Why are Christians so strongly against premarital sex?


Clarify Share Report Asked July 01 2013 Mini Anonymous (via GotQuestions)

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Shea S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries
Premarital sex involves any kind of sexual contact prior to entering into a legal marriage relationship. There are a number of reasons why Scripture and traditional Christianity oppose this. God de...

July 01 2013 4 responses Vote Up Share Report

Data Bruce Lyon Elder: Restoration Fellowship Assembly
The question is "Why are Christians so strongly against premarital sex?"

The answer is plain and simple. We are to love our neighbor as ourselves. Having sex with anyone outside of marriage is not based on love it is 99.0 percent of the time based on lust. Now what is the end result of lust.

In the United States now, almost 45 percent of children are born to single mom's. So much for why God created Adam and Eve. They were to produce children and rear them up to be responsible adults. Unfortunately, one of their children, Cain, was not a responsible adult and ended up murdering his brother. That being said, sex outside of marriage is not according to the pattern that God originated and intended to be followed by all mankind.

Pre-marital sex produces heartache and sorrow and also children born to many who are under-age girls not prepared to raise a child. To-day we have terms like friends with benefits, etc., who participate in casual sex with no emotional attachment or so they think. For a believer a man is to leave his family home and join with his wife and they should be joined in that marriage relationship for life.

March 22 2014 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Terry Galloway Christ follower, Bible lover, mission of sharing the gospel
I want to answer this from personal experience with the Lord. I thought that I was a Christian (in church all my life, walked the aisle and got baptized at age 12 after a church camp experience), but I had no regeneration of the heart and no hunger and thirst for the Bible or for righteousness. After God revealed to me at 1:00 in the morning that my husband was involved in adultery after 22 years of marriage, I floundered in deep depression for nine months.

But God, brought me to my own salvation and repentance at age 45! I surrendered my life, was born again and filled with the Holy Spirit's love, but then God started speaking to tell me what I needed to repent of. Guess what the first thing was? Yes, my premarital sex with my husband while we dated for seven years through high school and college and his first year of law school. I had prayed if this was the man I was supposed to marry, but I had taken matters into my own hands to assume that premarital sex was okay with God. Obviously it was not since all these years later God was telling me to repent of my sexual sin of adultery and to go and sin no more. 

Unfortunately, my husband divorced me to go on to commit more and more adultery, but I am still right with God because I am celibate, forgiven and not entering into any sexual sin (Matthew 5:32 says that the man who marries me commits adultery). I will also say that God had me repent of idolatry of worshipping my husband and children more than God and even for stealing a tube of lipstick when I was seven years old.

He knows everything, sees everything and even knows that lust is adultery. We much guard our eyes and hearts. I will never know how things would have been different in my marriage if I had not given myself away, but fortunately my three children have known the importance of this and one daughter at the age of 26 has not even been kissed. She has an incredible relationship with God and I fully trust God that He will bless her for her obedience.

Basically it is God's plan and we are not to lean on our own understanding but to trust Him that His way is always best for us because He loves us with His unfailing love. If you have fallen, repent and ask God to take over your life so that you will be equipped to God and sin no more. He is faithful to do this. He purchased your entire life on the cross, not just the areas you want to give Him. He is worthy and trustworthy.

August 21 2015 4 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Gregory Tomlinson Minister, husband,father,grandfather,vet., college graduate
Hello everyone, 
God bless you for these most excellent and spot on answers and testimonies. I would like to add to these answers another aspect of this jewel of understanding.

From the beginning to the end of the Holy Bible, fornication or premarital sex, or sex outside of marriage as we call it today, is spoken against. Proverbs from the very beginning and throughout has spoken of its danger and unwise usage.

Paul says even those that marry will have trouble in the flesh, because of it and the point I will make is this; multiple partners will breed discontentment and give a point of comparison whether conscience or sub-conscience. There is a certain excitement that comes from eating the forbidden fruit that can influence contentment also it is a perversion of the natural use of this intended union. It will create battles you do not need to fight and that will pre-occupy your precious time and war against your entering into the spirit which is how we commune with God.

God has your best interest at heart, and does not want you to struggle but be successful and happy, it is why he exhorts us to flee fleshly lusts that war against our spirits. He paid a great price to redeem those that make mistakes and it was and is sufficient, He will help you overcome temptation and be victorious but it is easier without adding stumble blocks. 

It is not just "Christians" that speak out against it but God, many Christ-like believers have experience with this mistake and try to share their insight because of their regret. In Romans 8; 13 it states: KJV

[13] For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live.
Simple Definition of mortify
: To cause (someone) to feel very embarrassed and foolish (Merriam Webster, 2016).
And in Col.3
[5] Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:

This is the right way to feel, we have to exercise and train ourselves to think Godly, sin comes naturally to us and temptation is common but being pro-active when you are young by being obedient will keep you from needless battles. Maranatha

January 22 2016 1 response Vote Up Share Report

Goodboy Kilian Kean Engineer
Why are Christians against premarital sex? God says so! There are a host of verses that support His position some were outlined in previous comments. We as His children must obey which is part of the Sanctification process.

Why does God say no to premarital sex? Because He cares for you. He will not withhold any "good" thing from you. If there is anything in this world that is good for you, God will give it to you. However, it has to be God's decision what is good for you. Matthew 7:11 If you have honestly prayed for something good and it has not come, maybe the answer is "wait" or "no" from God. Many times we ask for things that are just plain wrong for us. James 4:3

What God deems good for me may not be good for you and vise versa. He works with us on an individual basis. God is very specific on how He works with each believer. 1 Corinthians 10:13 is very clear that God will not give us more than we can handle and when temptation comes, there will be a way out. Sex is a powerful temptation which is prolific everywhere in media, social events and our culture. It is a worldly accepted norm, but we are called to not be of this world nor love the world. Matthew 5:13, Mark 9:50, 1 John 2:15

God created sex and He meant for it to be enjoyable. Remember that, He created sex, but He created sex with specific rules, that being between a man and woman who are married. 

I need to discuss something that is deeply disturbing. In our local high school and junior high schools, there are many young children (ages 11-18) who go to church, yet think that "oral" sex is OK. They have been deceived into thinking that oral sex does not classify as sex as God defines. This is very wrong and heart breaking. Due to pressure from parents and legal issues, local pastors are afraid to teach on subjects that clearly define what is and is not sex. Parents are afraid to talk about the rules on sex with their kids due to being uncomfortable or not knowing what the Bible says. We all suffer as a result and children are left to experiment. This should not be so.

I firmly believe that having sex with multiple partners is the cause of the "insanity" in many people that we are seeing today. The act of sex has effects upon our brains in which neuron paths are created much like rain created ruts in dirt. When we are married and have sex with our spouse only, our pleasure from sex is increased as our neuron paths are looking for that one person. When we move to another person, our brain is seeking the previous person and has to create new neuron paths. Multiply this changing affect with many people and the person becomes insane. Much research has discovered this design that God created in us. Search on "neurological effects of sex on the brain"; there is a Ted Talk called "The Great Porn Experiment" that has data on how porn is negativity affecting young men. God designed and knows what is "good" for us.

2 Chronicles 7:14 is very clear on what needs to be done. If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.

We who call ourselves God's people need to humble ourselves. James 4:10 agrees. 
We are to pray. Luke 21:36 and 2 Thessalonians 1:11 agree. 
Seek God's face. John 1:1 shows that the Bible is God and this is how we find Him. Read it. 
Turn from wicked ways. 1 John 1:8-10 is the beginning to of recognition, confession and restoration. 
The result is God will hear us and forgive us and heal.

God knows what is best for us. Let's obey Him and receive His blessings.

July 21 2016 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

My picture Jack Gutknecht ABC/DTS graduate, guitar music ministry Baptist church
The 7th Commandment (my favorite commandment, actually, because it is so relevant to today!) is against adultery (Exodus 20:14). The Bible says that adultery includes any sexual activity outside of marriage. This is why the Bible says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4, ESV). -- another of my favorite, relevant verses, but see this in The Message Bible.

Focus on the Family has a good article about this. 

The Bible uses sexual purity and faithfulness between spouses as an image of our relationship with God -- See Song of Solomon 1-8, Hosea 1-14, and Ezekiel 16.

Scripture is not outdated! 
Read 1 Corinthians 6:9, 2 Corinthians 12:21, Galatians 5:19, Deuteronomy 22:13-28, and Hebrews 13:4 in The Message Bible:

4 "Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex." 

September 30 2021 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Open uri20160825 6966 rhyaou John Matthews Retired Professional Singer, Conductor and Seeker
Christians are opposed to pre-marital sex because most pre-marital sex does not lead to marriage (a legal term, not a biblical term.) There was no such thing in scripture as pre-marital sex; it was either fornication or adultery. Sex between a man and a woman who was not married constituted the union of two into one. That is assuming the woman was not a harlot. The sex act constituted marriage in the sight of God (also assuming they were both believers in the God of Jacob.) 

Marriage as we know it today is not a biblical relationship. It is a legal one. Marriage has nothing to do with sex. It has everything to do with legal status. If a man and woman have "pre-marital" sexual intercourse, and they are committed to each other and to Jesus Christ, then they are married in the sight of God. No other requirement is needed. No preacher, no license, not priest, nothing. "What God hath joined let no on put asunder." If they want to make it "legal," then get the marriage license and have the appropriate officer of the court sign off. It is sad that a legal marriage certificate is the only way two can be free of "sin," even if the commitment was sanctified by God.

The problem today is that any sex before a commitment to God, and to each other, is considered and is labelled sin. It is sin unless it leads to a commitment before God. The Bible is explicit on this subject. Where some Christians get confused are the legal requirements spelled out in society and not the Bible.

Just remember, fornication and adultery are sinful. A committed sexual relationship between a man and a woman is not sinful. God requires no legal contract to be "married" under His rules.

January 08 2022 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

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