Is there such a thing as a soul mate? Does God have one specific person for you to marry?


Clarify Share Report Asked July 01 2013 Mini Anonymous (via GotQuestions)

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Shea S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries
The common idea of a "soul mate" is that for every person, there is another person who is a "perfect fit," and if you marry anyone other than this soul mate, you will never be happy. Is this concep...

July 01 2013 4 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Becky H
No, the idea of a "soul mate" or "the right person" is worldly wisdom, not Biblical. It is dangerous because it encourages a few negative things amongst others: 1) selfishness, 2) the idea of being made whole by someone else, and 3) the idea that such relationships will embody little to no conflict or need for effort. 

The selfishness point has already been elaborated on in the other answers above. The 2nd point is another misconception perhaps perpetuated by the famous movie line, "You complete me." We should be healthy and complete in our relationship with Christ (for He is all we need, and no other imperfect & sinful person can save us/make us new/ make us whole by their love alone; only Christ's love is fully pure and has done all the aforementioned for us since we could not do it ourselves. Hence why he came.) before we seek someone to join us on our journey in the way of Christ. 

If you're seeking someone to "complete you" and be your "soul mate" then where is your soul headed if it's not already connecting itself to Christ? As for the 3rd point, due to the fact that we are sinful and our love isn't fully pure, we have to work through our own imperfections in order to make things work. 

The Bible wouldn't need to instruct us to be kind, loving, respectful, understanding, etc if we were already naturally able to do this without a problem, but we know we aren't. And why would it need to instruct wives and husbands on how to treat one another, if the bliss and perfection of the "soul mate" concept were true?

There is a great sermon series I've watched a few times in the past 3 years and have recommended to a ton of people. The first topic they hit is this soul mate/right person myth. The pastor does a better job of digging at it than I can, and he's got more to add to the whole perspective on having healthy, great relationships in Christ. Hope you find it as helpful! (Google search: "the new rules for love, sex, and dating" it should be the first one that comes up. It's a sermon series from Northpoint church)

August 31 2014 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Samuel fb2 Samuel Asamoah
There is someone that God has designed you to be with. Even if you miss that person out of disobeidience, you can still marry another and be confident that the marriage would be as sweet as its intended to be. 

Too many people marry without considering the spiritual and unity that exist between the relationship. We are moved by a persons looks and certain physical actions they do. But I think if we wait and let the Lord confirm if the partner we want is good for us, we would be much better off than marrying on our own intellect - then living in unhappiness.
Psalm 34-1:4, Psalm 32:8-11, Proverbs 19:14

April 29 2014 3 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Tim Maas Retired Quality Assurance Specialist with the U.S. Army
I believe that there were multiple women with whom I could have had a successful Christian marriage, if they had felt the same toward me as I did toward them, or if various factors affecting our association had or had not existed, but those relationships did not work out.

By contrast, in the case of the woman whom I did marry, there were external circumstances present that indicated clearly to me that God was involved in bringing us together, and that marrying her was His will for my life. I'm not saying that she is or was the only woman with whom I could have been happy, or that God "intended" me to be only with her all along, but I believe that He was guiding both of us in the events that led up to our marriage.

April 02 2017 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Gregory Tomlinson Minister, husband,father,grandfather,vet., college graduate
No, on the soul mate, as is well explained by previous post. If you want a God given spouse then seek and you will find. I fasted and prayed for several months and God answered me in a dream. When we met at church some months later it was just like the dream; she was wearing the same clothes and said the same thing and I knew. I then waited for her to know it, which was not long after.

After this, temptation for me was easier to overcome as she literally filled my dreams; everyone who was has relationships before marriage suffers temptations more often than those who wait. When people I worked with girl-watched I did not as I was content.

He showed me who I should marry and I took it to heart. We've been married 37 years, had 4 sons and 7 grandchildren we have had up and downs, trials and temptations but we continue to work on loving each other. I cannot imagine growing old with anyone else. 

If you did not seek God before you married, don’t worry. You can still be happy by sincerely committing yourself to each other. Be quick to forgive and put each other first (after God of course). Please note we were of the same faith. Unions between believers and non-believers rarely work out; opposites do not attract. If you are married to a non-believer, remember prayer does work and things can change.

Food for thought….The only predestined soul mate you have is Christ Jesus. As your soul yearns to be reunited in fellowship with God it is the natural order of His creation. Maranatha.

December 05 2018 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Ocie Taylor
That's kind of a tough one but I do not believe there is a such thing as a soul mate. 

The only relationship I can think of where the term soul mate could apply would be our relationship to God through salvation. We (the church) are the bride of Christ, prepared for Him to exist for all eternity in a perfect union.

THAT, to me, is the true definition of a soulmate.

When the bible speaks of marriage, I haven't seen any scriptures that speak to God sending anyone a wife. Yes there are instances where God has ordained that certain relationships happen, but I believe all of that was necessary to fulfill scripture in some instances.

From what I've read the bible speaks of a man "finding" a good wife or the scripture that reads "I have FOUND the one in whom my soul rejoices". 

Maybe there are instances where two people meet and just "click" and form a solid bond of love, respect, and admiration for each other that eventually moves into marriage, but according to scripture I haven't seen anything that states God has someone set aside specifically for you.

But I also don't see anything wrong with asking God for such a thing.

June 02 2020 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

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