Does a wife have to submit to her husband?


Clarify Share Report Asked July 01 2013 Mini Anonymous (via GotQuestions)

Community answers are sorted based on votes. The higher the vote, the further up an answer is.

Shea S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries
Submission is an important issue in relation to marriage. Here is the plain biblical command: "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of th...

July 01 2013 4 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini joyce whaley
Yes, she should submit to her husband as long as he is not asking her to do anything contrary to the word of God and the laws of the land. Then YES she should submit to her husband 364/365; 24/7. And that includes submitting whether he is the bread winner of the household or not. 

I also suggest reading 1 Corinthians 7

April 28 2014 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Dodie Allers Christian, Wife, Mother
In my opinion, it important to remember Ephesians 5:25-28. When your husband loves you as Christ loves the church and as much he loves himself - or endures to each day - you trust in the decisions he makes as the head of the household. Granted there are times when you will disagree with your husband and, in a healthy loving relationship, there's room for the wife to give her opinion. But, ultimately, the final word is the husband's.

December 17 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Stringio Gary Patton People Development Coach to Christians
Brother Houdmann's first-included answer above is a typical one to this crucial question. It would be given by most Jesus Followers...regardless of their gender... although probaby not as well or as thouroughly.

In my opinion, however, it falls short by failing to mention several important points that I find helpful in prayerfully seeking God's heart for his children on this crucial matter. 

Mr. Houdmann fails to mention that the all-important context for verses 22-24. That context is Paul's important directive in verse 21. To not do so can can totally, plus some can argue, male chauvinistically ignore verse 21's key relevance to an accurate, complete and Godly answer.

This possibly inadvertent but, nonetheless, Christian, male chauvinism seems to me to be encouraged by most English translations of the New Covenant. You may have noticed English Bible translators usually place a period at the end of verse 21 and separate it, by an extra-Biblical insertion. Most insert a heading which often says: "Wives Submit To Your Husbands".

This latter reinforcement of seeming male, paternalistic chauvinism is definitely unwarranted in the context of the gender equality references and comments throughout the New Covenant.

Equally unhelpful are the Mr. Haudmann's emphasis on paternalistic, Old Covenant Scripture. These are not "useful for teaching" on this issue (2 Timothy 3:16-17)...unless one's a male with a societal, too common cultural, if not New Covenantal, bias.

Finally, it is important to realize in seeking Holy Spirit's heart on the crucial issue of God's intention for Jesus-Following female/male and husband/wife relationships that the Greek in which Paul's secretary wrote his original words were inscribed without modern punctuation or paragraphs.

The Apostle's commands were certainly without non-Pauline headings that one can wonder might have been designed to bias both readers' and teachers' interpretations.

Blessings all!

December 16 2013 2 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Ann marin
In my opinion women should not have to submit to their husbands in all things. God created women to be his helper, not his slave. She can assist, but shouldn't be compelled to do everything her husband says just because he is her husband. I'm not saying women should just ignore their husbands and do the complete opposite, I'm saying women have just as much of a voice in the matters of the home as men do. Marriage is a two way street and shouldn't be controlled by just one side.

Is it right for one to constantly cook, clean, raise the children while the other sits on the couch watching football because he is a man and he says he can do that? No, of course not. We live in the year 2015. Take 1 Peter 2:18 for example. It states "servants be submissive to your masters in all things. Not only to those who are good and gentle, but those who are unreasonable". This verse is stating a slave should be submissive to his/her owner. Do we have slaves anymore? No, because mankind eventually realized it wasn't right. 

If you trust in the Lord and trust in your husband you don't have to "submit", yet you follow out of love, respect and the knowledge that you are confident in your husbands decisions. I think unfortunately in far too many households the verse in regards to a wife submitting to her husband has encouraged a largely male chauvinistic attitude towards women. That creates a culture signifying that men are somehow more important because they were born a man. Not true. God loves us all equally. I know my answer is not going to be the most popular, however I believe God loves us all the same and we should love each other and treat each other as equals, not putting one above another because of gender. I love my husband, we make our decisions and work together as one. I don't view him as more important than me. We are in this together as one... as equals.

January 20 2015 1 response Vote Up Share Report

Data Danny Hickman Supporter Believer in The Gospel Of Jesus Christ
No, a wife doesn't HAVE to submit to her husband and the husband doesn't HAVE to love his wife. Yes, Eph 5:22 and following verses are given to remind husbands and wives of the roles given (a gift) by God for the family to function in a good and peaceful environment. 

The scriptures are not commands, rules and regulations given to us for us to put to memory to live by. No rule or regulation can cause a man or woman to love and submit, or respect the other; no decree, precept, ordinance, command, or civic bill, can change a man or woman's heart. 

We are to choose to believe that God gives us proper guidance for our good, or we can reject His instructions and deal with the resulting aftermath.

Submission involves surrendering authority not your rights. That's where I think the error is in the interpretation of the admonition given by Paul to "submit." 
We submit constantly, on a daily and routine basis, but when told to submit to someone we live with, we flinch. It's true that "familiarity breeds contempt."

What's strange is that given a choice to lead or to follow, an overwhelming majority of people choose to go along as companion instead of assuming command. Case in point: there are over 300 million citizens in the United States. Seventeen people apply for nomination to be President, and the commentary is that the field is FULL of candidates. Not many people choose to lead, ask any Pastor. Ask Moses: "Who am I that I should go to Pharoah..."? Exodus 3:11. Ceding authority to others is preferable, but that's not the issue. 

This question is not about acquiescence to authority, but deprivation of rights, which is the problem inherent with this instruction. People given authority routinely violate the RIGHTS of those who are to SUBMIT to them. 

To fix the problem we must retrain leadership, the problem is not usually with the one submitting. If you don't believe me ask my submissive wife, Faye.

June 14 2017 2 responses Vote Up Share Report

Image41 Ezekiel Kimosop
Does a wife have to submit to her husband? My answer to this question based on my reading of Scripture is a resounding yes. Ephesians 5:22-24 is emphatic on this as concerns Christian couples. This is beyond cultural exigencies. 

What does it mean to submit to the husband? In God's divine order, a Christian wife recognizes that the husband is the head over her and her children. This submission should be informed by godly reverence. It should be the wife's desire to please God rather than satisfying the demands of a mechanical script. 

We learn from 1 Peter 3:1-7 that some renowned godly women submitted to their husbands in the fear of the LORD. Sarah called Abraham "my lord" out of her godly reverence. It was not an act of subjugation or slave control. 

I am aware that some cultural exigencies in sections of contemporary Christianity have emerged and taken issue with Scripture exhortations that they consider to confront their convictions on equality of males and females. 

Scripture does not discriminate against the female gender in this context. It simply proclaims the mind of God on the specific area of context. 

My view is that a godly Christian wife will not have issues with the relevant texts or passages of Scripture that address Christian submission. This exhortation is governed by timeless principles of Scripture. It can neither be ignored or amended to serve cultural convenience.

May 01 2024 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Paula Fether Lifelong student of the scriptures
Though this question is raised often, I rarely see any reference to Gal. 3:28, or Jesus' command that among his followers "the greatest must be the least" (Mat. 20:25-28), or that God shows no favoritism (Acts 10:34), or that God looks on the heart rather than the flesh (1 Sam. 16:7).

Eph. 5:21 states that "submission" is MUTUAL, meaning all to each other, which makes any sort of hierarchy or chain of command impossible.

Though it's not possible here to provide the Greek grammar of the usual prooftexts, the overarching principle is that humility is required of all Jesus' followers, not just some. Husbands are as sinful as wives, and both need the Holy Spirit and the Word for guidance. No one is either entitled or restricted on the basis of the flesh.

May 02 2024 10 responses Vote Up Share Report

Image Bryan Naidoo founder and senior pastor of The Upper-Room Church
The question...."does a wife have to submit to her husband"...this subject has been misplaced and misunderstood. This question seem to give some sort of leverage of what a women can do or must do.

This has to do with relationships between husbands and wives. It is only obvious that a woman will submit to her husband in the role of intimacy. Her submission generally responds to a loving approach from her husband.

So when the bible speaks of submission for women in whatever area to her own husband, her submission is a response to the Love that is given to her by her husband.

May I add it is not a command given to a women rather a response expected from a women when love is displayed. If a woman is forced to submit, it is equivalent to "Rape".

Today The church submits to Jesus not as a command, but rather responding to his overwhelming love on the cross.

A word to Husbands, learn from him you call your Lord, give your life for your wife, she will not only submit but fall at your feet.

August 08 2014 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Jim Dubé Former pastor
For me, it is important to remember the difference between submission and obedience. There is no reference in the NT (the church age) where the wife is told to obey her husband, but she is instructed to submit to him. If the husband asks her to do something that she cannot (unscriptural, etc), she is released from obeying, BUT she is to remain submitted to his leadership.

It is important we remember this differential: obedience is an ACTION; submission is an ATTITUDE. I can be disobedient (for conscience sake, etc.), but still be submitted.

In Acts 4, Peter and leadership were commanded (by Sanhedrin) to not preach in the Name of Jesus. They disobeyed the Sanhedrin, but remained submitted (the early Church NEVER tried to overthrow the religious or secular government that attacked their God-given instruction to preach the gospel of the kingdom). 

In Daniel 6, in disobedience to Darius' order, Daniel bowed his knees and heart to the Almighty God, and was then thrown into the lion's den. When Darius came the next morning to check on Daniel's condition, Daniel called back to Darius "Oh king, live forever." - showing respect for Darius the authority, but still remaining disobedient to Darius' order. 

Romans 13:1-2 tells us that EVERY soul is to be submitted to the authority, as every authority is put in place by God and His Word. If we do NOT submit, we are then resisting the Word of God itself. We are to remain submitted, even if we have to disobey an order that would require us to violate His Word or our conscience.

January 05 2023 1 response Vote Up Share Report

Stringio Beverly Mether
If as in my parent's relationship [ both licensed and CALLED of GOD Ministers ] Mother trusted Father's relationship with GOD, his First Love; and as she shared with us therefore could trust Father's choice. Only once did she feel he had made a mistake and he admitted later it was made out of fear, not GOD'S comfirmation. 

Always Mama Honored my Father for his walk with GOD, his dedication to our family and then his Congregation [ Biblical order ] and his Faithfullness and hard work. Praising and honoring him publicly and in her actions and demeanor. 

Father always preached that GOD took adams rib to seperate Eve from Adam; and his left side to protect his heart from temptation. We must seek GOD'S perfect will and ask HIM to bring the Mate HE has already created for us, in HIS perfect Plan. Today we choose who we "Desire/Lust" not wait for or ask for GOD'S choice, given life to share and protect us!

April 10 2014 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

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