Tim Maas Retired Quality Assurance Specialist with the U.S. Army

In my opinion, the commandment to honor father and mother is directed at children of all ages (including adult children) with respect to their parents. The Bible provides other specific guidance concerning the behavior of parents toward their children, such as is found in Ephesians 6:4 ("Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."), and Proverbs 22:6 ("Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.") 

Parents are responsible to God for the extent to which they meet their obligations as parents, and children are responsible for compliance with the commandment to honor their father and mother. And God (who has all knowledge) is able to judge us with complete accuracy and fairness on our performance. 

With regard to receiving honor and respect, the most that parents can do (again, in my opinion) is to assure that they are acting in a manner worthy of that respect. If they are not, or if the children are rebellious and defiant of their own accord regardless of the parent's behavior, then a demand for respect by the parent will likely have little effect (but, again, each party is responsible to God for actions that they can control, or for the individual contributions of each party to the situation).

Parents should also keep in mind their own imperfections and shortcomings, as well as (for Christian parents) the manner in which God has forgiven them for Jesus' sake, and should exhibit their own maturity (as human beings, if not also as Christians) by displaying a willingness to be reconciled with their children in the event of disagreements and disappointments.

In cases of estrangement between parents and children, I think that both parents and children would be wise (at least for their own well-being, if not also for the health of the relationship) to choose an attitude of understanding, acceptance, personal responsibility (where appropriate), and (with God's help) even forgiveness, rather than harboring or building up resentment within themselves; and also to always be open to the possibility of reconciliation.

An example from the Bible that comes to mind in that regard is the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), in which the father was continually looking for his wayward son to return (despite the manner in which the son had disappointed him and squandered his resources). And when the father finally saw his son (although he was still a long way off), the father took the initiative to run to him out of compassion and welcome him back, even before the son could give his planned apology to his father.

November 09 2015 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Jack Gutknecht ABC/DTS graduate, guitar music ministry Baptist church

Once there was a little old man. His eyes blinked and his hands trembled; when he ate he clattered the silverware distressingly, missed his mouth with the spoon as often as not, and dribbled a bit of his food on the tablecloth. Now he lived with his married son, having nowhere else to live, and his son’s wife didn’t like the arrangement.

“I can’t have this,” she said. “It interferes with my right to happiness.” So she and her husband took the old man gently but firmly by the arm and led him to the corner of the kitchen. There they set him on a stool and gave him his food in an earthenware bowl. From then on he always ate in the corner, blinking at the table with wistful eyes. One day his hands trembled rather more than usual, and the earthenware bowl fell and broke. “If you are a pig,” said the daughter-in-law, “you must eat out of a trough.” So they made him a little wooden trough and he got his meals in that. 

These people had a four-year-old son of whom they were very fond. One evening the young man noticed his boy playing intently with some bits of wood and asked what he was doing. “I’m making a trough,” he said, smiling up for approval, “to feed you and Mamma out of when I get big.”

The man and his wife looked at each other for a while and didn’t say anything. Then they cried a little. They then went to the corner and took the old man by the arm and led him back to the table. They sat him in a comfortable chair and gave him his food on a plate, and from then on nobody ever scolded when he clattered or spilled or broke things.

December 21 2021 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report