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Dear brothers and sisters in Christ, I do not consider myself to be a marriage minister or counselor. However, experiences can be great teachers. Sometimes they are personalized, others you can watch and learn. As I read your question I get the feeling you already know the answer. It is long past time. It is inappropriate. You have known this for a while. The bigger problem is, how did it come to this point?This becomes the issue. Let's go back to God's Holy Word and using this as a mirror, see ourselves not someone else. Adam, male and female, had this problem in the Garden of Eden. When their world fell apart, instead of repenting and asking God to fix it again, they blamed others for their problem. Adam male blamed that "woman You gave me." (blaming God) Adam female blamed the serpent, and the serpent was left holding the bag. Gen. 3:9-14 In Mark 7:21-23, there is a list of 13 things that live in the heart of man. Evil thoughts, adulteries, fornication, lascivious, wickedness on and on. Paul said he died daily. 1 Cor 15:31 Every day, we must take a portion of this old heart out to the cross to be crucified. Gal 2:20 We must see our own faults and failures first. Jesus plainly stated we must remove the beam from our own eye before we can remove the splinter from someone else's. Matt 7:3-5, Luke 6:41-42 So, once we accept that we might not have been as attentive or kind as we could have been, or that our temper kinda got the best of us at times, or that our jealousy is a bit overbearing, or whatever the LORD Jesus Christ shows you is YOUR problem... repent, ask God to forgive you, to restore you to Himself. Once your relationship is right with your Creator, then ask Him to restore your marriage. I highly recommend the "Love Dare" cards made popular by "Fire-proof." Even if your marriage is over, get these cards for yourself. They will force you to heal if you are sincere and want to live for Jesus Christ. At what point should a partner interfere? Only after you've prayed about your own motives, asked God to show you, yourself, been honest with yourself about your role in the situation, and have made real efforts to correct the problems God has revealed to you. Sit your spouse down, calmly and evenly explain to them that you understand why they are choosing to spend more of their time with X, however, from this point forward you'd like them to cut back just a little and begin to refocus on some of the things that make the two of you a great couple like.... (give some examples...) Remember to be prayed up, remain calm, no matter what is said or done keep your relationship with God intact. Remember that demanding someone break all ties, makes you look very jealous and will not bring the situation to a positive conclusion. If the situation were reversed, how would you feel about things? Always be prepared to put yourself in their shoes. Regardless of whether your spouse is willing to refocus on your marriage, God will take care of them. You stay focused on Him! Matt 6:33 Prayer changes you! The situation is up to God. Be blessed, Lena
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