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I was faced with this question a few years ago. First of all, yes the sex outside of marriage is a sin. Sex is reserved for a man and a woman who are married. In the question about a teenage girl who becomes pregnant and out of wedlock, the answer I found was this: What do I believe about abortion? How do I feel about a young woman or teenage girl facing the choice of abortion or having her baby? How would I treat her? Having worked in crisis pregnancy ministry previously, I knew right then and there that it was important to let those girls know for a fact that someone cared about them and loved them. They had to know that we loved them and God loved them. The pregnant girls were already caught in the consequences of their actions. They were dealing with guilt, too. They were facing the fear of being rejected by those who cared the most about them. So, feeding guilt, shame, and rejection into them mainly pushes them away and causes them to consider another answer to their problem: abortion. I would minister to my teenage daughter the same way I would minister to a teenage girl in a crisis pregnancy situation. For me the answer would be prayer, offering hope, not showing condemnation, and reassuring her that no matter what she has done, there is always someone who cares about her and will be by her side. Reassure her that you will love her always and that God hasn't forsaken her as He loves her so deeply. Somewhere in the situation, at the right time, you may find the opportunity to talk about sin, but not in a "I told you so" way. Basically, she needs support and grace. Otherwise, there could be 2 victims in the situation: the teenage girl and the baby. If the baby dies through abortion, then the teenage girl will die on the inside.
I became pregnant at 19. My parents were, of course, shocked and disappointed. But they came through for me. They were very supportive because they don't believe in abortion. What was done was done and a child was going to be born. She is 15 now. I was unable to keep her and signed her over to my parents and then to my sister. She is very smart, very talented and shows lots of promise. I thank God for my parents and for my sister that they were able to take her and care for her.
If my daughter became pregnant [she is now 17] then as a parent and a christian I can only see her through her pregnancy with all the love and compassion I can with the help of God's spirit muster. Who among us could caste the first stone as Jesus would say. We are always to deal with all that confronts us with the same forgiving loving attitude of mind that Jesus gave to us as an example. Love conquers all!
A Christian would LOVE her as Jesus has and does LOVE us...John 13:34... Her sin, misjudgment, transgression, misbehavior or what ever you want to call it, is no different and no worse than any sin anyone else has committed... Jam 2:10 NLT For the person who keeps all of the laws except one is as guilty as a person who has broken all of God's laws. So if we are to even love our enemies, how can we not love our daughter? We should comfort her during the pregnancy and comfort and help in anyway after the child is born. That child was NO accident, for every child is made and put together by God... "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb." - Psa 139:13 NLT No one but God knows what he has in store for that child... Praise the Lord for only he knows everything!
A while back a Christian family I'm acquainted with was faced with this situation, though their son and the girl were both in college, so a little bit older. Of course, the parents were paying for college for their adult children. I was amazed at the parents' response and hold it as a wonderful reminder of God's grace to us, His children. My friend said the key was in how their children approached their parents - in humility and with contrition. The couple knew they had been caught in their sin, but with love and God's great forgiveness in their minds, the parents looked for a way to help. After meeting with the couple (likely more than once) and, I'm sure, plenty of prayer, the decision was made that the couple would marry and still continue on with their schooling with the support of their parents. That first grandchild arrived around Christmastime and was a joy to all. Today that child has happy, successful parents, doting grandparents, and cousins and siblings. How different it all could have been had the parties involved not had sound biblical teaching (based in God's love and grace) to direct their actions.
What an easy question. The answer comes to us from the story of the prodigal son. That answer is to love her! And to treat her as you would a daughter who was not pregnant or a daughter who was pregnant and married. We must remember that all our children and all the children of anyone else have sinned. There is consequence to all sin. But there is also forgiveness. Jesus died to provide it. Beyond this, our responsibility is to help her and the baby get to where they have the Holy Spirit as a shield against further sin by inviting Him in. We will much more be able to do this if she feels no condemnation from us, rather love, just as Jesus has shown us. Then make sure she is exposed to His Love.
The die has been cast, you can do nothing about, what has already been done, but the only answer is to love her, take care of her. A mistake has been made, BUT we all make mistakes, remember that. And do not be a judge and judge her mistake as greater than your mistakes, even though the effects will never go away and many of the effects will be blessed, beautiful ones, if handled as a Christian family! Needless to say, if your heart is right, you will love that baby, with all of your heart! The mistake has been made and there is nothing you can do, but handle it with love and care. And remember, we are none perfect, and right now, that daughter and that baby are real and need care. This is your child and your grandchild, you are all that they have right now, and God will help you to handle it!
A teen girl that becomes pregnant isn't exactly your “role model.” They have been caught in their act of sex and will feel guilty. Many of the people that have loved her the most will be disappointed. She will feel ashamed and want to abort the baby. She won't want to have a baby that she can't even take care of. Her parents need to encourage her to have the baby. If the young girl can't take care of it, then her parents should step up and take the role themselves, and when the new mother is ready, she can take care of her own child.
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