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In my humble opinion it appears your marriage covenant has been broken many times over some period of time. Was there any price paid in the past for such transgressions or just empty threats on your part? I would submit there are many more unknown factors in the question here, contact your pastor or a professional, someone who you can trust to provide neutral third party assistance for both of you and or children? If your husband will not go for any reason or excuse, no more half measures, contact legal representation and start considering your legal options now, no more empty weak threats lady! Once you have chosen the legal path, do not stop, when the reality of losing his assets finally strikes him there will be many changes and deceptions, be wise! You have much to consider and do here sister lady, the true reality is only one of you is married today, and only you can change that if you really want to. In the Lord's freedom and strength to do what is very hard....warrior on
First of all, at such a proportion, it may not really be easy to immediately give a final definitive answer. I believe what is important is to try and find out what the whole cause of all this could be. It is true that some people habitually cheat on their spouses with no definitive clear reasons other than selfishness. On the other hand though, some people cheat on their spouses out of failure to live up to each others' expectations. There is need for cautious approach in both cases but what we are critically trying to look at here is to try to build not to break, to save the marriage not to break it. I have vivid testimonies of brethren whose spouses have habitually cheated on them, however, out of persistence in prayer and trust in God for a positive end, they have come out victorious. However though, this is also dependent on our individual characters. Some people can bear such challenges, some longer than others; others can’t, not even for a minute. There are a number of factors Jesus the CHRIST overcame the devil one of which that is so clear to me is character. Jesus the CHRIST had an unrelenting character no matter what. I pray as Christians we all take on such character. We are not supposed to easily give up till all our energies are fully consumed. The fact that we are Born Again and a couple does not mean we will not encounter such challenges, how we counter such and what the outcome is, is what will tell the hero in us (Daniel 11:32). Salvation is a one off in one’s life, transformation is a process. However, it is also understandable in human terms how difficult and intimidating such a situation is. Whatever counseling is given should put this into perspective. However though, the standard of God remains and it is through such that we are counted as worthy for God. In Mathew 19, the Bible allows the man to remarry in case his wife cheats on him. However, this was not in disregard of women’s feelings, it was/is because it is more common for men to cheat on their wives than women do on their husbands. Biblically, we are not directed as to how we should respond when it is the husband cheating on their wives. The Holy Spirit can play His role in such a case, most especially if we seek for His counsel. My counseling to such a lady would be in two dimensions: a) if the husband is cheating on her and is brag ant about it, then she could contemplate a way out of such a marriage, b) if the cheating husband is showing signs that he is simply possessed and is in need of deliverance, she can hang on for the unrelenting changing power of God to act on the husband through prayer and trust in God. However though, the most winning formula here is LOVE. LOVE overcomes all hurdles. If all is done in love, there would be less conflict. Whether in separation or not, LOVE should be the leading factor. Whether in agreement or not, LOVE should be on top of everything. 1Corinthians 13:1-8; Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; 6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; 7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. 8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
I believe that in the answers above you have been given some excellent advice. My Brothers and Sisters in Christ have provided you with truly wonderful answers. The only thing that I wanted to add was a comment to your state of mind. You have left many unanswered questions. We are assuming that your husband has left? Or is he still with you? Repentant? This is my question back to you. What is your state of mind? Are you willing to forgive him? Are you willing to fight for your marriage? Are you willing to give the seven times seventy chance and forget that this has ever happened? Matt 18:21-35 Often women are willing to take a man back into their lives after trust is broken, willing to forgive. However, the nagging doubt of forgetting is always there. It creeps into every conversation, every fight, every close moment, that nagging doubt that you are not enough for him. That one day you will wake up and he will be gone again. Are you strong enough to handle this? Do you have personal safety guards in place to protect you emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually? This is a battle you must fight inwardly first. It is not for the weak. It is my humble opinion that any marriage can be saved with God's help. If both parties are willing to turn their lives over to Him. If only one is willing to do so, God can and does work miracles everyday! I would strongly suggest looking up "The Love Dare Challenge". It can/will change your life for all eternity. Be Blessed, Lena
The Word of God teaches that we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and evil forces and wickedness in high places. You must know that the devil hates marriage and will do anything to destroy it. I would encourage you to go to war in prayer for your husband to bring him back. If he is contrite and wants to save the marriage, in order to cope with the emotional ups and downs of the betrayal, I would suggest you requesting a period of no sexual contact of at least 2 or 3 months while you observe him and decide whether it's worth saving. The journey back is tough; one moment you are ok and feeling positive and forgiving, the next moment you are raging and wanting to know what you did to deserve this. It is very hard but if you pray and fast you will pull through. I also encourage you to seek the assistance of a deliverance minister who may help him deal with any demonic origins of his behavior, including the spirits of list and greed. Most importantly, with most habitual cheaters it's hardly ever anything that you did to make him do what he did. So don't blame yourself.
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