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What should we do if we were caught 'in the act' by our 3-year-old son?

We have only a room. It's rather difficult for us to have intimacy as husband and wife. We usually have intimacy when our son is sleeping. But once when we thought he was sleeping soundly, he woke up and found both of us naked. It's not only embarrassing but guilty of letting our son seen us naked. I really do not want this to stay in his memory and all I can pray is that God take that part of memory out of him. I have heard friend saying children who have seen naked adults become sex addicts or sex maniacs or homosexuals. I'm afraid of my son's future. Please advise. 

Clarify Share Report Asked December 30 2013 Mini Anonymous

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1361839047 Jo Benbow
It is unlikely your son will have been bothered by your nakedness, did he mention it again? We undress our children for baths etc. Nakedness should not cause any reaction at that age. If we behave with shame at our bodies, we teach our children to feel shame at theirs.

I'm also concerned at your friends saying nakedness causes homosexuality etc. I counsel homosexuals, teens with eating disorders and substance users. I have never been told the cause for homosexuality was seeing naked people. However many with eating disorders say they were made to feel ashamed at their bodies. 

If the concern is the intimacy, our children walked in on my husband and I when they were aged 3 and 7. The following morning, at the breakfast table, our 7 year old asked what we were doing. We explained that we showed love to them by hugs and cuddles and that God gave mums and dads a very special kind of cuddle. She was quiet for a minute and then asked if that was how babies got into mummy's tummies. I said 'yes, sometimes'. She said 'Ok, that's nice."

She is now 20. She is a beautiful Christian woman who is staying celibate until she marries, as is our 17 year old son, so it hasn't done them any damage!

December 31 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


5
Me and my honey Susan Mateo
When God created us, beginning with Adam & Eve, the Bible says they were naked and UNashamed. God created them and called them GOOD. HE told them to be fruitful and multiply. Later, Paul confirms the righteousness of wedded sexual intimacy by admonishing the church to hold the marriage bed in honor by all and for neither husbands nor wives to withhold relations from the other.

In addition, almost every child walks in on his/her parents at some point in their formative years. Don't make a big deal about it. Just answer questions (if asked) simply & directly).

As to nakedness--or seeing one's parents naked momentarily--that does not cause any sexual deviancy. A glimpse of our parents naked is not the same thing as repeated exposure to other's nakedness that comes from pornography. 

Sexual deviancy comes from sexualizing of non-marital relationships and activities (that is where pornography falls). Teaching our children about privacy, the "special-ness" of our private parts (see I Corinthians 12:23 and surrounding verses) and about the special-ness of being married, i.e. that when we are married no one else is allowed to have that same kind of friendship or closeness as the person to whom we are married has with us. 

With reinforcement appropriate to age, over time, we build in our children a respect for themselves and for others that enables them to view sex as a special gift to married people--not to be squandered outside of that relationship of commitment.

December 31 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


3
Mini Jeanetta Bass
This is my opinion so here we go. Your husband and wife and you have done nothing wrong but show your affection toward your mate. Back in the day when all the parents had was a cabin or a one room shack never seemed to bother them all 12 kids if you get my meaning. Should your son ask (and I don't think he will) explain to him that the body is beautiful. As soon as you start acting like something is wrong with what he saw then he will think that it is wrong (what he saw) that's human nature, to think the opposite of good. Paul says the we would not have known sin unless the law would have shown me and came alive. If your son does not watch a lot of TV he'll be fine so then you can teach him about the naked body and how to be safe within the confinement of a loving dad and mother.

December 31 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


2
Stringio Andrew Yan
Please do not be ruled by the conclusion that this "accident" may lead to sexually deviant behavior bec you might unconsciously communicate just that. If your child asks about it, you may want to answer that your marriage is a gift from God. You may also want to be overt in showing signs of affection like holding hands, warm embraces, kind words and loving kisses even in the house. If sincere and pure love is witnessed, your child will have a complete and richer understanding on the love that his/her parents have committed to one other.

January 01 2014 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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