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First of all take courage, we have all felt this at some point or another. Also I think it is crucial that we do not go on feelings, but rather faith. John 3:16 says that if we believe in Him (Jesus) we are saved. John 6:53 & 54 says that unless we eat of His flesh and drink of His blood we have no life in us. To eat the flesh and drink the blood of Christ is to receive Him as our personal Saviour BELIEVING that He forgives our sins and that we are complete in Him. In other words we have to believe that we are saved. The devil is definitely going to try his best to make us not believe because he knows that is how we receive the gift of salvation; by believing. From the simple Bible account of how Jesus healed the sick, we may learn something about how to believe in Him for the forgiveness of sins. Let us turn to the story of the paralytic at Bethesda. The poor sufferer was helpless; he had not used his limbs for thirty-eight years. Yet Jesus bade him, "Rise, take up thy bed, and walk." The sick man might have said, "Lord, if Thou wilt make me whole, I will obey Thy word." But, no, he believed Christ's word, believed that he was made whole, and he made the effort at once; he willed to walk, and he did walk. He acted on the word of Christ, and God gave the power. He was made whole. In like manner you are a sinner. You cannot atone for your past sins; you cannot change your heart and make yourself holy. But God promises to do all this for you through Christ. You believe that promise. You confess your sins and give yourself to God. You will to serve Him. Just as surely as you do this, God will fulfill His word to you. If you believe the promise,--believe that you are forgiven and cleansed,--God supplies the fact; you are made whole, just as Christ gave the paralytic power to walk when the man believed that he was healed. It is so if you believe it. Do not wait to feel that you are made whole, but say, "I believe it; it is so, not because I feel it, but because God has promised." Jesus says, "What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them." Mark 11:24. There is a condition to this promise--that we pray according to the will of God. But it is the will of God to cleanse us from sin, to make us His children, and to enable us to live a holy life. So we may ask for these blessings, and believe that we receive them, and thank God that we have received them. It is our privilege to go to Jesus and be cleansed, and to stand before the law without shame or remorse. "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." Romans 8:1. Also I think that Jesus is wanting us to drink deeper from the everlasting well of life. And if we are satisfied with our experience than we would soon fall into the Laodacian state that a lot of supposed Christians find themselves in today. Knock and keep on knocking, seek and keep on seeking, dig and keep on digging! To many are satisfied will a mere pretence of religion, we are satisfied with scratching the surface when the real treasure is, like the precious metal, hidden deep in the earth. I believe that Jesus wants to be a real presence in our life's and that through His holy bible we can get to know Him for real. Peter say's in 11 Peter 1:3&4 that it is through His promises that we have access to the Divine Nature. Get to know his promises, claim them, believe them. One more thing to remember; If we are looking at ourselves, than Satan has succeded in taking our eyes off Christ. Look always to Him, His goodness, His love, His grace and mercy. By beholding we become changed! When the tempter says you are not good enough to be saved, say " indeed I am not, but Jesus is MY righteousness"!
Jason, can I ask you if you believe you were saved because you prayed a prayer or were baptized...etc.? If you are having doubts about your salvation, then this raises warning lights to me. I have been saved since 2009, and honestly speaking I have not had one doubt because of the experience I had. I was torn asunder, broken and brought to the end of myself to the place where I was literally undone. If you have had the same experience, you will know what I am talking about. It's an experience, a changing and a breaking that you could never mistake for anything else. When Saul was broken on the road to Damascus, he KNEW he was saved. No man could shake this assurance. If you are saved, if your heart has been crushed and your soul ripped open by the reality of your sin in light of the holiness of God, you will have absolutely no doubts whatsoever. The devil may try taking a pot shot at you, but it will fall helplessly at your feet because you are being carried by God's sovereign arms. Whatever God does in us, no man can ever undo. Remember the devil cannot tell the truth. He will always lie. Use this against him by knowing the opposite is true. He hates this! Hehe...
I have good news for you, from what I read I can tell that you are saved. Trust me on this, it is not a feeling as some well meaning people would tell you. Did you honestly ask to be saved? Then you are, still have doubts? Only you and he know how honest you were when you asked and he promised that whoever comes to him in no way will he cast out and nothing can take you from his hand, not even you. You are sealed like a letter to be delivered. You are his and the angels sing. My heart is happy for you. Now ask him to change you into what he wants you to be. Be willing to lose your favorite sins. GOD BLESS!
The thing about this walk (being a christian) is that it only takes one choice to become one. But it takes a life time to perfect it. When we fall/sin we have this thought that all is lost. But that could not be further from the truth. God is not like man, his love is unfailing. I would suggest taking some time and reading/mediating on what he "God" has to say about it. 1John 1:9 Mic 7:18-19 Rom 8:1 Rom 6-8
Assurance will come as you get to know the Lord better. Romans 10:17 says that faith comes through hearing the word of Christ and Jesus said that his sheep hear his voice and follow him (John 10) so as you listen to the Lord speaking, through the bible, his servants,and to you personally your faith, and assurance, will grow accordingly.
After one has invited God into their being and have repented of their sins, God gladly clothes you with the gift of grace/salvation. Once you feel, and I DO mean feel...the Holy Spirit come and dwell within you, and you feel peace and a renewed spirit in thought and actions as you become more like Christ thru studying and growing..will it be obvious to you and others that you have "been born again" a renewed person living for the Kingdom representing Christ in thought and deed. Of course, scripture points out this CAN BE LOST should one stray away back to the "Old ways" and ignore the Holy Spirits nudging you back into the right direction with you never repenting is what is called "grieving the HS". Been there, almost did that..but came to realize what happened and have been restored.
Assurance of salvation can be divided into many types. Man can have a moral assurance if he gives his life to Christ, lives a righteous life, refrain from actively committing sin. Man does not have a eternal assurance, that is reserved for Christ our judge alone. What we do not want is false assurance.
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