Is it right for a Christian to date or marry a non-Christian?


Clarify Share Report Asked July 01 2013 Mini Anonymous (via GotQuestions)

Community answers are sorted based on votes. The higher the vote, the further up an answer is.

Shea S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries
For a Christian, dating a non-Christian is unwise, and marrying one is not an option. Second Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) tells us not to be "unequally yoked" with an unbeliever. The imagery is of two in...

July 01 2013 7 responses Vote Up Share Report

9aa51e4b447252291b959c696fb96539 400x400 Jeremiah Kaaya Pastor at Springs of Power Church, Teacher by professional
On this particular topic, I will not only discuss, let me share with you an experience what my in-law went through. But before I do that, let me also put it clear as a Christian, it is wrong, uncalled for, for a Christian to be married to a non-Christian, by so doing, you would not be helping the non-Christian, nor will you be helping yourself, you are only in reverse gear.

My sister in-law got "married" to or to say the least, eloped with a muslim while she was a Catholic. At that time, she felt no much hindrance to go on and "marry" or engage with a muslim. They moved on and even had children, three of them. Along the way, this my sister in-law met Jesus and accepted Him to be her LORD and Savior. Still the man did not bother much at this stage. However, as time went on, the man started showing signs of discomfort with his "wife" being Born Again Christian. She was told by many other fellow Christians that that man was not God's choice for a husband for her. She insisted she would pray and change him, on the contrary, the man started demanding that she converts to Islam because the man wanted to make Hajj to Mecca and he would not do that with a woman who is an infidel. To cut the long story short, with our help, she did not convert and they eventually had to separate and another man would take her because she is now free. She stays with me now at my home and trying to regenerate so she becomes the Christian that God wants her to be. 

If you are a Christian and you chose to engage with a muslim in marriage, believe me you, the chances of you winning him/her to God are very minimal compared to the ones he/she has to win you to themselves. This is because they will view you as having already compromised yourself by accepting their advances. In our country, muslim men have a concerted campaign to get themselves Born Again girls because by doing so, they believe they are denting the Christian faith.

I encourage both Christian girls and boys to wait on the LORD, He will surely get them the right partners, Christian partners.

God bless

October 30 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Jennifer Henkel Bible/History Middle School Teacher, Lover of the OT!
NO! You are flirting with disaster, and asking for a lifetime of heart break. I speak from experience. DON'T DO IT.

March 20 2014 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Chris Sanchez
This is gonna be a quick answer, 2 Corinthians 6 says to not be unequally yoked for was does light have in fellowship with darkness? I promise you, if you date or marry a non believer, you will start to compromise with beliefs and your standards and will eventually you and te non believer with both be in sin and that relationship will not last, the best thing to do is for that person to fall in love with God so that in the relationship they put god first and then you, because if god isn't there main focus they have no standard on how to love you with Gods love.

November 19 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

If we are still single and a Christian, the Bible tells (do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what does righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness). 2Cor.6:14. But if you are a Christian who is already married to an unbeliever, than the Bible tells us to stay married.(1Cor.7:12-13)., blessings to you...... :)

June 11 2014 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Stringio Vincent Mercado Supporter Skeptic turned believer, Catholic, father of 3
In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority. In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.138 This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.

Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple's obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband." It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

October 03 2013 2 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Crystal Marcus
Well when my mom met my dad, he was a non believer.Even though his family had some what of a catholic background, he wasn't one to take part in worship or read the Bible. However, he never stopped my mom from spiritually educating us (the kids) or taking us to church every Sunday. It was years after in an annual summer crusade hosted by our local that dad finally decided to attend and later on was baptized. We had all been constantly praying that one day that would happen. It's been over 15 years now since he became a follower of Christ and he's also instrumental in funding for some of the Church's benevolent activities. :) so I believe that a christian can marry or date a non believer once they stand firm in their beliefs and once the non-believer doesn't try to disrespect your beliefs.

March 20 2014 2 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini James Kraft 74 year old retired pipeline worker
The problem is a lot of people say they are Christians but are not. They believe they are saved because of how they live and what they do, but have never done the will of His Father in heaven. John 6:40 and John 6:29.

It pays to ask the hard questions before you commit yourself. Lots of people believe lots of things but have never done the will of HIs Father in heaven. John 6:40 and John 6:29.

When my wife and I got married 61 years ago we were both carnal Christians. I was 18 and she was 17. We had dated all through high school. 

We have been faithful to each other for 61 years and have grown tremendously in the faith through reading the bible together. We preach the gospel to others so they can have the free gift of eternal life by faith alone. Romans 4:5. Romans 6:23.

So even though we never knew whether either one of us was a true believer, we found out later we both were. I knew i was saved but did not know if she was or not. 

Through a small bible believing church we went to I found out she had been a true believer also. 

The bond of knowing our eternal destiny is heaven, and the love for each other, we have experienced the greatest union on earth. The love of a man and women that can not be broken. 

To say that unbelievers can not have the same kind of marriage is wrong. They can. Even thought they have never done the will of His Father in heaven, John 6:40, they can still have a great marriage. And to say all believers are going to have a great marriage is also wrong. We live in a fallen world. 

First John 1:8. None of us are perfect yet except in the spirit. Ephesians 1:13-14.We still have our old nature and can easily walk in the flesh and not in the Spirit. 

Last I knew the divorce rate among professing Christians is about the same as unbelievers. I say professing Christians because we can not know if another person has accepted the free gift of eternal life or they are trying to earn their way to heaven by keeping the law and doing good works, neither of which ever saved anyone. Galatians 2:21.

Other wise you cannot know.

May 05 2021 1 response Vote Up Share Report

Mini Sheron Y. Mitchell
But if it does happen marriage between a believer and unbeliever (and it will) Paul's guidelines and the Apostle Paul specifically states "I say this (I, not the Lord)": in Romans Chapter 7:12-16 will hopefully encourage those who have and one or the other spouse has accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior while in an unbelieving marriage.

Romans 7:12-16
12. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15. But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace, 16. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? 

Saving meaning living by example and your faith showing them your belief in Jesus The Christ.

March 20 2014 3 responses Vote Up Share Report

Data David Huffman
The scriptural reasons for not doing it have already been written about. Ant there has been good personal testimony. 

When it is asked, "Is it wrong", we can definitely establish that it is not God's perfect will for marriage to have faith and non faith divisions. Marriage is by definition of purpose a unifying act between the couple and God

However, is it sin? Well it is a form of rebellion against the instruction of God in scripture, so I would say yes it is sin. 

Often, the believer may think that they will be able to influence the unbeliever to convert. If you are that person, my question to you is, "Are you the Holy Spirit"? If not, you may be in for some harsh times. Of course, God may indeed work through you but disobedience in this issue hurts the sincerity of your own testimony. A chink in your spiritual armor.

There is also the scenario where both are unbelieving and come to Christ separately after being married. 

So, since Jesus paid the penalty for sin, it is not a sin unto death and it may not mean certain divorce but it is much more likely. Paul's instruction in this matter is about ought's. It is what we ought to do. Having said that there are probably millions of violations of that instruction that God is constantly remedying.

I am just pointing out that while scripture is always right, it also recognizes that we are still subject to failure even if redeemed. Should we have done things the right way, the scriptural way? Yes. If we didn't, can we still live a God honoring life? Yes, with repentance and with forgiveness. Life doesn't usually end with a mistake. We move forward.

Marriage presents difficult circumstances that can be emotional and/or physical. Having a unity of faith limits potential spiritual conflict which in turn aids in coping with the emotional and physical aspects in life's trials. Those who know God's ways, resist evil and do good toward their marriage partner. Without God's statutes there is no restraint to inappropriate behavior. There is also inconsistency in raising children. But once it has happened the focus must be to bring the unbeliever into the fold and not shun both of the partners.

As Christian parents we are to raise up our children in the ways of the Lord. Some will follow, others will test the water so to speak. But Paul, or more accurately God is teaching the ideal of purity to a group before it is tainted by outside influences. In many situations the outside influence was pagan practice. Much of 1 Corinthians was about pagan practice being incorporated into Christian assembly so Paul's warnings are a needed correction both in Corinth and in today's church. No wonder there are an estimated 35,000 denominations under the banner of Christian. An old adage says, "too many cooks spoil the broth". I would suggest that too many denominations spoil the gospel message.

February 11 2018 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

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