I was a faithful family man, deacon at my church, a community leader, and had a good name and reputation both professionally and publicly. I returned home from my shift one day to meet my wife in the driveway of the home we had just built just to have her say, "Pack your things and get out. I do not want to be married to you any longer.” She had me served with divorce papers the very next day. This was 10 years ago, and I have never recovered. I had sever mental and psychological issues because of this and have lived alone, isolated from the world and took a vow of celibacy, to which I have held. I have kept my faith, hope, and beliefs and I have forgiven all those who have caused me pain. I’ve applied for many jobs and have not been hired, and I’m living in an RV. Am I being punished? What is wrong and how do I go about making it right? It seems, and I say “seems,” as my own parlance, that everyone who has wronged me has never missed a step and have gotten on with life. God seems farther away from me now than any other time in my life and I am running out of strength to combat it.
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I am sorry to hear of the distress that you have gone through in your Christian walk. The root cause of suffering is the fact that God gave us free will starting with Adam and Eve who as you know blew everything by their disobedience. This free will God gave to us as an act of love. Our choice to love Him would have meant little if we were created robots programmed to love Him Jesus told to take up our cross and follow Him and that the world would hates us if we are His disciples (Matt 10:36-38). Jesus suffered, was scoffed by Pharisees and finally brutally murdered for the redemption of our sins The apostles certainly suffered especially Paul. This earthly life though tough is temporary and we are encouraged to focus on the Heavenly, eternal world to come. This Heavenly world will have no end. Romans 8:28 says that everything works for good for those following the Lord and are called according to His purposes. When we get to be with the Lord what we have endured will make sense. In the meantime fellowship in a bible based church. Satan would love nothing better to separate you from your Christian walk.
When calamity strikes our life we can certainly think that God is punishing us. It is human nature to think that God will always bless Christians for having faith in Jesus and nothing bad should happen to them. We think we should be prosperous and not suffer. But hear these truths from the bible. 1. God does not punish any Christian When we honestly confess our sins and seek to repent with all our heart God is pleased. When we refuse to repent, then God will "discipline" us to get us to change our ways, as any good Father would do. 2. We live in an evil, wicked, corrupt and decaying world The presence and power of sin and evil spiritual forces in this world, leads to chaos, calamity, disaster and destruction. Everyone is suffering in many different ways because of their own sin, the sin committed against them, and the general effects of sin everywhere. 3. Heaven is our home, we are strangers on earth When we think this world is all there is, and we have lost nearly everything, it can lead to despair. The reward for our faithfulness is in heaven. Anyone who voluntarily gives up [or forcefully is taken away] families, marriages, homes, businesses, lands, etc. But remains faithful to Jesus and his gospel, will receive a hundred times as much in this life or in the eternal life to come. 4. God has a plan for us in the midst of our suffering God saved us so that his kingdom would come and his will would be done on earth. That is our mission. When we study the bible, pray, worship in a local church, serve in the church and community, and share the gospel and our personal testimony, we are doing the will of God. When our eyes are focused on opportunities to bring justice, righteousness, love and faithfulness into the world around us, we are advancing the kingdom of God. 5. God comforts us through the suffering of others I encourage you to read the book of Job to understand suffering. Read the book of Jeremiah to see how people chosen by God can suffer much for his kingdom. When we suffer for doing wrong it is justice. When we suffer for doing right, and keep our faith in God, we will be rewarded for eternity. 6. Don't endure suffering alone Engage in fellowship in a local church where people genuinely love each other. Look for support groups that listen to each other's stories and will comfort and encourage one another. God will likely use your experiences of suffering to help someone else who is really struggling and desperately needs your help. 7. Trust in God's promises God promises to meet all your needs. Ask, seek and find God's solutions to your everyday problems. Ask other trusted Christians to pray for your needs. Pray with adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication, believing that God will answer according to his good, pleasing and perfect will for you. Remember these ultimate truths Jesus has a mansion waiting for you in heaven. Jesus will give you a new body, like his glorious eternal body. Jesus has prepared an eternal inheritance for you on the new earth he will create, and you get to enjoy that reward for all eternity in the presence of God. So KEEP THE FAITH and DO WHAT GOD IS CALLING YOU TO DO.
First, never give up. Next, you must forgive those who have hurt you. 1 Peter 2:19-23, "For this is commendable, if because of conscience toward God one endures grief, suffering wrongfully." For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God. For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: 'Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth.' Who when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously." Isaiah 43:2 " When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall flame scorch you." You must invite God into your heart and walk and talk with Him constantly! Psalm 62:5, "My soul, wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him." Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to Me, I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know." God is not finished with you yet, or He would have called you home! There is something that only you can do for Him! 1 John 4,6,16,17 " Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgement; because as He is, so are we in this world." Exercise your boldness, you are a strong survivor. Live and serve!
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