I had a child with my non-believer fiance. We broke up since, but she is willing to get married now. Do I marry her to give my daughter a family unit with a Christian dad and upbringing even if it would mean we're unequally yoked?
2 Corinthians 6:14
ESV - 14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
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If you are asking this question, then you are not sure. Do you love this woman? Can you love this woman knowing she is an unbeliever? Using 2 Corinthians 6:14 then you should not marry. But ….. What kind of believer are you? Your faith might be called into question from your past behavior. Have you asked God's forgiveness for your past? Have you prayed about this? The Bible states that if you lie with a woman, you become one. Gen 2:24 Matthew 19:5 Mark 10:8 etc. It says nothing about the beliefs of each person in those references. Do you honor and love God? In the dated vernacular, "What would Jesus do?" We must own up to our past and take responsibility for our actions. All you can do is what your conscience and your love of Jesus tells you to do. Asking advice on this site might help you make your decision, but whatever you do, do it in earnest. Keep your heart squarely on God. Now for the advice. In my opinion, marry this woman. You made this child together and you have to take responsibility for doing so. The child needs a Christian influence in her life. Be that person. If you do, it might bring your wife to experience the love of Jesus in her life in the process; a win-win situation. Keeping Jesus at the center of your life will spread His love to those around you. I wish you well and pray that all will be made clear.
I understand the reference to Paul's advice to Christians about not being unequally yoked with unbelievers, but I would say that the presence of the questioner's child with the unbelieving woman, and the need for the child to have a stable family unit, put the situation in a new light, and make it more comparable to Paul's guidance in 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 to those who are already married when they become Christians, even though their spouse is still an unbeliever. In that case, Paul puts the prerogative to leave the relationship not with the Christian, but with the unbelieving spouse. However, in the situation cited in the question, it is the unbelieving partner who now desires to be married. In that case, I would say that the questioner should try to persuade the woman to become a Christian before marrying her, but, even if she does not, he should still marry her for the sake of their child. As Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:14-16, "[T]he unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy....Husband, your wife might be saved because of you."
I struggle with this now. My wife of six years is an unbeliever and we have a beautiful four year old little girl. She encourages me to go to church and to take our daughter but does not go herself. I pray my wife will become a believer but for now am comforted by Corinthians where it says a non-believing spouse is consecrated by the believing spouse (Im paraphrasing of course).
It is apparent that you are aware of what it means to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever! And with that being said, I would not encourage you to go against your conscience or the Word of God! The Holy Spirit just dropped this word in my spirit, "Can two walk together; except they be agreed?" Amos 3:3 I encourage you to do right by your child! However, just because you had a child with this woman doesn't mean that it's the will of God for your life.There's no guarantee that the mother of your child will receive Jesus as her Savior! Let me say this as well, it's about the purpose of God for your life! Does she fit into the plan that He has ordained for you? Please go to God and ask Him what you should do! You should not make a decision based on other people's misguided opinions! If you make a decision based on the opinions of others you will ultimately suffer the consequences in the end! Hear from the Holy Spirit, and then you will know exactly what to do! Always seek God first! Please don't make the mistake that so many of us have made by going to Him as a last resort! I am speaking from experience, and have suffered tremendously from listening to the voices of people whom I trusted and missed what God had for me. However, the Lord is merciful, and I am believing Him for another chance at marriage! But you do not have to go through unnecessarily, if you choose to do it God's way! I pray that all will go well for you!
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