How to avoid being used by others while maintaining love?

Jesus said He came to serve and not be served. As a follower of Christ, I am confused sometimes. Should I help my colleague? It’s her job but she passed it on to me. If I do, she’ll keep asking me to do. If I don’t, will it mean I lost a testimony? 

John 15:13

ESV - 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Clarify Share Report Asked June 16 2018 Mini Anonymous

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Mini Tim Maas Retired Quality Assurance Specialist with the U.S. Army
Jesus advised His followers to not only be as innocent as doves, but also as wise as serpents (Matthew 10:16). Neighborly love does not require Christians to allow others to repeatedly and knowingly take advantage of them. (Also, such ongoing enabling is not in the genuine best interests of the other person, either.) Christians are to learn from such experiences, and use them to acquire discretion. (As the old (non-Biblical) saying goes, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.")

That does not necessarily mean that you have to be hostile to the other person (although you may have to be repeatedly firm). Is there anything you can show or teach the other person that is related to the reason why they are always turning to you (such as a skill that you possess that the other person does not)? Do you know of other resources (including training) that might be available to the person to assist them, and of which the person is unaware? Such courses of action might ease your concerns about possibly behaving in a way that would be inconsistent with your Christian testimony. You could also cite the volume of your own workload (especially in relation to your available time) as a valid constraining factor that would allow you to decline their requests without feeling that you were being unfair to them.

June 18 2018 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

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