If a man pretends to get saved, and then gets baptized, and later admits to his new wife that he is really an unbeliever, is that an acceptable reason for the Christian wife to file for divorce?


Clarify Share Report Asked October 05 2016 Open uri20161105 7817 9f0fkl Hollie McCollister

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Closeup Jennifer Rothnie Supporter Housewife, Artist, Perpetually Curious
Deception by a spouse is not treated as grounds for divorce in scripture. There is an excellent answer on eBible here about grounds for divorce in general: https://ebible.com/questions/2999-what-are-biblical-grounds-for-divorce

From it: "When discussing what the Bible says about divorce, it is important to keep in mind the words of Malachi 2:16, "I hate divorce, says the Lord God." Whatever grounds the Bible possibly gives for divorce, that does not mean God desires a divorce to occur in those instances. Rather than asking "is ______ a grounds for divorce," often the question should be "is _______ grounds for forgiveness, restoration, and/or counseling?"

That the unbeliever used deception to get the match is unfortunate, as most Christians will not willingly enter a marriage where they know they would be unequally yoked. However, once married, if the two discover they are unequally yoked, God does not give permission for them to divorce for that reason alone.

Scripture does give some detail as to how to deal with the case of a believer married to an unbeliever"

"If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. I Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?" I Cor 7:13-16

So then, if he wishes to stay in the marriage, the wife is to not initiate the divorce. If he wishes to leave, she is to let him for the sake of peace. The wife is not to force him out by action such as nagging or bitterness, or abandonment of her position as wife, either, such as emotionally withdrawing or withholding marital relations.

The only 'allowed' reasons given for divorce in scripture are the unbelieving spouse who wishes to exit the marriage, and the sexual unfaithfulness of a spouse.

Yet in cases where the believer is married to an unbeliever, scripture gives the hope that the unbelieving spouse might yet come to Christ and be saved. There is no life situation so intimate as a marriage, and as such no greater opportunity to share the gospel in day to day living!

It is nonetheless a tragic scenario. The wife loses out on a partner in Christ, does not have a spiritual leader of the home, and is hurt by the deceit the man has brought into the marriage. Yet her testimony through this great trial might be the brightest light for the Lord the man ever sees. 

Things that can help ease the burden are encouragement from other Christians, prayer, casting cares on God, seeking a mentor or prayer partner, and otherwise seeking the spiritual support needed to be joyful, forgiving, and mindful as a spouse.


October 06 2016 2 responses Vote Up Share Report

Emilio 1992 Emo Tenorio Shomer
In my humble opinion it appears your marriage covenant has been broken, as it was based on deception by one of the parties. The TRUE character of the person you entered into this contract has been exposed and any level of trust going forward is damaged by willful fraud. (Luke 12:2)

Consider what other of his character pearls might be currently hidden from your view? 
(Proverbs 26:11; John 7:24)

As a new wife do you think it wise to bring new children on to this stage?
If you DO stick around for act two or three with such a morally defective person? 
Don't make the mistake of self deception, somehow that you can fix him and then all will be wonderful. (1 Corinthians 15:33; Mark 13:12)

I submit there are many more unknown factors in the question here, contact your pastor or a professional, someone who has more information and you can trust to provide neutral third party assistance for both of you and or any children?

If your husband will not go for any reason or excuse, no half measures, contact legal representation and start considering your legal options now. Once you have chosen the legal path, do not stop. When the reality of losing some assets finally strikes him there will be many surface changes and sweet deceptions!

Have courage my sister lady. Much to ponder. Stay in prayer and contact with those who love and care. (1 Corinthians 16:13)

In the Lord's freedom and strength to do what is very hard....warrior on

October 06 2016 3 responses Vote Up Share Report

Cross   lion Kevin Honeycutt Servant of Jesus Christ
Jesus gives that answer in Matthew 19:8-9 for adultery only, "He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

October 06 2016 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

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