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Should a wife protect her husband from flirtatious women or flirty relatives?

Should a wife do what she can to keep her husband away from flirty relatives or defend him from flirtation in other ways? 

Clarify Share Report Asked September 02 2016 Mini Anonymous

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Closeup Jennifer Rothnie Supporter Housewife, Artist, Perpetually Curious
In general, a wife should not feel it is her duty to protect, nor try to protect, her husband from temptation. This is for several reasons [Not all of these are automatic, but are potential dangers]:

#1) It switches the roles of the home. Rather than submitting to her husband as spiritual leader of the home, the wife can easily start treating him as an inferior or a child. While it is a parent's duty to train their children (Prov 22:6), it is a spouse's duty to support the other. While support certainly includes not making things tougher or enabling an addiction; so one shouldn't get her husband a stripper for his birthday or take him to a topless beach; support is not training, disciplining, or stopping him from any action the wife deems worrisome.

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything."
Eph 5:22-24

#2) It puts her focus on the spiritual growth of her husband, not herself. She might become so focused on the speck in his eye, that he flirts a little or 'might be tempted to cheat', that she started ignoring the logs in her own. She might excuse the gossip in herself of telling friends her husband's problems or excuse the distrust or anger she feels as justified.

We see something similar in scripture where Simon was upset with Jesus for letting a 'sinful woman' touch him (Luke 7:36-50). Yet Jesus responded with a parable that showed it was Simon's heart that was in sin.

Ironically, a woman is more likely to engage in an 'emotional affair', giving another man the candor and trust that she should be giving her husband, if she starts obsessing over the failings of her husband.

#3) The wife can easily turn into a 'nagging wife'. Rather than give her husband the affirmation he needs as a man and husband, she might be more focused on the negatives of what he is doing wrong and what he might do wrong. Of the woman who is easily provoked, nagging and contentious, Proverbs states that is is better for a man to live in a desert (Prov 21:19) and that her nagging is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof. (Prov 19:13) While a woman might think 'I am just doing this for his best! Or 'I am just trying to keep him from sin,' she has ceased to be a refuge to her husband or support and instead has become a slow poison. Over time this can change her heart from one of admiration towards her husband to one of contempt. 

"It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and easily provoked woman" Prov 21:19

#4) It can become an obsession that interferes with relationships between family and friends. Rather than enjoying time with her husband and time with family and friends, the woman can become constantly on the 'lookout'. Instead of building positive relationships, every joke or touch can become suspect and viewed through a lens of cynical mistrust.

#6) The relationship becomes about potentialities, not actualities. He 'might' be tempted, he 'might' cheat, he 'might' leave me becomes the worrying mantra, rather than placing any anxieties before God (Phil 4:6) and being present in the relationship. Fear and accusation replace commaderie.

So if it is not her job to protect him from being tempted, what can a wife do?

A wife can:

- Pray daily for continued growth and strength in the marital relationship
- Talk to her husband about any concerns over unwise situations (Such as, if he wants to go alone on a business-trip with a female co-worker, or the family is going to share a cabin with another family in close-quarters for a week, etc.
- Check in with her husband every so often and ask if his needs in the relationship are being met
- Be a continual support for her husband both emotionally and physically (Psa 45:11, I Cor 7:5, Ecc 4:9-12)

September 03 2016 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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Mini Eugene Martin
I think a woman should not have to protect.him because if he truly is dedicated, loves her and living according to GOD's preaching a of how a mm should cherish his wife he will repel any advances by any woman outside the relationship whether relative or otherwise. He does it!

September 03 2016 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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Mini Ken Love
Well now - that is a complicated question!

First of all, the husband needs to be aware of what is going on. He needs to shun the appearance of something inappropriate (1 Thess. 5:22). 

Secondly, it must be realized that friendships with those of the opposite sex are normal. They form in school, work, church, and other settings. This is true of both man and woman.

Thirdly, he should pay attention to his wife, who might - and probably is - more sensitive/discerning of another woman's intentions. He must make sure his wife is Number One in his family. He might indicate this by having his arm around her, bragging about her in front of other women, etc. 

There is also the possibility that the other woman/women involved don't realize their actions appear to be flirtatious. The wife might talk to them privately about the appearance of evil.

September 03 2016 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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Optimized 1   afolabi Olusegun Engr. AFOLABI
PROTECTION against temptation and evil deed is a necessary condition for spiritual development. The wife is the closest person to the man, and if it so determined that the man is occupied with difficult and challenging desires, which is seen by the wife, then coming out to help is a condition necessary for the family and the Christian life. Genesis 2:23-24, The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man. That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 

Flirtatious is Lust and a sinful act, Flirting or coquetry is a social and sometimes sexual activity involving verbal or written communication as well as body language by one person to another, either to suggest interest in a deeper relationship with the other person, or when done playfully, for amusement and lust. These can involve non-verbal signs, such as an exchange of glances, hand-touching, and hair-touching; or verbal signs, such as chatting, giving flattering comments, and exchanging telephone numbers in order to initiate further contact. 

Lust is an emotion or feeling of intense desire in the body, which can take any form such as the lust for sex, lust for expensive objects (extravagance) or the lust for power. This is regarded as sinful, since it involves a desire outside personal ability, and can only be achieved by depriving other person of his own possession. 1 Corinthians 6:13, You say, “Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 

Lust is a temptation and an evil that overcomes many of us. It is born of Satan and the flesh. Every single one of us is subject to lust. If we are to overcome it, we must be strong in the Lord. 2 Timothy 2:22, Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

September 05 2016 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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