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As parents, we cannot imagine a more traumatic experience than the death of a child. All parents naturally expect their children to outlive them. Such a loss is an extraordinary, out-of-order event...
As a parent that has lost a child, the worst thing a person can do is say "It's God's will", or quote Romans 8:28. These verses will become true to the Christian parent in time as they deal with the grief of losing a child. Having a parent outlive their child is not the natural order of things. For me, I found comfort in knowing that my child has in a right relationship with the Lord, and that I would be reunited with them in His heavenly Kingdom. The verses that still stay in my heart are John 11:25-26. If you or someone you know has experienced the loss of a child, please read this passage and meditate upon these verses. In doing so I was able to feel the love of God and His presence. I was able to attain the comfort promised in His Word.
Having lost one son at the age of 42, and three grandchildren, it is still loss. What I came to understand is that they were not mine to begin with. After some time I could say, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Only the Lord can help us through such things. I have to admit that each one tore my heart out. The pain is still there, but through it all it drew me closer to the Lord and to my wife. Even in seeming tradgedy good can come. At least one of the emt's got saved on the way to the hospital by the witness of my son and daughter-in-law when their 6 year old daughter passed away. We made no decision when we were going to be born, and we make no decision when we are going to die. We are in His hand from beginning to end. Who can know the mind of the Lord?
I also, have met with the loss of a child. In my case, he was 14 and died of an angiosarcoma in 1989. When he was first diagnosed, I was sure God hated me and I cried like I never cried before that day. A cousin, who is so strong in her faith, came to the hospital and ministered to me. She confidently responded " God does not hate you. We live in a fallen world and that is why Bryan is sick, but Jesus wants to walk with you every step of the way if you will let Him." I let Him and He was there with me every step of the way. I felt His close presence and He richly gave me the peace that passeth all understanding. Early in my grieving, a dear Christian sister pointed me to Psalms 139: 13 - 16. To the grieving parent it helps with healing- reading God's Holy work of fearfully and wonderfully knitting us together in our mother's womb. And it answers the question of an early death with: " all the days of my llfe were written before there was yet one."
In general, all Christian parents love their children just as God our Father in Heaven loves us, his children (John 1: 12-13; 3: 16). It is a human nature for Christian parents to be grieved when experiencing death of a child (as I was), but don't we think that God just wants to telling us his children, how grieved our Father is when we disobey and forsake Him as David did? (2 Samuel 12: 1-24). What ever happen to the Christian parents, God's plan for us is higher than our plan (Isaiah 55: 8-9; Jeremiah 29: 11-14) and death of a child is just a matter of Heaven is taking care of him/her., as David said: "But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."(2 Samuel 12: 23).
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