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As a parent that has lost a child, the worst thing a person can do is say "It's God's will", or quote Romans 8:28. These verses will become true to the Christian parent in time as they deal with the grief of losing a child. Having a parent outlive their child is not the natural order of things. For me, I found comfort in knowing that my child has in a right relationship with the Lord, and that I would be reunited with them in His heavenly Kingdom. The verses that still stay in my heart are John 11:25-26. If you or someone you know has experienced the loss of a child, please read this passage and meditate upon these verses. In doing so I was able to feel the love of God and His presence. I was able to attain the comfort promised in His Word.
Having lost one son at the age of 42, and three grandchildren, it is still loss. What I came to understand is that they were not mine to begin with. After some time I could say, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Only the Lord can help us through such things. I have to admit that each one tore my heart out. The pain is still there, but through it all it drew me closer to the Lord and to my wife. Even in seeming tradgedy good can come. At least one of the emt's got saved on the way to the hospital by the witness of my son and daughter-in-law when their 6 year old daughter passed away. We made no decision when we were going to be born, and we make no decision when we are going to die. We are in His hand from beginning to end. Who can know the mind of the Lord?
I also, have met with the loss of a child. In my case, he was 14 and died of an angiosarcoma in 1989. When he was first diagnosed, I was sure God hated me and I cried like I never cried before that day. A cousin, who is so strong in her faith, came to the hospital and ministered to me. She confidently responded " God does not hate you. We live in a fallen world and that is why Bryan is sick, but Jesus wants to walk with you every step of the way if you will let Him." I let Him and He was there with me every step of the way. I felt His close presence and He richly gave me the peace that passeth all understanding. Early in my grieving, a dear Christian sister pointed me to Psalms 139: 13 - 16. To the grieving parent it helps with healing- reading God's Holy work of fearfully and wonderfully knitting us together in our mother's womb. And it answers the question of an early death with: " all the days of my llfe were written before there was yet one."
In general, all Christian parents love their children just as God our Father in Heaven loves us, his children (John 1: 12-13; 3: 16). It is a human nature for Christian parents to be grieved when experiencing death of a child (as I was), but don't we think that God just wants to telling us his children, how grieved our Father is when we disobey and forsake Him as David did? (2 Samuel 12: 1-24). What ever happen to the Christian parents, God's plan for us is higher than our plan (Isaiah 55: 8-9; Jeremiah 29: 11-14) and death of a child is just a matter of Heaven is taking care of him/her., as David said: "But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."(2 Samuel 12: 23).
I am not going into detail but I lost my baby daughter in 2003 and I asked a nurse if I could possibly speak with the hospital chaplain. At the time I was struggling to find an answer as to why God would put my wife and I through such a test after we were originally told that we would never be able to conceive. We had resigned ourselves to that fact and so you can imagine our joy when we found out that we were expecting. You can also imagine our despair when she died. I will never forget the response from the chaplain when I asked him why God would do this. He said "This is a message from the Lord telling you that you can have children, you will have children but not now, not yet." I know that we all have difficulty sometimes in finding the sense or meaning in the events that surround us, but do rest assured that God has everything in hand and, whilst things happen that may seem as though you are being punished, God is moulding and shaping you to prepare you for the rest of your life. "What about me?" I hear you ask... well I am 52 now with a lovely daughter who is married to a wonderful man. No grandchildren yet but I am always hopeful. God bless you all and may the peace of Jesus go with you.
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