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Would like to suggest a 3 step program. 1) Humble yourself. Think of everyone you admire. Are they humble? This is a very hard step if you are not there. Yield to the other person. Die to yourself. 2) Pray for the other person. Pray that God will pour his blessings upon the other person. And God will bless you. When you humbled yourself with Thy will be done, then you will not be asking God for anything for yourself. So, every unexpected blessings you receive will be a result of asking God to bless the other person. 3) Commune with God as much as you can, every way you can. Here are a few examples. Breath prayers (praying continuously). Talking to him all the time. Asking Him what should I do next? Ask "how did I do" when you complete a task. (You will find yourself doing more than you would normally.) When you see trash, pick it up. Humble yourself. You always have an audience of One. Remember, anytime you feel irritated, annoyed or angry, it is all about you. At the first hint of irritation, go to our Lord in prayer. (from Dallas Willard.) Good Luck and God Bless you on your journey of life. Hope this is helpful to you. This is helpful to me. Andy
Handling conflict in a marriage/relationship: Let me begin by reminding us that Ephesians 4:25 & 26 has some great advice: “speak truth” and “in your anger do not sin.” With that in mind, if you are in a relationship, make an agreement that when one gets angry, they will say to the other, “I am angry” in a nice and straightforward fashion. Agree that when those words are spoken that the situation is taken seriously, and that you will both join into a focused conversation about the problem. Next, state your problem as well as your solution. Remove assumptions about how you think the other feels. Be completely honest. Also, if it is difficult for you to speak calmly, try walking away long enough to write down what you want to say and then use your written words to help you stay focused on the solution so that you avoid snowballing and exacerbating the situation (let the other know why you are walking away). If you want an apology, ask for an apology. If you want some specific chore done, make it clear exactly what you want. Don’t threaten to leave or abandon the other. In addition, may I suggest reading two very short stories in the book, Right to the Soul. One is called “Happy to be Stuck with You…Really?” and the other is “Powerful Words.” There is unmistakable wisdom in those stories. Lastly, before you speak, pray “God, place a guard over my mouth” (Psalm 141:3) and “God, make Your desires mine.” These are powerful protectors against having your conflict turn into a slaying with one’s tongue.
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