Does the Bible advocate arranged marriages?


Clarify Share Report Asked July 01 2013 Mini Anonymous (via GotQuestions)

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Shea S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries
An "arranged" marriage is one that is brought about by consent of the parents of the bride and groom, often without regard to the wishes of the couple to be married. The Bible does not say that par...

July 01 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Open uri20150122 31549 1ruiwsl Jyotish Mishra Saved by grace through faith in JESUS CHRIST.
I agree that there are only two instances of arranged marriage mentioned in the Bible. If we accept it God also arranged the marriage of Adam and Eve.

The independent marriage of Esau brought a lot of problems for Rebekah as we read in Genesis 27:46. And because of this Isaac and Rebekah sent Jacob to his uncle's place to get a wife for himself.

While it is true that believers should marry believers for creation and preservation of Godly seed as we read in Malachi2:15 yet the marrying partners should have perfect peace in the matter including their believing parents so that they would get blessings from the Lord as Jacob got the blessings from the Lord. And our Saviour Lord Jesus came through the line of Jacob.

Whereas we see the descendants of Easu the Edomites and Amalakites subsequently gave a lot problems to the children of Israel so much so that the inspired writer in Romans 9:13 informs us that God hates Esau.

Therefore my considered view is that both the partners and their parents should be in one mind and one spirit as far as marriage is concerned because in God's eyes this is an irreversible contract which will dissolve only in case of the death of either of the partners.

March 07 2015 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Data Danny Hickman Supporter Believer in The Gospel Of Jesus Christ
No! "The Bible" doesn't advocate arranged marriages. What would be different if only "saved" people got married? Answer: Bad marriages and divorces would only be between saved people. 

(I don't know why that would be hard for anyone to come right out and say; it didn't hurt a bit. I didn't even feel it). 

"The Bible" doesn't advocate, warn, advise, etc. There are around 40 different scribes whom God used to compose the words of holy scripture. To say 'The Bible says,' when referring to a specific cultural storyline is to misapply the aim of the scriptures. The bible isn't to be looked at in the context of this question. The question almost alleges that there's a consensus in scripture about how marriages are to happen. There isn't. 

A better way to ask this would be to ask if God prefers parents to choose mates for their children. ("The Bible" doesn't think, feel, etc, the way a person does). God does advocate, warn and advise. Does He prefer parents to choose husbands and wives for their children?I don't think He does. I believe God wants us to use our free will to act as moral agents to make choices, whether the choices are good ones or not, and to come to terms with how our choices affect our life development. I believe God accepted the fact, on the day that Adam and Eve sinned, that we were going to make a heap of mistakes. 

According to Solomon, (not "The Bible") "The lot is cast into the lap, but its decision is from the Lord." (Prov 16:33) That's sort of what picking a mate is like: a roll of the dice. 

I believe God wants us to make good on our bad situations (snake eyes). I believe God wants a man or woman, born in the custody of cruel slave owners, for example, to learn to "Come to [Him] all who labor and are heavy laden, and [He] will give you rest. Take [His] yoke upon you and learn from [Him], for [He] is gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls" (Mt 11:28,29). 

A "bad marriage" is a walk in the park compared to some hardships, about which we can sit and wonder why God doesn't rescue us. 

"The Bible" is not to be looked at as a volume of regulations. (That's exactly how many people, if not most, view the bible). If the bible is the word of God, (God's enormous parable of truth and overview of Life; that's my take, God is the greatest parabolist) then to say that "The Bible" advocates a thing is to imply that God is the Advocate. If "The Bible" advocates war, slavery, or polygamy then it could be said that God argues for these causes, that He defends and supports them. (I've witnessed here on this site God being thrown under the bus over the atrocities I named). Even "christians" seem to think that if He didn't agree with those customs He would have put a stop to them. They misunderstand the "enormous parable." 

My question is, "Why would God prefer my mom and dad to pick a woman for me?" It's not like they can predict the future or anything. They were good parents, but I preferred to pick my own bicycle, why would I want them to choose my kid's mother?

It's not too hard to understand why self-centered people might want to pick some of their family members, but I don't think God "advocates" for one self-centered person over another. 

God hand picked two kings for Israel: Saul and David. I don't see where He picked a husband or wife in a clear cut way. I think He "arranged" for Faye and me to meet. I think we did the rest. He knew the end at the beginning (Isaiah 46:10), but I think He allowed us to choose. It's only a marriage for a short period of time. It ends here in this life (Mt 22:30). The church (the bride of Christ) is hand picked by the Father for the Son, and it's for eternity. He says "All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me, I will by no means cast out" (Jn 6:37). Praise the Lord!

2 days ago 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

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