What are valid reasons for breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend?


Clarify Share Report Asked July 01 2013 Mini Anonymous (via GotQuestions)

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Me Lynda Hickman Homemaker, plumber, carpenter, all around gearhead
Why break up w/ a boyfriend or girlfriend?

The first thought that comes to mind is what Paul said in 2 Cor 6 about being "unequally yoked" together with an unbeliever.
But aside from that, there is another reason that often causes strife, even between believers.

Many years ago, as a young single woman, I met several young men who though they confessed Christ as their Savior, did not share my desire for a more intimate walk with the LORD. Fortunately, I didn't marry any of them!

To have a relationship with someone, a "born again" someone, who does not share your hunger & thirst for Christ can be like wearing shoes that don't quite fit. They may look good, be in style, the perfect color, but sooner or later you will feel the rub and you'll have to either take them off or cover all the blisters with band aids. 

After many years of happy marriage, a marriage that was almost like a continuous courtship in the sense that he made every effort to win my heart every day, but always with his true focus on Christ, I would offer this bit of advice to anyone, young or not so young, if you are seeking a spouse, look beyond the obvious. 

Certainly the person must be a born again Christian, but look for the those things that will make the fit perfect.
Do they love His Word? Do they enjoy reading the bible & bible study?
Is this person a good prayer partner, willing to devote time & energy to seeking the LORD in prayer?
Do they enjoy going to church & want to be a partner in a ministry that is working to evangelize the lost & is edifying the believers in the congregation?

If your heart leans toward personal evangelism, does this person share that desire?
Perhaps the LORD has spoken to you about missionary work of some sort, then the person who has your attention must share that or things will get very difficult.

The bottom line is that there is more to being "unequally yoked" than just being a Christian.
I can't imagine being married for as long as I was to someone who did not share my devotion to Christ.
There would have been many uncomfortable days & nights. And I suspect that we all have known someone who married & thought that they could "change" that person....it doesn't often work out very well!

Since the original Q was "anonymous" I don't know if you are a guy or a girl, but I will direct my final thoughts to all women....

The husband is to be the spiritual leader of the home. He must fulfill that role which requires diligence & a deep abiding love for Christ & His Word.
He must be willing to lead his wife & their children into a deeper understanding of Scripture, a closer walk with Christ & be an influence that encourages a love of the Word of GOD.

To marry a man who does not demonstrate those traits is to be "unequally yoked" & the rub will come. You will find that you are praying constantly for your husband to step up & be the man of GOD that he should be.
Don't fall into that trap.

When a woman is searching for a husband, instead of looking for the more tangible things that appeal to the senses, look for those things that demonstrate his potential as the spiritual leader of the family.

And when a man is searching for a wife, he should be looking for the virtuous wife of Prov. 31.

June 07 2015 1 response Vote Up Share Report

Shea S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries
This is a difficult question to answer, no matter what was said or done. The first thing to remember is the advice Jesus gave Peter about forgiving someone who has sinned against him: "Then Peter c...

July 01 2013 1 response Vote Up Share Report

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