Is it biblical for a woman to marry a man with whom she had an affair before each one got a divorce?


Clarify Share Report Asked April 22 2014 Mini Anonymous

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David goliath victory hg clr Jim Tumlinson One beggar leading others to where the bread is
It seems you are looking for a reason to marry the person you were having an affair with. If you have not yet divorced you need to break up the relationship with this person and reconcile with your spouse. If you are already divorced then you are where you are. (Sorry the Pastor in me came out)
Now the teacher; it does not make a difference if you were married before and remarry. I know what the bible teaches and that was for the Jews under the law at that time because the Jews would want to divorce their wife and get a new one like changing cars. So Jesus made it more difficult for this to happen. If you read you will also see that Moses did not want to give permission to get divorced but the Jews pushed him so he gave permission.

Under grace all your sins have been forgiven as long as you are born again. So what that means is you can remarry. Some will tell you that you cannot because you will be sinning. My question is what about the other sins you or they commit? In other words your sins were forgiven before you were born and that includes adultery. You will probably have to go to counseling to help reconcile all this in your heart so you don't go through your life condemned. Romans 8 says there is no condemnation for those in Christ. It doesn't say there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ and have not remarried. So you have no need to feel or be condemned if you are born again. 2 Cor 5:21 says you are the righteousness of God in Christ which means all the time and for every born again Christian to include the ones that remarry.

Please do not allow anyone to guilt you into divorcing again based on Old Covenant rules. All born again believers keep the Old Covenant rules all the time.

Pastor again; please cultivate this relationship like you should have the last and enjoy your freedom in Christ.

For more Grace go to

April 24 2014 2 responses Vote Up Share Report

Open uri20131016 19143 11nnwnd jamie zavala
No you are not free to divorce and remarry. If you leave your spouse you are to either remain single or be reconciled to your spouse, if you marry anyone else while your covenant spouse is alive you and they will be in adultery.

July 03 2014 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Open uri20120113 17347 9mq5kn Nick Koogler
When asking the question is it Biblical we have to look for Biblical principles and how they relate to your question.

Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery (Luke 16:18 ESV)

Adultery is a relational sin most often committed and referenced as sexual sin. 
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God 
(1 Corinthians 6:18 - 6:19 ESV)

When dealing with this type of sin it would wrong to that any form of sexual sin or any form of adultery is biblically ok. 

Gods grace and mercy can forgive any person for sins committed in the past, the present, and the future but we must not, as Christians, condone any sin on the basis of Grace. 

If a person is in an adulteress relationship and wants to know if the bible says it is ok then the answer is, certainly NOT. 

If a person was in an adulteress affair and ended up marrying that person before they knew Christ, is that ok? The answer is: Gods grace has covered all your past sin. You need to forgive yourself for past wrongs just as God had forgiven you. 

Lastly, if you are a Christian:
Divorce should be a last option. Scripture is clear God does not like divorce, although it is sometimes necessary.
If you are divorced because of infidelity is it ok to marry that person. The answer is probably no. It's not ok. This answer would be more based in principle than a direct command. But the scripture above does make the point that if you marry someone who is divorced you commit adultery. Also scripturally speaking it would be a continuation of what you know to be sin. That is clearly against biblical principle. Paul says "what then are we to continue to sin so that grace may abound, CERTAINLY NOT." Relationally speaking it's not a good idea to pursue a relationship based in sin. 

I hope this helps. This is a very complicated question when you break it down. 
No matter what, I would advise you to seek biblical counsel such as a your pastor or church leadership.

April 23 2014 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Gary Wofford
Luke 16:18 makes it clear that both parties are committing adultery in this situation. 

The Bible develops a concept of a one flesh relationship throughout the Old and New Testament. When a couple is joined together, a one flesh relationship is formed and cannot be broken short of death of a spouse. The exception clause in Matthew is found nowhere else in Scripture and is not found in the earliest manuscripts. If this is true, then the exception clause in Matthew is not valid. This is a whole other discussion. This does not pertain to your situation.

So both parties have violated the one flesh relationship that was formed when the original marriages were consummated. That makes all parties involved adulterers and in desperate need of a Savior. A repentant heart can bring about forgiveness. Adultery is an abhorrent event, but it is not the unpardonable sin. It too can be forgiven by our marvelous Savior, who died for us to provide a way for salvation and for us to receive eternal life with God. A repentant heart implies a hatred for the sin and commitment to avoid it in the future.

Grace is the overwhelming message of the New Testament. Just as grace is extended to us from a forgiving God, we are to extend this type of grace to others around us. Adultery is forgivable and we should never be guilty of condemning others who have done this or judging them, even in our own minds. It is up to God to judge and deal with the sin. This was the whole purpose of Christ coming to this earth and taking the blame for our sins. 

So if you or someone you know is contemplating the situation described, they should flee from that series of events. If you or someone you know has already done this, they need forgiveness, and adultery can be forgiven, just like other sins. Have the attitude toward them that Christ would and extend grace in an increasing quantity for such a horrid set of events. You don't need to condone their actions, but avoid condemnation of the individual. There is no condemnation in Christ (for the saved). The second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as yourself. Do so.

Is this an opportunity to present the Gospel and the need for forgiveness to an unsaved acquaintance? If so, take the opportunity to do so, and remember that it is God's goodness and love that brings us to repentance, not the opposite. Show that love toward others.

February 03 2019 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Dale's black and white Dale Casselman Christian/Circus Clown
It is really just adding more fuel to the fire. So thank goodness that Jesus did pay for all of our sins in full.

In my opinion, you really should be asking a different question from this one, though. You should be asking yourself if you truly are a child of God, because these are the actions and schemes of the carnal man.

I could entertain this with all sorts of promises of security, that we find in Christ.
But, if you are not in Christ, and He is not in you, those promises do not apply.
I am referring to the security one has in Christ. This is not the end of the world.
There is salvation.

Or you could already be saved, but it really doesn't show.

I wanna add something extremely important here. The sin is not the problem. In my opinion, the problem is your heart. If your heart isn't right, then this is only the first in a long line of this sort of question that you will be asking.

The thing about sin is that it is like a merry-go-round. It is great at first (hence the "merry"), but it continues to come back around, over and over again to remind you of the cost of that sin. It may come in the form of broken relationships, illness, low self esteem, guilt, forgiveness, and even bitterness, and always more sin. Needing to always look back over your soldier.. hmmm.. sounds a bit like Mrs Lot.

But, righteousness is a straight line. It never leaves you looking back, and you don't, because your circumcised heart is completely focused on the goal in the future. That goal is your groom, Jesus. If you are saved, nothing else matters. 

So, I would not marry anyone until, your relationship with Christ is secured.

You know, the problem with sin? It has a habit of making one feel like they have to play catch up, trying to fix that first original sin. The thing is, we cannot fix sin by something we do. It just piles more sin on. We start telling lies to cover up. 

Only Christ can, and already did fix it. Can, in the sense that He changes you.
Already did, in the sense that if you are born of God, you have been set free from the law of sin, because all of your sins for all time have been paid for, and forgotten. Your new heart and renewed mind will have you hating sin.

Sure, you can try and keep on sinning, knowing it is already paid. But, you won't be able to enjoy it, because you have the mind of Christ, and only love righteousness, if you are truly born of God.

There is now no condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1

November 25 2020 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

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