I've a family of my own. Even after marrying my husband, we lived with my parents to save cost. My dad passed away 5 years ago. And it was only recently that we moved out to our new home because of my unbelieving mother. She has too many conflicts with my husband and often called him 'stupid' or 'useless' in front of my son. She even accused my husband of stealing her jewelry. Because we live just a few floors above her apartment, she has moved in to live with us. She fears ghosts that disturb her often and so she couldn't sleep alone in her own house. Our house is small with only 2 and a half rooms. We took the master bedroom while she stays in the 2nd room. The problem is when our son reaches 7 years old, we plan to let him have his own room (currently he sleeps with us). How do I tell my mom we need space? It'll be unloving. She is a sensitive person. When asked to changed the channel on the tv, she cried saying I forced her to live on her own. How to be loving yet have our own space?
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Family matters are never an easy fix, there are so many variables. Understanding that she is your mother and that you love her dearly there have been times and will be times you will have to make the hard call. You must do what is necessary to keep your family healthy. Otherwise you too could end up without a husband due to divorce. You have a son who needs one mom not two, which if he has not experienced that yet he will. Your husband is your God given priority in life and you need to do whatever it is to cultivate that relationship. Here are some hard truths that you may want to explain to your mom other than those above; Your mom has gotten this far in life, she can go further with you close by but not in your house. Help her see how your dad was her priority and that your husband is yours. Reassure her that you love her just the same. God wants you to take care of your husband and son first and foremost before others. Here's reality It is going to hurt both you and your mom You are going to feel like crap It is going to be bad for a while You are going to find freedom in your home You are going to have peace in your home You are going to have less stress in your home You are going to be able to enjoy your husband and son You are going to be able to enjoy your mom again You are going to see Gods mercy and grace prevail in this situation Sad to say, if you don't make the hard call now then when more critical times come you would not have been prepared and life will be more difficult, I only speak from personal experience.
You cannot put your mother out. She is under your roof for a reason. "If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed." (Timothy 5:16) When you open up your house to your mother your house became her house as well. That place is now a ministry. "Giving no offence in any thing, that the ministry be not blamed:" (2 Corinthians 6:3-10) Do not allow God to be blame for anything. Allow Jesus to get glory from this. Who knows? The Lord maybe using this so she can get saved. Its all about saving lives. Or is your life or your son having his own room more important then saving a life?
You should keep praying to god to strengthen her and you to tell her that you needed that space and that you are not leaving her heart are alone you will always be there for her in the spirit and naturally but just not in the same space. Be patient the time will come right now allow her to heal from her husband death she is just not ready to move on yet not everybody heals at the same time.
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