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The purpose of sexual relations between a husband and wife, in addition to being the means of procreation, is to express love, unconditional acceptance, and to provide the platform for a couple to rejoice in each other. The act of making love is an act of unification; it is affirmation that the two have truly become one (Ephesians 5:31) However, this cannot happen in the God-ordained celebration of marital unity, if there are unresolved conflicts. Women are generally superior to men in the Emotional Exchange that accompanies sexual relations. Men, on the other hand, tend to experience the act of making love more closely to the physical sensation--and less so in that emotional and spiritual exchange that is the hallmark of healthy, all around sexual happiness in marriage. For the man, intimacy is often on the basis of "physical needs." For the woman, it is more often an emotional need. Emotional needs cannot be met when anger in the relationship creates a stumbling block. Therefore, when a wife feels she must withhold intimacy, it is a sure sign that true communication has broken down to some degree. What is needed is an open, loving, prayer-directed conversation as a first step. If a satisfactory resolution cannot be arrived at, then counseling might well be necessary. But always, these procedures must be prayer-directed. Never go into any kind of marital maintenance without taking it to the Lord in prayer!
Sexual relations is also a sign and form of covenant making. When making covenant the two agree on a few things; 1. I get all your weaknesses and you get all my strengths 2 Everything of mine is yours and all of yours is mine 3. I will do whatever I need to in order to help you These are only a few. If we look at our relationship with God we can see that no matter what He still blesses us and takes care of us. I did not say that to make any woman feel guilty, however I do subscribe to Vin Smiths idea of communication and counseling If our pride or the enemy can separate a man and women in the bed then it/he will move into other areas of our lives and thus end in divorce. Marriage is full of forgiveness, otherwise there will be divorce. Many couples are afraid of talking about their feelings, it is important to push through this fear and hash it out. It is difficult to start unless we are angry and then we blurt it out in an emotional rage not getting anywhere nor even heard. If a woman feels betrayed she can harness her emotions and talk with her spouse about the occurrence. She may find our he was not aware of the problem, on the other hand if he was aware this is a good opportunity to talk through it without extreme emotions being in the mix and creating yet another set of problems. If it cannot be resolved then put down the pride and go get counseling. Go to marriage seminars, but you must fight for your marriage and spouse because the enemy is fighting to destroy the covenant and unity that you two have together.
Intimacy in a marriage is based on emotional feelings from the wife. And physical feelings from the husband. As the years go by, Intimacy gets harder and harder. Prayer needs to be utilized more especially in today's age of social media and the Internet being on hand. Couples are finding it harder and harder to stay married let alone obtain and maintain sexual intimacy. True intimacy in its rawest form is letting go of all ways and being transparent with one another. The two become one flesh. How is that to happen unless the two agree? We must first obtain friendship know our marriages. We must enjoy being around each other and enjoy each other's company. Obtain unison with one another. It's not right to with hold intimacy from one another, that only makes things worse. In this generation at this time there are so many other avenues that it's also a very dangerous game to play with your marriage. However, true intimacy is not obtained unless two walk together and agree.
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