What should a Christian wife do if her husband leaves her and refuses to reconcile?


Clarify Share Report Asked November 17 2013 Mini Anonymous

Community answers are sorted based on votes. The higher the vote, the further up an answer is.

Seth3 Seth Freeman
It would depend upon the circumstances under which the spouse left the Christian wife. 

1. If the husband left the wife because the wife committed adultery, then the husband has the freedom to get a divorce. While reconciliation is always something we should hope and pray for, adultery is such a serious violation of the marriage covenant that it is the only thing capable of severing it (Matthew 5:32, 19:9)

2. If the husband is not a Christian, if he is the one that decides to leave and does not want to reconcile than the Christian wife is not sinning when the unbelieving spouse forces the divorce. Not only that, because the marriage was unequally yoked, the Christian wife is free to remarry (I Corinthians 7:15)

3. If the husband is a Christian, and he has left for any reason other than adultery, then not only is getting a divorce wrong, but so is remarriage (until adultery has occurred). If the Christian wife wants to reconcile, but the Christian husband will not and files for divorce, then there's nothing the wife can do about it. She can't make him reconcile. However, unless the divorce has occurred specifically for adultery, they are still married in the eyes of God and she is not free to remarry.

November 18 2013 4 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini UDUAK Udom
The bible has given clear instructions about such a situation: 
1 Corinthians 7:10-15

And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband:and let not the husband put away his wife.
 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord:If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband:else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases:but God hath called us to peace.

From the last verse above, if it is the unbelieving spouse that walks out of the marriage (and refuses to be reconciled), then a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases.

November 18 2013 1 response Vote Up Share Report

9aa51e4b447252291b959c696fb96539 400x400 Jeremiah Kaaya Pastor at Springs of Power Church, Teacher by professional
If Jesus forgave (Matthew 26:28), (Luke 23:34), and we are following after Him, then it is incumbent on us to do just that. Forgiveness applies in all areas of life of a Christian, marriage inclusive. Without the element of forgiving each other, then Christianity is nonexistent. Christianity is based on the fact that it is only out of forgiveness that Jesus and the cross do strongly apply to us and we are therefore counted worthy.

However, in light of the question above, the answer should be viewed in two dimensions; 1) if both the husband and the wife are Born Again Pentecostal Christians 2) If the Wife is a Born Again Pentecostal Christian and the husband is not or the reverse.

If both the husband and the wife are Born Again Pentecostal Christians.
In this particular case, it is somehow complicated according to the scriptures (Matthew 5:32), (Matthew 19:9). However there is still a way. In a scenario that the husband has chosen to walk away and can’t reconcile whatsoever means there is no chance of getting him back except by prayer. But in real terms, I would have one issue to consider before I give a final advice; the age of the forsaken wife. If she is above fifty years old, I would not advise her to remarry, by then she has reached the age of grandmother and can comfortably play the role of watching over the young. If she is below fifty years old, she can remarry. However, this also should be dependent on the fact of how long they have taken apart. It should also be in a sense that all possible avenues have been exhausted and there is no hope of any reconciliation. This would convincingly prove, beyond any doubt that it is not of her own choice that such has taken place. In my own opinion, she can remarry so as to avoid the possible temptation of her involving in acts that would be immoral and create a bad precedence for the young. However, after she has remarried, she has no more choice of going back to her former husband even if he afterwards makes up his mind to reconcile with her. Her commitment now should entirely be directed to the husband she would currently be married to. As concerns the former husband, I think he has no more freedom whatsoever to remarry if he chose to continue as a Christian.

If the Wife is a Born Again Pentecostal Christian and the husband is not.
In this particular case, if the husband walked away, the wife would be at much freedom to remarry because in such a case, there is no recognizable matrimonial commitment. She can only continue in her commitment to him if he is willing to carry on with her and he would not jeopardize her Christianity. But in a scenario that he wishes to separate with her, she is at freedom to remarry but also depending on other factors that may come into play. Otherwise, she is not bound to him anymore (1Corinthians 7:15-16). The opposite is true of the husband. 

However, Jesus the CHRIST left us the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us (John 14:26). Let us always inquire of Him issues that give us trouble, He will surely communicate. He is alive and all we seek of Him, He is there for us. Some issues may not be intellectually answered, but if we seek the Holy Spirit, He will surely lead and guide us on such controversial issues.

November 19 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Open uri20131016 19143 11nnwnd jamie zavala
You can separate for a time, get yourself into Christian counseling, not divorce recovery. If you are a covenant marriage then you either need to remain single or be reconciled, the so called exception clauses are not freedom to remarry, i am in this situation, i have found no clause that was proven in the Bible to say we are free to remarry, people misinterpret it to be what they want it to be, just keep praying, God can restore anything, on facebook there is a group called covenant marriage standers, if this is covenant marriage for both of you request to join it.God bless, its hard but God will make beauty from the ashes

December 11 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Jadah Pleiter
If the husband is an unbeliever 1 Corinthians 7 says if the unbeliever wants to stay then do not divorce them but in verse 15 it says 'But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.' Implicitly implying that it is ok to divorce in this case. If the husband is a believer and has left and committed adultery then divorce is also permissible. Gods heart though is that they be reconciled even if there has been adultery.

November 18 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Gregory Tomlinson Minister, husband,father,grandfather,vet., college graduate
There are two forms of adultery, spiritual and physical. Marriage is not to be entered lightly as society would represent. It is a promise and an oath taken before God in many cases, but do not think He does not see. It is an oath none the less, a swear a testimony a promise. It is not unforgivable neither is it a quick out.

We like many things, have complicated this issue with our sometimes foolish behavior. A believer can be bound by their oath, pay close attention here and do not think it is a cure all.

If adultery is involved divorce is an option, spiritual adultery is being unequally yoked or partnered with a non-believer if you knew before hand it gets complicated and is incident specific in most cases you have made your bed and will have to endure it. This does not mean you cannot separate from an abusive person! By all means flee NOW!
Spiritual and physical adultery frees you to remarry. Consider carefully your new choice as God will not be Mocked or tempted(provoked) everyone who rejects His wisdom will be overcome by there own devices. 

Yet He is kind and merciful to the humble if you need a miracle,(a special intervention, life is complicated and messy and we are pitiful). He knows your situation, do not give up, give in to Him. We try to make righteous decisions, but our sinful nature gets in the way. He knows my friend He knows you better than you know yourself.

LISTEN TO ME NOW be sincere, be truthful, brutally truthful about your choices if you judge yourself He will intervene and make the impossible possible, He is your loving Father that gave His only begotten Son for you. That makes you precious beyond words, those who have met Him will tell you the same, there is no one like Him.
He changed my life, where there was no hope He created hope. He is the love of my life, I thought there is no one for me, not me. And He said and it is written eye hath not seen and ear has not heard nor has entered into the heart of man the depth of His love is beyond my words.(but it is revealed thru His spirit)

Only they that He has revealed Himself to, can understand,(and will testify) that He will give you the desires of your heart,(I don't mean the things you lust after) but every good and perfect gift, that can only come down from the Father of light.
 I think back and remember saying there is no one for me. Yet I prayed and fasted begged his help and thirty two years later 4 sons and 7 grand children I can say I am blessed.

I have seen betrayal and heart ache and He healed it and blessed it and that which was evil became a blessing. Remember this my friend you will know a tree by the fruit it bares. Sometimes it takes waiting a season, nothing is spontaneous and patience is a result of enduring tribulation. No one that waits on Him is disappointed.

November 20 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Add your Answer

All answers are REVIEWED and MODERATED.
Please ensure your answer MEETS all our guidelines.

What makes a good answer? ▼

A good answer provides new insight and perspective. Here are guidelines to help facilitate a meaningful learning experience for everyone.

  1. Adhere to the eBible Statement of Faith.
  2. Your answer should be complete and stand-alone.
  3. Include supporting arguments, and scripture references if possible. Seek to answer the "why".
  4. Adhere to a proper tone and spirit of love and understanding.
  5. For more info see The Complete Guide to eBible
  1. 4000 characters remaining