Should a spouse physically leave their spouse to be near their child?
Hello! My husband has a 6-year-old girl in TX. She is safe, surrounded by his family and has a great mom. We all get along, which is amazing. We moved a couple years ago to Florida for my work. We openly talked about it and I never imposed anything. He agreed to move and we had the little one each summer. Fast forward to now, he made the decision to move back to TX last December to be next to his child. When we were in Texas he would have her every other weekend. He plans to move this September. I informed him his decision was abrupt but I was not against moving back. I am the only one with a stable income and it will put us in a bad spot. I feel like he made a rushed decision and I was excluded from the process. He also told me that he is firm about his decision and his child is his priority. I discovered last month that I have some health issues and the medical team is still digging into it. I told him that I needed more time because I cannot afford to lose my job and my insurance. He was present during one of my appointments so he knows how important it is, but still decided to move back to TX. I feel alone in this entire process. I gave him my blessings to go back, but he's giving me pushback for me staying. He wants both of us in Texas but he cannot support me financially. I have been the one doing it the past three years. I told him that my plan is to extend my stay in Florida for 6-8months to give me time to finish what I need to do medically and to give me time to find a proper job in TX for a smoother transition. He understands but doesn’t like the solution. He respects my point of view and I respect his, but I really feel left aside as a spouse. Any advice?
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Wanda Lopez
Supporter
Sorry that you are experiencing such high levels of stress in relationship and health.
Genesis 2:24: "A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh," shows the relevance of the marital relationship. It implies marriage as the family foundation taking precedence over other relationships, including the couple's children and spouses' relatives. That's the reason why the marriage union has a direct blessing from God Himself.
Even when you are following scripture, as in Colossians 3:18 ("Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord") in trying to go along with your husband's emotional needs, he's not following Colossians 3:19: "Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them". His unilateral decision is detrimental to you as if he doesn't care for your health and job situation.
The bible implies that the marital bond is in fact beneficial to the children, hence its relevance of the spouse over the children. The problem here is that the bible didn't consider the separations created by divorce, as it is in your case. You need to evaluate if your husband is not honoring you with the love expected from a husband as God stated in His Word.
Since your spouse is literally abandoning you to pursue his emotional need with his child, the new testament addresses your situation of a spouse abandonment in 1 Corinthians 7:15: "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." Since your husband is challenging God's Word on marital relationships (thus acting as an "unbeliever"), you are not "bound" to remain in the marriage. This is not encouragement to divorce him, unless you feel unloved ad truly abandoned after you have exhausted all forms or balance and reconciliation to remain married.
Hope that you seek counseling to manage your stress for both circumstances. God bless you.
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