Tim Maas Retired Quality Assurance Specialist with the U.S. Army

I would say that humans always have free will, which is an essential component of them being responsible for the consequences of their actions and decisions.

I also think that it would be safe to assert that there have been many loving, successful marriages between partners where one or both of them may have had a negative initial or first impression of the other, or did not feel a particular attraction to the other. 

However, as time went by, and as each learned more about the other, attributes and qualities came to light that compensated for whatever aspects of their partner caused them not to feel an initial attraction, or even showed that first impression (or their reaction to that impression) to be incorrect or superficial.

I would also say that God is capable of ordering events in a way that indicates His positive involvement in a relationship. (That was certainly true for me personally in the time leading up to my marriage.)

As I said, humans are always free to break off a relationship for any reason. However, based on the events and actions that have preceded that dissolution, they should also be prepared to deal with whatever "fallout" (emotional, financial, legal, or otherwise) that may result from it.

December 17 2020 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Grant Abbott Child of Father, Follower of Son, Student of Spirit

God will never force us to do anything. He created us with freewill and he will always honour that freedom. However, God has both a "perfect will" and a "permissive will". In some things, God has a specific plan for our lives and he will guide and direct us to make certain choices. In other things, we are free to choose based on the values and criteria that are important to us.

When it comes to a marriage partner, God has a perfect will and a permissive will. God knows each of us intimately and he has a specific person in mind who would make the perfect marriage partner. If we seek God's perfect will with all our hearts, then he will reveal that person to us. God also has a permissive will, which allows us to search for a marriage partner that we are attracted to (physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually) and would be in love with. However, there are limits to God's permissive will. He has clearly revealed in the bible that he does not want Christians marrying non-Christians, because it will cause great harm to our faith relationship with God. So God will put barriers in the way of us pursuing that kind of relationship.

Countries have many different marriage customs. In the Western World, many countries are very individualistic when it comes to marriage, People make their own choices, based on the attractions they feel for another person. This includes marriages that cross racial, religious, class and other groupings of society. In the Eastern World, many countries are very community and family based, with strong homogeneity, that glues the culture together. In some of these countries, the criteria for selecting a marriage partner are very clearly understood. The marriages may even be arranged by the parents.

In the bible, we see an example of a marriage partner selection based on only one important criteria, "faith in God". Abraham did not want his son Isaac, to marry one of the Canaanite women who were their neighbours, because they didn't believe in God. So Abraham sent his servant back to his homeland of Harran (in Babylon), to find a marriage partner from his own culture, from people who had faith in God. The servant prays to God for a miracle, so he would know the person that God had chosen as his perfect will for Isaac's wife. God performs the miracle and when the servant testifies to what God has done, Rebekkah, the woman God had chosen, agrees to return to Canaan with the servant, to become Isaac's wife. You can read all about their love story in Genesis chapter 24.

God has a perfect marriage partner for you. I encourage you to seek his will with all your heart and he will answer your prayer. When you have a close personal relationship with God, you will hear the voice of the Holy Spirit guiding and directing you, so you don't have to worry that you will make the wrong choice.

December 22 2020 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report