I'm new to my walk in faith again. For over a year I've been praying for my son. He has a wife that is not a Christian; she actually worships the pagan way. My son was raised as a Christian and I truly believe he still is down deep. He is saved and baptised. I've prayed for God to remove her from his life because she is extremely abusive and destroys the house. It's a very toxic marriage and he has wanted out many times, but never leaves. Is it right for me to ask her to be removed? I've also prayed for her to change, but there is no sign of that at all.
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Please read the following passage carefully about believers being married to unbelievers (1 Corinthians 7:10-17). “To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife. To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.” Do you know what God’s will is for your son’s marriage? Does God want to use your son to save his wife? Or Does God want the unbelieving wife to leave the marriage so your son is not unequally yoked anymore. Your son can separate from his wife because of the abuse but he cannot divorce her. If she wants the divorce he can let her go. Then he can remarrry another believer without committing adultery. Are you praying for your son’s faith to come alive so he has an intimate personal relationship with God? Are you praying to discern what God’s will is? If we pray in accordance with God’s will, then we will receive what we have asked for. These are the things to pray about before asking God to break up the marriage.
The Bible says in multiple places (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31) that a man is to leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife in a "one-flesh" relationship that becomes the chief priority of each partner. The course of their relationship is to be decided by them alone. The Bible recognizes (1 Corinthians 7:15) the possibility that an unbelieving spouse may leave a marriage in response to the faith of his or her partner, but that is solely the unbelieving spouse's decision. The role of a believing spouse, as well as of the believing spouse's family, should be to seek to preserve and strengthen the marriage to the greatest extent possible, and certainly not to actively attempt to undermine it, or (in my opinion) even to pray for its dissolution. It is difficult for me to see how an attitude such as that described by the questioner toward his or her son's spouse could fail to reflect itself in routine interactions with either the son or his spouse, to the detriment of all the relationships involved among the three. As difficult or even humanly impossible as it might seem to the questioner, he or she should ask himself or herself, "How would I act toward my son's spouse if I loved her in the same way that I love my son?", and then act that way as a witness of the individual's Christian faith, while asking for God's grace and help in doing so, as well as continuing to pray for God in His own time and way to heal whatever perceived problems may exist in their marriage, and also to increase their faith (or to lead her to Christ if she is not already a Christian). The only exception (in my opinion) with regard to refraining from active outside intervention would be if actual physical abuse of any children that the couple might have were occurring.
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