I have prayed for years about this and yet I just can’t seem to treat this person lovingly.
ESV - 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
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We can't necessarily make our emotions behave in a particular manner, but we can control our actions. One of my favorite Christian commentators, C. S. Lewis, said that, in a case such as the questioner describes, individuals should ask themselves, "How would I behave or act toward this person if I DID love him or her?", and then act that way. Over time, they will find that their feelings will follow their actions. And, in the interim, they will be doing all that God requires by those actions. Another way for Christians is always to be mindful of the repeated manner in which God has forgiven them for Christ's sake, despite their many personal sins and shortcomings, and then treat other individuals' faults in the same manner. (In fact, Jesus even went so far as to say that God's forgiveness of us is conditioned upon our forgiveness of others (Matthew 6:14-15).) I would suggest reading the chapter on forgiveness in Lewis' short book Mere Christianity.
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