How can I rebuild trust in my marriage which is on the rocks?


Clarify Share Report Asked July 19 2020 Mini Anonymous

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Mini Grant Abbott Child of Father, Follower of Son, Student of Spirit
To restore trust or rebuild any relationship that is fractured or broken, we can use the model that God has given us to restore our relationship with Him. We were all separated from God, divorced, forsaken because we indulged our sinful desires and broke faith with Him.

Then we heard some good news about how much God loves us. That is "step one." Reflect on all the attributes of your spouse that birthed love in your relationship. Begin by affirming to your spouse (in a natural way) how each of these things built the love that you share. Your spouse needs to hear good news.

Then we heard God say, "Acknowledge your sin and rebellion," and, "Agree with me how you have forsaken the relationship". Your spouse needs to hear what you have "thought, said and done" that has broken trust in your relationship. And you need to ask for forgiveness. It doesn't matter what your spouse has done to break trust in your marriage, this is about you, because you can't make your spouse acknowledge or change anything.

Next God tells us to "Repent" to change our ways. To turn around and begin a new relationship with God. To forsake the things that displeased God (the sin) and start doing the things that please him. Your spouse needs to know that you are willing to change. Actions speak louder than words. Demonstrate your commitment to your marriage and your love by doing what you know is most important to your spouse. That will mean the most. Don't try to fix all your failings at once, a shotgun approach just blows up in your face.

After we have been reconciled to God, a new relationship has begun, and God expects us to walk with Him every day, in an intimate, personal relationship. That means you make your spouse a top priority (after God) every day, doing together those things that are important to your marriage, to your relationship, to your fun and adventure together. 

Rebuilding trust takes time, so give it time for a complete restoration. Pray for your marriage every day, asking the Holy Spirit to guide and direct the process, to give you the words to speak and the actions that will deliver your love into your spouse's heart.

If your spouse doesn't respond to your efforts to reconcile, be patient. Remember, that God has been chasing us for years. We kept rejecting Him until finally the gospel broke through and we experienced the love of God. Just remain faithful to your spouse, keep witnessing by your words and deeds how important your marriage is to you. I believe God will do his part to win your spouse over and complete the reconciliation.

July 25 2020 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

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