How do we honor an abusive parent?


Clarify Share Report Asked July 01 2013 Mini Anonymous (via GotQuestions)

For follow-up discussion and general commentary on the topic. Comments are sorted chronologically.

1370020554 Perry Valton

The hardest thing is not the easiest thing to do. Our parents also should respect us. Not because they are our parents that they should take advantage of our feelings and our emotions. For years now, I've been battling with my mother for years simply because of her attitude towards me. She never accepts when she is wrong. Now I'm getting married in a few months time, I don't even know if I truly want her to be there at the ceremony because of her behaviour.

August 02 2014 Report

Open uri20140825 19807 1cxzw7t Jean Sivley

Like it says you can honor from afar. Prayers for you.

August 25 2014 Report

Mini Bette Carlson

I can speak only for my step-daughters who had an abusive Mother. Their Dad waited for the kids to grow to leave as he was afraid he wouldn't get custody. This would have left them alone to fight the abuse. The court did give the younger kids to him when he finally left. The older two were able to chose where they went. His oldest daughter tried to get her Mom to go to counseling with her, she so wanted a relationship with her. But she found her Mother "wouldn't remember" the hurtful things she had done. She could not admit her abuse of her children. However the daughter wanted her at her wedding. Her Mother insisted "only if she would set in the front seat" reserved for parents. Her Dad told her to go ahead and let her, he would walk her down the aisle and sit behind her with myself. It wasn't worth leaving her out. She did make problems and somehow found we were meeting to open gifts the next day. She showed uninvited and when she started berating her daughter, her new Mother-in-Law invited her to leave. It hurt but she was present and that was the daughter's choice. One of the other girls did not invite her because of what happened at her sister's wedding and the other eloped. This woman died quite young and all alone. She was not found for several days. I think the older made the wise choice. She honored her Mother but never saw her again till her funeral. She sent cards, pictures of her kids, but I have always been Grandma to them. Such a sad ending!

August 25 2014 Report

Stringio Wayne Murphy

I grew up in an abuse home my mom and dad were both alcoholics my mom beat me up with a bat through me down staires and scared the life out of me. At the age of five I was taken away and put into foster care. So from the age if 5 to 23 I hated my mom. In 1994 I met The Lord and I ask Him in my life what a change of events going from the darkness to the light. Hosea 6:1-3) it says come let us return to The Lord for He has torn us, but He will heal us. He has wounded us but He will bandage us. The Lord spoke to me and said I needed to forgive my mom I told Him he was out of his mind The Lord kept perusing me I fanaly broke. he said go and forgive and your mom I said okay but it will make no diffrent you see my will was not Gods will . I went home and asked her she said why are you asking me when I should be asking you. She broke and she fell to here knees she stopped smoking drinking and told the rest of my family that they needed to listed to The Lord working through me

August 25 2014 Report

Data Donna Crayne

I would like to partake in this conversation from a little bit different point a view. In my case things were a little bit different. I blocked out a lot of the abuse until I was an adult. My father died when I was 8 years old. But you see I was born into a Satanic Cult. My Father was the High Priest of this cult. The abuse we suffered was very terrible I guess my mind had to block it out for me to survive. Our Mother lived until I was about 20 years old, But still My Sister nor i had any abusive memories. She did not wish to be in a nursing home so my Sister and I took turns taking care of her. She spent 6 months with my Sister and 6 months with me Until she died. It was after her death I began having memories of the abuse it started in Nightmares. I sought the help of a Mental Help Facility. But with both Parents dead the only thing My Sister and I had was the memories we shared that matched each others Memories. The More the Memories came the worse our anger and pain grew. Soon we both had much anger and upset and Our Parents that we shared many years. But Once I felt the calling of my heart by Jesus Christ Over time I was able to give my upset and anger to him. I can say i tried to focus on what Good things they did for me. Such as they gave me life, they gave me a Wonderful Loving Sister who is also my best friend. and they Gave us determination to never grow up to be the way they were. Sometimes you have to dig deep inside the heart and start small to forgive such sin!

November 06 2014 Report

Data Donna Crayne

This question was one i struggled with all my 54 years of life upon this earth. Everything from was i a bad child? To why did they hate me so much? I carried so much pain my whole life. A year ago last January when god placed in my life a wonderful Minister who helped me turn my whole past over to Jesus. I felt that pain leave me. Both Parents have died so no Questions had answers. But it certainly is possible to forgive your Parents for their wrong doings once you give God control. My heart goes out to all Children who went through this. God bless each one God sure blessed me. I understood their sin they had no control over it because Satan was the one in control over them. Forgive the person but hate the sin. Amen

March 06 2015 Report

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