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This is not a difficult question to answer. God says a Christian marriage is between a husband and his wife. And it does bypass God's will for human kind! We must be very careful to not let situational ethics govern biblical principles. God has ordained that husband and wife, a married couple, be the bearers of children within that covenantal bond of marriage. Whether or not the physical act of adultery has occurred or not does not excuse the fact that the sperm of another man has entered the body of a woman to whom he is not married.
I think this is a tough question. I can understand the desire for a woman to carry a child of her own, there is just something unique and special about a child that is your own. And in the case of a sperm donor, the mother carrying it would be responsible for 50% of the DNA, not to mention carrying the child for 9 months which creates its own unique bond. However, as a foster parent, I wish couples that couldn't have children naturally on their own would consider that as an opportunity to love a child that has already been born that is in need. There are infants born every day here in America to mothers that either don't want to care for them, are incapable of caring for them, or would be a danger to them and therefore should not be allowed to care for them. There is such a need that while I'm personally on the fence about the ethics of a sperm donor, I am certainly sure that the best choice for parents that cannot have children naturally is to adopt a child that is already in need.
What is donating sperm to an unknown someone other than rejecting your responsibility as a father, receiving money for it and committing adultery in your heart while producing the sperm sample? I see this as sin on top of sin. I echo Seth's comments about being a Foster parent. There are countless children born to parents who are unfit or unwilling to take on that responsibility. These children are the ones who can most benefit from couples who God has not given the ability to reproduce. What a great act of loving your neighbor adoption is. Should we throw these children aside and obtain by unnatural means something we can call our own just because technology allows us? There is a lot of "grey" surrounding this issue no doubt.
Michael Houdman has some very good perspective and great questions to ask. Here are some other things to think about; Who is more concerned with sin, you or God? Answer-You God is life and the giver of life, is it wrong to give life then? If you are a Christian and you cannot conceive for some reason and take someone elses sperm to create life and to have a heritage, do you really think this upsets God? It doesn't, God is all about life and heritage. The bible is full of heritage and you would also be multiplying the earth with another person to love God and others. God gives us all things richly to enjoy, who are we to decide which method He should use to give us this rich life? Did God curse Abram and Sara when Abram slept with Hagar?-No Here is the account of what happened afterward; Gen 17:20 And as for Ishmael, I have heard you: I will surely bless him; I will make him fruitful and will greatly increase his numbers. He will be the father of twelve rulers, and I will make him into a great nation. NIV You as a born again beleiver have a better covenant than Abraham and so in this covenant you must rest. God loves you and what you do. If God did not judge them then He certainly won't judge you. The only one that may judge you are friends, religious people, legalistic people, the devil and perhaps yourself. You new child should be raised by faith just as you walk in faith and so you by faith are allowed to have a sperm donor or be a sperm donor. Rom 14:23 But the man who has doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin. NIV The above verse not only pertains to food but to everything, "The just shall live by faith" "Without faith it is impossible to please God" etc etc etc. Pray and discover the grace that God has for you, focus on the righteousness that you have in Christ as a born again believer rather than the sin that God is not focused on because Jesus died for your sins and God forgave you of them before you were born. For whom the son sets free is free indeed, free to have a child or to help another have a child, be free! :)
...In a figurative sense, Old Testament patriarchs often resorted to "surrogate Mothers," which could be referred to as "womb donors" in order to advance a bloodline. The best known example is Abraham and Hagar. In that particular case, it was instigated by Sarah, and not the Patriarch. In his own perception, Abraham would not even have qualified to BE a patriarch without such a pre-technical age decision to resort to a type of surrogate motherhood. However, I would argue that had Abraham possessed sufficient faith, he would have waited for God to open Sarah's womb--even though she was a nonogenarian. This Old Testament idea seems to be the same principle as modern-day sperm donation--not a dime's worth of difference. As eloquently stated above by Michaiel Houdmann, the key to the whole question is taking it to the Lord in Prayer! In fact, that's the key to everything!
Most of the aspects of this question have been answered, so I'm not going to rehash them. Looking at the bible, there were specific instances of what we may consider ancient forms of egg and sperm donation, including surrogacy. For instance, Sarah lost faith that in her old age she would be able to bear a child and according to the custom and culture of those days, she could become a mother by using a donor/surrogate in the form of Hagar: "Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. And she had an Egyptian maidservant whose name was Hagar. So Sarai said to Abram, “See now, the Lord has restrained me from bearing children. Please, go in to my maid; PERHAPS I SHALL OBTAIN CHILDREN BY HER.” And Abram heeded the voice of Sarai." (Genesis 16:1, 2 NKJV) Later during the time of Jacob, Rachel was also initially barren but bore children by a surrogate using the "donated" eggs and womb of her maid Bilhah. These children formed the tribes of Dan and Naphtali: "Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister, and said to Jacob, “Give me children, or else I die!” And Jacob’s anger was aroused against Rachel, and he said, “ Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?” So she said, “Here is my maid Bilhah; go in to her, and she will bear a child on my knees, THAT I ALSO MAY HAVE CHILDREN BY HER.” Then she gave him Bilhah her maid as wife, and Jacob went in to her. Then Rachel said, “God has judged my case; and He has also heard my voice and given me a son.” Therefore she called his name Dan. And Rachel’s maid Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. Then Rachel said, “With great wrestlings I have wrestled with my sister, and indeed I have prevailed.” So she called his name Naphtali. (Genesis 30:1-4, 6-8 NKJV) It was also the custom of the ancients and still the custom in many parts of the world for a man who cannot bear children or dies without children to have heirs produced for him by a brother. Judah expected one of his younger sons to bear sons for his elder deceased son who had died without heirs. When this younger son refused to "donate" his sperm, the bible says The Lord killed him. "Then Judah took a wife for Er his firstborn, and her name was Tamar. But Er, Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord killed him. And Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife and marry her, and raise up an heir to your brother.” But Onan knew that the heir would not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in to his brother’s wife, that he emitted on the ground, lest he should give an heir to his brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord; therefore He killed him also. (Genesis 38:6-10 NKJV). My belief is that while it's best for a woman to bear children by her husband, if there is a medical condition not allowing this to be possible, sperm donation is a perfect way to conceive. There is nothing sexually immoral about it as it involved a scientific method in a Petri dish, enabling a childless couple to bear children; much less explicit than the way Onan and Tamar in Genesis 38 were expected to conceive. It may be a different situation if we are talking about Octomom and things like that, but for genuine couples, such as that military man whose injuries totally destroyed all his anatomy or men who have suffered testicular or prostrate cancer, I don't see how God would be displeased with their desire for a child.
If God did not approve of multiple wives and husbands I cannot say He would approve of a sperm donor. You have to be logical. Your seed that God has created to be used to create Life in marriage is being used to create life in people you do not know random woman. Does that really make sense to people when you know who God is? I"m not one bit of a wordly christian. It is a wordly view to think that God is okay with that just because its a nice thing to do for someone.
There are many sides to this issue. Couples that desperately desire a baby to call their own, sperm banks that profit from their agony, doctors that continue to suggest treatment after treatment and on the opposite site thousand of children that need loving caring parents with government agencies that are drowning in paperwork. Even to be a Foster Parent in the US takes no less than six months of intensive training.(Twice a week for six weeks with homework) Not that you will not need this training, or that the trainers do not need to be looking your character. These babies come from horrific places we can only imagine. The last thing that they need is to fall into hands of someone that will treat them even worse! So the trainers place every part of your life under a microscope. Right down to your bedroom, your refrigerator, and your washer and dryer. Is it worth it? Yes! My first Foster Child stayed with me for 8 years. I love her like she is my own daughter. I am not a fool, I know she is not my daughter, but in my heart, she will always be my daughter! Isn't that where love starts? In the heart? I am also a sincere advocate for adoption. I am adopted. My adoptee parents were childless for twelve years before they finally adopted me. My Mother recounted many times of God's blessing on their lives as they were unable to have a child. My Mother's prayers were certainly answered, you will never know the times we were called liars as we recited the story of God's love in my adoption. I look so much like Mama. Four years after I was born, they adopted my brother, he looks and acts just like my father. Again, prayers answered. I believe that the spilling of sperm is wrong, men in the Bible were killed for such actions. Why would God change His mind about this? It is not in the Law therefore it is not something that was abolished. It is something that was just not to be done, it is life. Life is to be honored. I realize there are arguments that preserving the sperm is honoring life. I realize this is the flip side of the coin. However, I would ask this? Are you, as a man, prepared to be responsible for the child that is born of your emission? Regardless of the waivers that are signed, in the eyes of God, this is your child, of your body. Flesh of your flesh with the woman that has received your "donation." Your little boy or girl, that you are commanded to raise in the ways of the LORD. Next time you want to "donate", please think about this. Be Blessed, Lena
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