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As an intercessor, I've taken many approaches to prayer in situations that seem dire and hopeless, and I'll get into some of those approaches in a bit. But first and foremost, I think the best thing for you to do in your situation is to shower your wife with love, expecting nothing in return. By "showering her with love" I don't mean telling her endlessly that you love her, buying her chocolate and flowers every day, or trying to be affectionate if she doesn't want to be intimate; rather, I mean find ways to serve her and bless her in ways that perhaps she wouldn't expect. Is there a honey-do list left unfinished? Then finish every item on the list--and then some. Is there something you can do that would lighten her load every day, even if it costs you to do it? Then do it, counting the cost as your gain in Christ. This is in keeping with the example that Christ set for us, that we give freely, even in situations in which we know our giving will probably go unnoticed and/or unappreciated. When we are able to love this way, we express the heart of Christ to others, which will hopefully help to turn their hearts in the right direction in the end. Now, about prayer: 1) Seek The Lord about how He would have you pray: As I said, there are so many ways of approaching prayer, and we want to pray according to God's plan. I don't mean to say that there might be a wrong way to pray, but it's always good to seek God for direction in a serious matter. 2) Consider fasting: There are many ways to fast, so if you are physically unable to fast all food, you can choose to do a Daniel fast, a tech fast, a sugar fast, a dawn to dusk fast, etc... 3) Make decrees: Look to the word of God for scriptures that support unity and marriage and decree them over your marriage. For example, Matthew 19:5 says, And he said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one'; Proverbs 18:22 says, 22 He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from The Lord; Psalm 133:1 says, How good and pleasant it is when God's people live together in unity. 4) Pray that she'll be be transformed by the renewing of her mind and she'll put on the "new self." (Ephesians 4:22-24) 5) Pray that the eyes of her heart will be enlightened. (Ephesians 1:18) 6) Pray blessing over your wife: Often in situations like this it's easy to want to "sick God" on someone, claiming your own righteousness in the situation and pointing out how wrong the other person is. Remember Luke 19: 10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be [a]merciful to me, the sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.” The man who humbled himself was exalted in the eyes of Jesus; when we humble ourselves, it gets God's attention. You don't have to point out to God all the ways your wife's hurting you--He already knows that. So when you pray, ask God to bless her day (not her plans to divorce you, but her day at work, pray that she senses the presence and love of God, etc...). Jesus instructs us to bless those who curse us; I know it's hard in your situation, but God can give you the grace to do it. I'm out of space. Bless!
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