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This is what I would say to him, "May God have mercy on whoever taught you that." For God to predestine someone to hell is just opposite of God's nature. God wants all to be saved. (1 Timothy 2:4) People go to hell because they freely chose to reject God's love. As a father, I wish all my children to live in my house, but I will not bring them in kicking and screaming. If they choose to live outside my house, it will cause me much sorrow. My daughters are not robots, they will freely choose to live inside my house, and that will bring me great joy.
The devil is really good at convincing us that "we can't " change our way of thinking (which is all repent means.). The very fact that you are asking this question means that you can! You have already somewhat pointed your life arrow towards seeking God. Trust God to do the softening...argue, yell, scream and seek. Whatever seeking God looks like for you. There is no right way to seek and you don't have to be fixed or meet any expectations before you can seek. If you seek...he has promised you will find. Not "if you seek AND are not predestined to Hell AND don't have a hardened heart". He made it simple...the devil and unfortunately well intentioned Christians often convince us otherwise. One more thing....it is for some (myself for sure) gradual. Sometimes we look at those who have instantaneous epiphanies (which do occur) and think that's how is has to happen. Not so, let God's timing work and seek Him with what you got...He'll do he softening and the rest!
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