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How can my marriage be saved if I have been charged by the law for defending myself from being abused?

I have misdemeanor charges for causing harm to my husband during his drunken rage and there was a child involved as well. The attorneys didn't care about any of this. I go to church every sunday and want to know I am following the Lord's word. My husband is somewhat of a Jekyll and Hyde. He went to church a lot as a young man but his mother stopped going and didn't take him anymore. He has spoke of great things for life. But when he drinks its bad. He now lives with his mother and she is an alcoholic who says she is fine with her life. Is there any hope for my husband? Can this kind of marriage be helped?

Clarify Share Report Asked October 05 2013 Img 115321889436279 keisha thomas

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Mini Sean Deakyne
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church (Ephesians 5:25 - 5:29 NASB)

If you feel in your heart of hearts that your husband fulfills this scripture in its entirety. And would lay down his life and anything else for you and your children then by all means seek ultimate reconciliation, but if he treats you like he hates his own flesh and will not sacrifice to keep you safe then he has violated every vow he has made and is not worthy to model Christ in the position of husband. Seek the safety of yourself and your children first for we are to Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves (Matthew 10:16 NKJV)

October 05 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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Open uri20161028 5748 ah9x17 Melinda Schoch
When I first read your question, I thought, 'I could have written this myself', your situation is so similar to my own. I know therefore, a little of what you're going through & will keep you in my prayers as I say my own.

First of all, it's important your own walk with God is strong. May I suggest that, if you don't already do so, begin your day with repentance, scripture reading and prayer. This helps me stay focussed on God throughout the day. I also find that keeping the fruits of the spirit in mind helps me enormously - I make it my 'quest' each day to act in accordance with these fruits, ie to display peace, love, joy, kindness, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, forbearance & self control. If we're doing our best to remain focussed on God, loving Him with all we've got & treating others with love and respect also, we know that God will listen to us; & because He hates divorce, we also know that He will be working to bring about reconciliation in our marriages. And if God is for us, who can be against us?

I take comfort from the following scriptures and hope they bring you solace also.
Genesis 2:24 'Therefore shall a man leave his father & his mother, & shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.'

Matthew 19:5-6 'And said, for this cause shall a man leave his father & mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall be one flesh. Wherefor they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.'

Malachi 2:16 'For I hate divorce' says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'and (I also hate) him who covers his garment with wrong,' says the Lord of hosts.' Actually, it's worth a read through from Malachi 2:13 on.

As we pray and continue to walk with God, He will be giving our husbands plenty of opportunity to turn to Him, and it will be much better for us to have a man of God at our sides. Let's believe that God can turn this to our good.

October 05 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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Mini Tiffany O TIFF
In the book of Luke in chapter 1 verse 37 it is written "For with God nothing shall be impossible. Also in Jeremiah 32:17 the bible says “O Sovereign Lord! You made the heavens and earth by your strong hand and powerful arm. Nothing is too hard for you! (Jeremiah 32:17 NLT). Therefore God can restore your marriage and heal your husband. All you need to focus on is the word of God and effectual fervent prayers."Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. " (James 5:16 NLT). It shall be well with you. Hold on to your faith in God and he will come through for you.

October 05 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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Mini Cherie Mitchell
I think it speaks ill of our legal system when you get charged for fighting back.

I would agree that because you are being charged and may have to go to court, that you do pray and seek the Lord.

Praise is a powerful weapon. When King Saul was tormented, he called for David to play on his harp. The songs and music of praise broke through the attacks from the enemy. I sometimes put on music in the background.

Ask the Lord for favor and for Him to put people to help you across your path. Ask Him to guide your steps. 

Having lived in an abusive relationship, I asked a friend one question. From that one question came a phone number. From that phone number came a meeting. From that meeting came a new friend. From that new friend came guidance. From that guidance came a network of support. From that network of support came strength in trials. From that strength came faith that God would see me through anything and everything. I realized He was on my side.

(I posted long comments regarding domestic abuse and divorce, and domestic abuse and remarriage on the other threads. You can check those out. However, they don't have anything to do with being charged for protecting yourself from your abuser).

October 06 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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Doktor D W Supporter
I'm aware of a similar situation where a mother was defending herself and her child, but the mother was charged rather than the dad. 

With the hearing coming up, stay cool. At the hearing, stay cool. Present only the facts. Do as Tiffany and Melinda have suggested. There is no greater healer, no greater advocate, than Jesus. Keep that Spiritual door open as you listen to the Holy Spirit.

October 06 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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