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Yes, it is fine. Talking to a loved one who has passed away at a grave is one way that we mourn. We miss our loved ones, and it can bring comfort at times to pretend we are speaking to them. But that is the important part to remember - Our speaking to them is meant to bring us a moment of comfort, they aren't going to respond back. Whether it's at the actual grave, or as you're at a store and something reminds you of a memory of them and you chuckle and quietly remember a good time you had with them - there's nothing wrong with that. The only time there could develop a problem is if someone held a false belief that their deceased friend/relative could be contacted by a medium or some "spiritual" person. That's where the problem would be.
They best way to get comfort is speaking to our Lord, who listens, cares, answers and comforts. Speaking to someone dead doesn't help, which is not biblical too. You might get discouraged as you wouldn't get and sometimes deceived get intervened by unholy spirits. 1 Timothy 2:5 says, " For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus" He is the mediator, He is waiting to listen.
My husband passed away nine years ago and I have never spoken to him at his grave side or elsewhere. We miss him terribly but talking to the dead has never been an option for myself or my family. I don't believe it's healthy. Talking to Jesus about your loved one, about how you really feel during the grieving process is healthy because it makes a way for God's loving arms to wrap around you and fill your heart with comfort and care like no other can provide. it's real, it's tangible, it's available 24/7. I'm grateful.
Talking to them will not help solving our present problems. Bible clearly teaches that, after death there is no connection, soul will go to Paradise / Hades and body will go to mud. Even king David says about his son "I will go to him but he will not return". Our comforter is JESUS, we can go and share all our sorrows, he will give us double portion
I just stood at the gravesite of a loved one this week. I thanked God for many things, especially that she is present with Jesus. I did not speak to her because I felt she is outside of this perimeter of time and space. As lovely as she was presented, not one of us sensed anything except that the person we all loved was gone and completely whole now. As believers we are privileged with the assurance of "retiring" the earth bound "garment or tent" and having the promise of continuing our life in God with Jesus. Check out John 10:28, John14:1-4, also 1Cor 15:35-57 talks about the earthly and the new heavenly bodies. That being said, as I grieve, I am willing to allow God to comfort me and answer my questions about loss, suffering, sorrow and guide me in acceptance of how others are processing their grief.
We are being told to pray for the soul of the departed - in fact some of the preachers states that we should pray for our dear and loved ones who are gone to our heavenly home - they will come to help us in our time of our need - Of course Jesus is always there to help us, so are the Saints, so are the Angles
If its a way of grieving then its ok. Eccles 3:1-3 states there is a time for everything. After that its pointless and counter productive.
At the gravesite, who are you speaking to? The only source of comfort in time of sorrow is Jesus Christ the author and finisher of our faith.
I have always said if talking to the dead makes you feel to better, then go ahead. However, the Bible says that the dead neither hear nor speak with the living. And will only respond to the voice and trump of God at the resurrection/rapture during the return of Christ.
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