S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries

The Bible does not specifically talk to us about whether or not flirting is wrong, so what we should do is examine the definition of flirting. According to Merriam-Webster, flirting is "a) to behav...

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July 01 2013 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Jeffrey Johnson Supporter

What does the Bible say about flirting?

The Bible doesn't directly mention "flirting." Still, it offers principles guiding interactions, emphasizing pure motives, self-control, and honoring God in relationships, cautioning against flirtatious behavior that leads to lust, deceit, or "flirting with sin" (like Matthew 5:28 or Proverbs 7), while encouraging honorable conduct like Ruth and Boaz to build godly connections, highlighting that actions should stem from love, not mere temporary infatuation or objectification. 

The Scripture urges examining your heart's intent (Proverbs 4:23). If flirting aims for attention without a godly purpose, leads to lust, or is meant to "trifle" with someone's emotions, it's discouraged.

The Bible uses "flirting" in the sense of getting dangerously close to sin (as in Lot moving toward Sodom) or of acting with haughtiness and worldly allure (Isaiah 3:16-17), warning against such compromises.

The story of Amnon and Tamar shows that lust-driven obsession (infatuation) leads to destruction, in contrast to true godly love that respects and seeks the good of the other.

The relationship between Ruth and Boaz demonstrates how humility, respect, and honourable intentions can lead to godly unions. 

Flirting may be defined this way: to signal romantic interest when there is no real intention to marry. Humans are complex creatures, so there are no doubt countless ways to flirt, some of them very subtle. (Proverbs 30:18, 19) Hard-and-fast rules, then, cannot really address the matter. Instead, something more elevated is called for​—honest self-examination and the conscientious application of Bible principles.

Although flirting is not explicitly mentioned in the Scriptures, we can determine God's view. How? By examining Bible principles that bear on the matter. We thus develop our 'perceptive powers to distinguish right from wrong.' (Hebrews 5:14) 

Bible principles reveal that flirting can be cruel to fellow humans and disrespectful to God, the Originator of marriage. The Bible's view of improper flirting is indeed loving and reasonable, as it protects people from injury. Lovers of God will therefore refrain from inappropriate flirting and treat the opposite sex with chasteness and respect.

The key is "keeping an eye, not in personal interest upon just your own matters, but also in personal interest upon those of the others"​—regardless of age or sex. (Philippians 2:4) Steer clear of speech, dress, grooming, or actions that could be viewed as provocative. 

Author Kathy McCoy further warns in an article in Seventeen magazine that flirting can "take a toll on your ability to share, and can quite effectively block intimacy. After a time, flirting without emotional connection can become a numbing experience."

Conclusion:

Until you marry, maintain your self-respect. You need not flirt or court a flirt to learn about the opposite sex or to find real love. Steer clear of members of the opposite sex who are shallow or who are interested only in building their own egos. Be fair, honest, and unselfish in your speech and actions. Doing so, you can avoid the hurt of flirting.

7 days ago • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report