How often should a married couple have sex?


Clarify Share Report Asked July 01 2013 Mini Anonymous (via GotQuestions)

For follow-up discussion and general commentary on the topic. Comments are sorted chronologically.

Mini Bernita Rainey

as often as like except when spending devoting time to fasting and praying.

February 01 2014 Report

Mini Larry Truelove

Apparently, some of the Corinthian Christians believed that abstaining from sex, even for a married couple, was a higher form of Christian devotion. For that reason, Paul's opening words of chapter 7 contain quotes, Concerning the things you wrote to me: "It is good for a man not to touch a woman."

February 02 2014 Report

David goliath victory hg clr Jim Tumlinson

As often as they like but both partners must agree. The marriage bed is undefiled. However if each one wants to either please or protect the other then they should make accommodations to do so. If for instance the husband travels then the wife should help him "be empty" when he leaves.

As one older lady once said, "Never let your husband leave the house with a loaded pistol" She was old, like white hair old.

One time a man said when he was propositioned by a woman, "why stay here and eat hamburger when I have steak at home"?

Sometimes it can be for the protection of the marriage covenant and other times for fun, or procreation etc. Once again the couple should agree on when to withhold and when to be there for the other.

Sex is also covenant making, where two become one, just as when we take communion we are making covenant with God via Jesus. And the bible says to do that as often as we think of Him.

February 02 2014 Report

Mini mark T

Hebrews 13:4 KJV: Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed UN-defiled. So, as many times as they agree.

April 02 2018 Report

Mini Ronnie Russell

The two areas that can and will spell disaster in a marriage is money and sex. Money when there is not enough of it, or there is no shared agreement on how it is to be spent. Sex when there is not enough of it, or shared agreement on when to have it or abstain from it.

We were created as sexual beings with the express command to be fruitful and to multiply. It is the church's responsibility to teach what a healthy sex life looks like. However, because of the fall and our flawed view of sex, it is a taboo to speak of it in church. I believe that if God did not intend for sex to be discussed within the context of church, he never would have allowed the mention of it in the scriptures.

Our problem with the issue of sex it that we have confused sex with intimacy. We only think we are intimate when we are involved in the sex act. However, intimacy is something that can take place with your clothes on. My wife and I are intimate all the time. When we are walking in the mall we hold hands, riding in the care we hold hands, or just sitting and watching the t v.

Intimacy is the act of connecting on a level that transcends physical touch, and connects somewhere north of the genital area. You can be intimate by just looking at each other or reading a novel together.

The sexual act can be improved when we learn to be intimate with each other. However, don't use intimacy as a substitute for sex, unless both parties agree. In marriage your bodies belong to each other and to not have a healthy sex life is to invite the temptation of the enemy into the relationship.

May 04 2018 Report

Data Danny Hickman

I often read on this site someone saying how you should ask yourself if you'd watch a certain movie or listen to certain music with Jesus. Would you engage in various activities in His presence. Well I'm wondering if anyone would ask Jesus how often he/she should have sex with their spouse.

Asking it here is actually asking for help from the scriptures on whether it's okay to want to have sex every day. Is that a question to ask God? If it's simply a psychological question then a psychologist is the person to ask. I don't know of a scripture that would answer such an inquiry.

I guess that's why the attempt to give an answer veered off into things that weren't asked. Sexual frequency was the concern. The answers didn't even attempt to address that. The answers were about making sure both parties were willing participants, and not depriving the other person. The bible addresses those concerns. But it doesn't tell us how much love to make.
That's the answer; You're asking the wrong people. This is a psychological issue.

November 23 2021 Report

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