Can I start dating (I am in the process of getting a divorce), or do I have to wait until the divorce is final?


Clarify Share Report Asked July 01 2013 Mini Anonymous (via GotQuestions)

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Seth3 Seth Freeman
The first easy answer is that you have to wait until your divorce is final. 

However, the real question is whether or not Scripture permits you to date/remarry.

Matthew 5:32 - But i say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, EXCEPT for the reason of unchastity [adultery], makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

This verse as well as the corresponding one in chapter 19 are very clear that when a married woman (or man) receives a divorce for any reason OTHER than adultery, that if they are to remarry they themselves are committing adultery.  What this means is that in the eyes of God, even if a couple gets a divorce, if the divorce is not because of adultery, they are actually still married in the eyes of God.  Only a married person can commit adultery, or cause another to commit adultery.  Thus, what we have here is a statement that if the divorce IS because of adultery, then there is no adultery committed upon a remarriage.  

I Corinthians 7:13; And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband aways. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases...

This is the second allowance for divorce and remarriage. In the case of an unequally yoked marriage, if the unbelieving spouse, and only the unbelieving spouse insists on a divorce, then it is permitted.  There is something special and unique about a Christian marraige that is absent in a non-believing marriage.  That something is the Holy Spirit.  Ecclesiastes tells us a marriage is like a cord of three strands, sanctified by the Holy Spirit.  For Christians, marriage is unique, a covenant held together by God himself.  For non-Christians, it is a covenant made by two fallen humans, important - but different.

So basically, divorce AND remarriage is only permitted in the case of adultery or an unequally yoked marriage. 

If you are getting your divorce for any reason other than your spouse committed adultery, or your spouse is not a believer and is forcing the divorce upon you - then you are not divorced in the eyes of the Lord and you are not free to date or remarry unless you want to commit adultery.

July 25 2013 4 responses Vote Up Share Report

Shea S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries
The question of dating during the divorce process is difficult to answer for several reasons. For one thing, the concept of "dating" as we know it today is nowhere mentioned in the Bible. Most marr...

July 01 2013 2 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Candace yang
I speak to those who have at one point in their life sincerely received the Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour. Please read the Bible and as you do so ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate the Truth, as is His role in all believers (ie, children of God).

Matthew 5: 32 states that "anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery."

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 states "Now, for those who are married I have a command that comes not for me, but from the Lord. A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.

The Bible is the Living Word of God and the Absolute Truth. It pierces through our hearts and clearly guides us and directs us in our everyday practical living. 

From the Bible verses mentioned, God has a clear command and directive on marriage, divorce, and adultery. Please feel free to read the Matthew 5 and 1 Corinthians 7 and the account of Creation in Genesis.

God's commands and directives are always for our own good - it protects us and provides for us. No matter how we feel and whatever our circumstances are, it is important and imperative that we obey the Lord - this is the only way we will ever experience the realness of God and the relevance of a personal and intimate relationship with Him. Obeying can be costly to you and to those around you, but do not worry because God will take care of you. He is powerfully in control of everything. None of our brokenness and hardships will be wasted as God promises to turn our u pleasant circumstances into something good (Romans 8:28). We have to believe that He is faithful and True, He has literally always been and always will be. Every time we are asked to obey, we are also asked to trust Him... completely. I pray right now that the Truth sets you free (John 8:32).

October 12 2013 3 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Ezekiel Kimosop - Pastor & Bible Scholar
Divorce by whatever means unless in the case of blatant and unrepentant adulterous person is strictly not permitted. Even in this situation, the room for forgiveness and reconciliation should remain open because who knows if GOD will not change the sinner to a saint.

It is surprising that some modern Bible translations have watered down the Scripture meaning to accommodate our secular and contemporary but false theology that one can divorce and simply remarry. 

I have in mind the NIV 2011 edition that has substituted God with man as the subject of Malachi 2:16 so that the original meaning as re[presented by NIV 1984 and other older translations has been totally lost. In the original text God is the subject and he declares "I hate divorce" and this Scriptural truth cannot be diluted by the so called contextual or dynamic translations that have paraphrased Scripture beyond the permitted confines of truth. 

Society may alter its values of traditions but God will never lower his standards to accommodate ours. Instead, God's Word is the cannon by which our human fallibility is measured on the scale of God's purity and holiness.

November 18 2013 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

My picture Jack Gutknecht ABC/DTS graduate, guitar music ministry Baptist church
I speak from personal experience. My mom and dad were getting a divorce, and it was not finalized yet. But then my dad starting dating another woman whom I knew as she was the mother of one of my best friends. Even though this was the case, it did not look good.

It gave me the impression and perhaps to others, too, that this other woman was the reason for my dad divorcing my mom.

December 28 2019 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

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