What should I do if I cannot decide who I should be dating?


Clarify Share Report Asked July 01 2013 Mini Anonymous (via GotQuestions)

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Shea S. Michael Houdmann Supporter Got Questions Ministries
The Bible does not specifically address this topic, but it does give us insight into what we should seek in a potential spouse. The first, and best, advice is to pray about it. God will give wisdom...

July 01 2013 6 responses Vote Up Share Report

Stringio donna reyes
For me if you you cannot decide, seek advise from the your parents, Pastors or elders inside the church, that you know righteous and have a real concern in you. Plus off course, ask God for the right one. God gave me the right person with exact characters of what i asked Him. It may not happen to all but no harm in trying.. God bless you..

December 02 2013 1 response Vote Up Share Report

Andy  3 photo Andy Mangus I am a Christian since October 1979 & devoted truth seeker.
I will submit my straight forward simple answer with a sincere effort to suggest a helpful God directed way to achieve your desire. God tells us many times in His Holy Word, "to trust in the Lord in all thy ways, in all our desires, to make our request known unto Him with a humble heart, seeking His will be done in our lives" and with confidence, expecting to receive His divine guidance through faith in His promises! "Delight yourself IN the Lord and He will find favor in and by your faith, trust and obedience unto Him". Do this as He instructs us to do specifically in His Word. "Ask Him in this manner: "....Father, bless me with the spouse you have planned for me, for I request that your will be done in my life, In Jesus name, AMEN!

As a personal note: This is almost exactly what and how I met my wife at Church back in 1995! I had been earnestly praying for God to bless me with my wife He had chosen for me, but was waiting for me to be found faithful, trusting and just and submit unto Him for His guidance, direction, purpose and 'being focused only on Him.' I experienced God bringing about His purpose in my life in a dramatic way. I experienced "...not my will, but Thy will be done, in Jesus' name, AMEN!" In about 2-3 days as I recall from my very clear memory! **She is also the mother of an 'answer to prayer' in which we have an 'about to be' 14 year old son, who was that answer to very heartfelt, emotional prayer(s).**

"Trust in the Lord in all thy ways, all the days of your life and He will direct your paths".

August 31 2016 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Physician pic Melanie Spindler Imperfect Christ-Follower, lover of God, seeker of Truth
I agree with Michael; I would add that I am a firm believer that God is sovereign and as such, He will reconcile all things to His will and to Him. Aren't dating a believer? I would suggest that dating is not the mission field (which is what I tell my own teens). However, God can and will use your faithfulness to lead your boy- or girlfriend or spouse to Himself.

My husband of 20 years (dating for 3 prior to that) was not a believer when we started dating, but thanks to God, there was something in him I knew was anointed. He had all the qualities of the husband spoken about in Scripture: forgiving, tender, loving, SACRIFICIAL. When he graduated from business school after 2 years of dating, I gave him a beautiful leather-bound embossed bible; many years later he told me that at the time he thought it was the weirdest gift he'd ever received. But he read it (as I knew he would) and immediately knew it was the Truth, and was converted because he allowed God to use this small act to change his heart toward Himself. 

If your dating partner is not a believer, does he/she have the qualities that a godly person would have? Does this person embody real love spoken about in 1 Corinthians 13? If not, then it is the wrong person, Christian or not. If they do, then the Holy Spirit is likely already working in their lives whether they acknowledge it or not.

Remember also that God is not a god of chaos but of peace; this same God gives us a spirit of power, love and self-discipline (1 Corinthians 14:33, 2 Timothy 1:7). The more you are in tune with His heart, the more likely you will see His heart in others, including those you will date. When you find "the one" I would suggest it will not cause confusion, but peace.

May 13 2018 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

Mini Richard Burroughs
I agree with Mr. Houdman's response. However, there is always an exception. I was in the US Air Force and after 3 or 4 years of lonliness I started praying and looking for a wife.

God led me overseas and to a woman of another culture who was involved in familial worship (worshipping their ancestors). We dated for two months, she broke up with me, and then came back a month later. Fourteen months after her return, we were married in the House of God with a Christian Wedding (she was still not a Christian but wanted a church wedding as she knew I was a Christian).

Two short years later after the loss of our firstborn child, she became a Christian. God has blessed me, her, and others around us in so many ways because of her conversion.

Our meeting was no accident and was the plan of God because He knows the future and everything. He knew how strong of a Christian and witness she would be. She also witnesses to her family, planting the seeds. We won't know until we get to Heaven if she was successful, but she is doing the Lord's work.

Continually pray to God for His guidance to the right person that He has planned for your life.

March 14 2024 0 responses Vote Up Share Report

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