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First, the definition of all sin is offending our Holy God by violating His standards. Fortunately, we have the Bible to tell us what His standards are, a conscience that tells us right from wrong and the Holy Spirit to convict us of sin if we are open to wanting to not sin against God. If you do a word study in the Bible looking up 'sex', 'immorality'and 'marriage' you can learn about God's standards. The reason His standards are important is that He is the Creator of your life and therefore has the Authority to Judge and determine your eternal life position. The wages of sin is death. God created sex to be enjoyed only between one man and one woman for life. That means all premarital sex is sin. Since Jesus says lust is sin, that includes porn and masturbation, and oral sex without intercourse is still sex outside of marriage. Many people distort God's message of grace through Jesus Christ saying that grace covers all this sexual immorality, but in the New Testament there are plenty of Scriptures that indicate judgment for this sin. And we must not engage in sexual immorality as some of them did, causing 23,000 of them to die in one day. - 1 Corinthians 10:8 http://bit.ly/UUMkBI When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. - Galatians 5:19-21 http://bit.ly/SG6FgB Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God’s people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, or greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is an idolater, worshiping the things of this world. - Ephesians 5:3-5 http://bit.ly/OSfaka Even if you live together without having sex that is against God since the Bible says that there must not be even a hint of immorality. So if you are convicted by the Holy Spirit and really care about what God thinks about your sex life, the only answer is to repent. I had to do this for having premarital sex with my husband of 22 years when I became a Christian. I found that when I asked God in prayer what I needed to repent of that He showed me my sins over a couple of weeks and I received the Holy Spirit in my heart to give me a new life. This is called being born again and He changed my desires to match His desires for my life so that I wouldn't sin against Him. That is the only way to do as Jesus commanded the woman forgiven of her adultery "Go and sin no more'. Just saying you are sorry but refusing to change your sex life is not repentance. Repentance is proven by life change.
My opinion is that marriage as biblically defined is a state that exists between a man and woman who are consenting adults and have had sex. In my view you have entered into matrimony when you have consensual sexual intercourse and no law made by man can break this. If I copulate with a woman I am taking her as my wife and all biblical law concerning marriage becomes valid. The point I am making is that you cannot live in sin with a partner if you honour your partner and vow before God that you have taken your partner as your spouse for life. A ceremony in a church or court cannot supersede this holy state which is binding on the conscience of both spouses. To publically declare your marriage will definitely help if you are blessed with offspring or claim other legal benefits - this is where it helps if you obtain a legal marriage licence. Marriage is a state entered into before God and is entered into by coitus. That means I would only be living in sin if I had sex with another person or performed any other act that would harm the unity I created with my wife by having sex with her.
If we believe that we live now under grace and the law does not matter anymore, we will be inclined to think that living together without being married is no big deal. What is the point of observing social and moral laws if whatever we do in life is inconsequential? However, as others mentioned, there are numerous Bible texts that clearly indicates that God wants us to follow his moral laws for healthy living, including healthy relationships. Convenience, tax or social benefits should not be an excuse for not entering into a marriage agreement. In John 4, Jesus encounters a Samaritan woman by the well and starts a conversation. In verse 16-18 an interesting exchange take place in which Jesus points out her inappropriate living arrangements. In verse 19-20, the woman, obviously uncomfortable with the topic, changes the subject to avoid further embarrassment. From this text we can clearly see that Jesus did not approve of her lifestyle and used this opportunity to point out the sin in her life. We should also listen and learn.
Our God is a Holy, Holy, Holy God. God cannot tolerate sin and that is why He gave us the Commandments, Precepts and Judgements. He made marriage between a man and a women and anything else is unholy.The Bible has a lot to say about marriage. In Jesus time marriage was promised to two people a year before the ceremony and this two people would live apart before the marriage. Now we have what we call a Commom Law marriage, but it is not really binding if you want to get out of it, it seems to be a trial marriage with benefits. Well, it goes against fornication and violating an unmarried women and in God's eyes, it is sin. It was not God's intent for people to go into a bar or other places and have sex with someone you meet there. This is called a one nighter. There are so many people that don't know God or His Commandments and are in the flesh and just do things like animals do for they don't know God. When you marry, we have laws from the Bible that keep that marriage together, even though now about 50 per-cent of those marriages fail because we don't follow God's laws. If we don't have the Holy Spirit living in us, then we don't know God, thus we cannot comply with His instructions for the way He wants us to live. God sent His Son so that through Him we might know Him. He also sent His Son to right the fall of Adam and Eve in the fall in the Garden. Jesus Christ it the only Way, the only Truth and the only way to eternal life. We will never live to God's standards and never be holy to God. If we accept Jesus Christ as out Savior, when God sees us, He sees His Son in us, thus He sees us as Holy and accepts us for His Son piad for our past sins, present sins and future sins with His blood on the cross. If you rollos Jesus Christ and all He showed and taught us annd accept Him as your personal Savior them you will have eternal life.
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