Justin Hale

It would probably help to clarify how the Bible views the social categories invented by mankind, how you categorize yourself and others based on the Bible, and then what instructions God gives us in scripture regarding social interactions with both the secular world and fellow Christians. In particular, what the Bible means by "fellowship." 

"I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of 'brother' if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.” (1 Corinthians 5:9-13).

In these verses, the Holy Spirit is revealing to us that going out to interact with openly immoral people is not forbidden. Inviting them into "fellowship" with yourself and other believers is forbidden. 

Why?

God wants us to honor the liberty of each soul to choose for themselves what path they will take. Jesus does not force Himself upon anyone, nor would He allow anyone to rob us of the option to walk His path either. By "becoming like" the other path, we rob people of the option to choose Christ. That is why we cannot invite those walking the "alternative" path to join us in fellowship and call themselves our "brother" or "sister." 

This means that we have no business playing the judge and condemning anyone outside of our fellowship. They may define "marriage" or their own personal identity however they please. They just may not define it for us and remove our own choice. Nor may they use any form of social power to force us to join them in their distinct definitions.

You will find that God Himself defends the rights of all people to decide for themselves which path they will choose, even if they ultimately choose against Him. That is why we call God perfectly "impartial" (1 Peter 1:17).

When we go out into the world representing Christ then, we too ought to be equally impartial. So if the wedding ceremony claims to be "Christian," this would be a strong reason to make a statement against it by not attending. 

However, if this ceremony is not trying to incorporate itself into the path being offered to us by Christ, then the "law of liberty" (James 1:25, 2:12) is preserved and you are free to attend for the purpose of displaying God's impartial treatment of all people.

This "testimony of tolerance" is part of your personal liberty in Christ. But the next question is whether doing so would be "edifying," since this is also our standard. 

"All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor." (1 Corinthians 10:23-24). 

Later in this same passage, the Holy Spirit clarifies that we can know whether something "builds up" (is "edifying'), because we feel "grateful" for having done it, (1 Corinthians 10:30).

"Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved." (1 Corinthians 10:32-33). 

In the book of Jude, the Holy Spirit reveals three main ways that people find salvation: 1) By being unexpectedly rescued from tragedy, the "flames of life"; 2) By witnessing a depth of compassion they have never seen before; 3) By seeing a very high level of genuine ethics and morals, (Jude 1:23). 

Being "offended" by our personal judgment of them can ruin all three. 

Will your decision not to attend potentially ruin any of these by causing needless offense? 

Legal marriage is temporary, (Mark 12:25).

Salvation is forever

March 05 2024 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Paula Fether Lifelong student of the scriptures

There have been relatives' weddings that I declined to attend: one because the ceremony seemed to mock God (the 'altar' was a motorcycle and the 'priest' an unbeliever), and another between lesbians. I declined the latter even though they aren't believers, because to attend would signify my blessing on the union, which I could not in good conscience give.

March 05 2024 • 8 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Danny Hickman Supporter Believer in The Gospel Of Jesus Christ

What did your pastor say about it when you asked him / her? I was under the impression that if you are a person who claims to care whether it is offensive to Jesus to attend the wedding of someone judged as a sinner, that you are to ask your pastor. I'm assuming that you consider your transgender daughter and whoever it is that she is marrying to be sinners, as the reason you're questioning whether you should attend their wedding. (You stated that your daughter is transgender, but that's all. You didn't say anything else about her; like she is dangerous or a fugitive on the run, or something of that nature. So I'm assuming that she being a transgender, is to you "reason enough" to not go). 

I don't have a child or a grandchild that has come out gay, or transgender or anything of that nature. So I think I can be very objective about these issues. 

These things are becoming less embarrassing than they once were. They are still viewed by the church as being sinful in nature, and we know they are. But the church is becoming more enlightened and I think that's a good thing. That is, the churches that are in progressive areas. I don't know about small towns. Small enclaves can be breeding grounds for bigotry. Yes, bigotry, and that ain't of God. God is love (1 John 4:8). 

God gets angry, but he isn't wrath. God punishes disobedience, but he isn't revenge or retribution. God loves and he IS love.

Would Jesus attend the wedding of two sinners? He went to a wedding in Cana. (John 2) Do you suppose the bride and groom were perfect like Jesus, or were they sinners? (no need to answer that)

Are you concerned about what Jesus thinks about you attending the wedding, or is the Pharisaic wing of the church your concern? 

Now it happened, as he (Jesus) was dining in Levi's (Matthew's) house, that many tax collectors and sinners also sat together with Jesus and his disciples; for there were many, AND THEY FOLLOWED HIM. (let that soak a bit)... And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eating with the tax collectors and sinners (substitute transgenders and homosexuals, or dope dealers and casino owners, or any other brand of sinner), they said to his disciples, "How is it that he eats and drinks with tax collectors and sinners?" (Mark 2:15,16). What was Jesus supposed to do, tell those sinners (enemies of the church) to stop following him? Or should he have refused the invitation?

He ate with them and attended their weddings because (here it is) HE WAS INVITED! He didn't get in touch with Caiaphas or Annas (the two high priests) and ask them whether it was okay to attend the wedding in Cana or to eat with tax collectors and sinners. He was invited, they were his followers, so he went. Jesus stated that it is the sick who need a physician, an axiom that was true of the Scribes and Pharisees as well as the tax collectors and the other sinners. The scriptures aren't specific about the "other sinners." I suppose we can assume an assortment of every kind, or that it really doesn't matter. 

You've been invited to attend your own daughter's wedding. You probably think she's a sinner. You're undoubtedly right. What are you going to do? It's your decision; you know what Jesus did, so don't use him as an excuse!

March 08 2024 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Minister/ Darrell Jeffery

Same-sex marriages are a sin. It is an abomination for man to lie with another man. No true Christian will approve such marriages. I do not approve and never will.

April 13 2024 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Philip Davies

Its easy to understand your dilemma. You love your daughter, but don't want to approve her choice of partners because it's against your faith. What do you do? 

I don't see a problem with this. It's right to support your daughter and be with her at this important time. And it's right that your daughter knows that being with her does not mean agreeing with her. But love covers a multitude of sins, which is just as well, as we are all sinners, and we all need support.

Jesus met with sinners often, but it didn't mean he approved of their sin. He ate with those who were wicked, but did not approve of wickedness. So I would go with a clear conscience to support the daughter you love, without any need to approve of what she does.

If we were to stay away from all weddings where sinners were present, we wouldn't attend any weddings, at all would we. And if only the perfect and the righteous were allowed at weddings, then we wouldn't be allowed to attend ourselves would we?

8 days ago • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

John Anderson

Would you attend if it was a devil themed wedding? That is, after all, the question. They may not believe it, but they are dooming themselves; well, probably long before that actually.

But by a Christian attending, you give them the satisfaction to believe they are doing nothing wrong. It is a tough choice though, choosing to mock God’s commands… or not.

8 days ago • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Maryjann JM

I would go to the ceremony for the reason that I did not attend my physical brother “Bill’s” polyamorous wedding and have lived to regret not attending. My brother married a woman and a man, becoming a co-husband. (Apparently there is an active "Poly" subculture that had swept him up.) 

In making our decision not to attend, my husband and I met with a pastor at our church who told us that we should not go because we had small children who would later see our attendance as compromising our Christian walk by supporting sin. He also advised us that such a wedding was no place for solid Christians to be. 

This wedding was in the early 2000's and the marriage lasted about 9 years. When they all separated, Bill, of course, was not legally married in our state and drifted away from the wife's home. (Her other husband had moved out of state.) Bill lost out financially, morally, spiritually, and physically. 

I wanted to be supportive, but my brother carried a lot of resentment against me. The tension in our relationship had led to an estrangement for most of his “marriage.” We have only reconciled in the last 4 years or so. We are now in our 60's, and we are able to talk about Christian topics. He even attended Easter service with my family. I have regretted taking the high road, so to speak, legalistically, because I lost so much ground in my relationship and have lost so much credibility when trying to show him what a loving Christian sister looks like, what a loving God looks like. I am glad that God has given us both the time to recover from our mistakes. As others have said, love is what matters here. I’m sure your daughter knows your stance on such weddings perfectly well.

8 days ago • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report