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How do I encourage my fiance to figure out what exactly he believes in, especially since I intend on taking our future children to a Pentecostal church?

He believes there is something greater than us out there, but he isn't entirely sure what to call it. He loves that I am Christian because of my personality and comes to church with me at times, but I want to see him fully embrace God. I feel like he is too afraid to give up his free will and surrender himself fully. 

Clarify Share Report Asked July 27 2019 Mini Anonymous

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20230618 192834 Donna Williams
Let me start by saying, I have taken note of the date this question was asked and so I am wondering if you are already married, and if so, what I have to say maybe irrelevant at this point, but I will share what is in my heart. 

I understand that this is a sensitive issue as it pertains to matters of the heart; however as a sister in Christ I must tell you the truth. When I first read your question my first thought was that you are headed in the wrong direction. 

I say this because, if your fiance is an unbeliever and you have made the decision to or even considering marrying him then you are in disobedience to the Word of God. I encourage you to read 2 Corinthians 6:14.

I must say you are going in with your eyes wide open and if you marry him anyway then you will have to suffer the consequences for your disobedience. I say this in love, in hopes to spare you of unnecessary pain and heartache. 

I have suffered greatly by going against God's will and it has taken me a long time to get over past mistakes. 

The other thing that I would like to address is the statement you made about the denominational church that you would like to take your future children to, this let's me know that you will be leading because your fiance or husband is not in position to be the priest and spiritual leader of your family. 

I pray that you will take into consideration all that has been shared, as women we become so emotionally attached and many times ignore the signs or we go into relationships thinking we can change the person, but it does not work.

Lastly, I encourage you to take your focus off of your fiance and begin to consider where you are in your relationship with the Father; because the truth of the matter is, when we make decisions that are in direct violation to the Word of God, we must ask ourselves do we really love God and does He really have our hearts. For Jesus said, "if you love me you will keep my commandments."

Take it from someone who knows: there was a time in my life that my desire for a man was greater than my desire for God and that desire became an idol in my heart.

February 14 2020 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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Mini Steven Palatsky
It’s great that you want to raise your future children in the church, but the issue of your fiancée’s salvation needs to be settled first. 2Corinthians 6:14 instructs is not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. If you marry your unbelieving fiancée you will be acting against God’s word and it will cause heartache. Just talk to another believer who married an unbeliever. Also you don’t want your spouse to confess Christ just to make you happy. It must be a work of God’s Spirit (John 6:44). It may be very hard but slow down. Give God time to move in your fiancee’s heart. Much pain will be avoided if you wait.

February 14 2020 1 response Vote Up Share Report


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Mini Tim Maas Retired Quality Assurance Specialist with the U.S. Army
Do you intend your wedding to be performed by a Pentecostal pastor? Ministers in churches that I have been familiar with have required couples planning to be married by them to engage in a period of pastoral counseling prior to the ceremony being performed. Perhaps such discussions could either bring your fiance to faith, or give you a fuller understanding of the specific fears or reasons as to why he cannot, will not, or even perhaps may never, share your faith.

If your fiance flatly refuses even such participation, perhaps that would give you further insight as to whether (regardless of your feelings for him) he would truly be the right partner for an apparently committed Christian such as yourself. Surely it would be preferable to resolve that question or issue prior to being married (if not through discussions with a pastor, then with a secular counselor), rather than having to deal with it afterward, especially if future children might be involved.

July 28 2019 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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