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I would say that believers should confess and repent of the actions that they realize have grieved the Holy Spirit, and seek God's forgiveness of those actions for Jesus' sake. They should then strive, with the Holy Spirit's help, to engage in the types of behaviors mentioned by Paul in that same chapter (Ephesians 4:17-32), including: -- speaking truthfully to others; -- not clinging to anger, bearing malice, or nursing grudges; -- engaging in honest work for income to obtain desired possessions, rather than stealing, and also so that they can give some of that income to others in need; -- speaking only words that will benefit others or address their needs, rather than seeking to slander them or tear them down; and -- displaying the same kind of kindness and compassion toward others that God had displayed toward them in making it possible for them to be saved through faith in Christ.
The fact that a believer becomes conscious of grieving The Holy Spirit is the outcome of the work of the Holy Spirit. In John 16:8, one of the work of The Holy Spirit is "to convict of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment." When a believer becomes aware of a behavior that is causing grief to the Holy Spirit, the believer needs to humble himself and yield to the will of The Holy Spirit. The believer needs to confess his sin with a repentant mind and believes the promise of God to forgive him and cleanse him from all unrighteousness (1John 1: 7- 9). Lastly the believer needs to return to the communion of the Holy Spirit by walking in the light or to put on your new nature. Eph. 4: 23-24.
Ephesians 4:30 And grieve not the Holy Spirit in whom ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Believers can get out of fellowship with God through sin, but never our relationship to Him. Once we trust Jesus as our only hope of heaven, He gives us eternal life as a free gift. And, as First John 1:8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the TRUTH is not in us. We all sin all the time. But, we do not see our sins. But God does. That is why He is continually our advocate with the Father. Since He paid for our sins, we can no longer be condemned. But, if we go off and live in certain sins like homosexuality, he will chasten us and if we do not change He may take our life early. We reap what we sow. We can not lose our salvation which is a free gift from God. Romans 6:23, but if we have stolen something we should if possible take it back. It all depends on what the sin was. Did you lie on your tax return? Did you drink to much alcohol? It depends on the offence. If you can make it right, then do that. If it is something that you can no longer make right. You can only confess your sin and thank God for His grace and press on toward the mark. Not for salvation but for rewards in heaven. Our sin debt has already been paid in full and we can no longer be condemned. John 3:18 But we can be chastened by the Lord. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Now we are back in fellowship with our heavenly father. When we are born again, Ephesians 1:13-14 and we are a child of God forever. But, as His children we still need a good spanking for sin. That is how we learn. Just as our earthly fathers chastened us, so does our heavenly Father. He will never leave us or forsake us, Hebrews 13:5 and He will never cast us out, John 6:37, but He may chasten us as children. But the last thing He wants to do is chasten His children and He would rather we turn from it from our own free will. Then he does not have to chasten us. If you have been unreasonable with your mate, confess your wrong to them. Maybe they are doing the best they can. Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it. Wives respect your husbands. But, we live in a fallen world and still have our old fallen nature and are never going to be perfect in this life. Only our soul/spirit is saved. Not our flesh nature. We still have it till we die. First John 1:8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the TRUTH is not in us. If we could live without sin, then Jesus died in vain.
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