The word "bastard" here means as without a father - does that mean that if we are not chastened by God we aren't actually His child?
ESV - 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.
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I'm not sure that "discipline" as used in the verse cited in the question necessarily has to imply a negative connotation, or refer to external punishment of some sort. "Discipline", in its root sense, pertains to learning or the acquisition of knowledge. To me, anytime a Christian, through knowledge of God's Word (both Law and Gospel), makes a conscious choice to forgo a sinful action, or to perform a charitable act in gratitude for the love and grace that God has shown him through Christ, he is doing so because of discipline -- that is, a sense of duty or right and wrong acquired through learning it from the Word. In that context, all Christians have been disciplined. And, by submitting to that discipline, they may have seemingly "missed out" on the transient "pleasures" that the ignoring of that discipline might have brought them, which is what can make that discipline seem (in an earthly or temporal sense) to be undesirable or even painful. When considered, then, from that standpoint, people who are never constrained or motivated in their actions by God's Word or by considerations of being followers of Christ, are indeed "illegitimate", since (irrespective of what they may profess) God has no active involvement or influence in their lives.
God engage with chastisement in His children's lives in a Fatherly manner and above all to keep them who have responded to His call. Those not yet on board also receives from God or are allowed by God harsh purposeful punishment. As for Christians they will always be part of Gods loving chastisement for as long as they are imperfect in this earthly life. That treatment should be our whole life according to 1 John 1: 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. Any chastisement Christians experience will work out for their good. In the context of Hebrews 12 chastisement is use to keep Christians from forgetting what pain is, what awkwardness is, what weariness is, what it is to be burdened, how it feels to be sick and to be sad etc. This will sustain them to persevere towards real life. A life where there is no more pain no more sickness no more sin and no more death. Count it all joy as Jesus did in the beginning of the context of Hebrews 12:1 let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. That was "perfect" Jesus suffering (with joyful thoughts of the end results) for His purpose which is the big family He will secure by enduring His pain His cross. Our pain will also secure something for "imperfect" us if we endure (with joyful future thoughts of heaven) Gods good intentional purposeful chastisement in whichever form it comes. In the book of Job 5:17-18 these words are written 17 “Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.[a] 18 For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal. Rev 3:19 (NIV) [Jesus] "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. Christians wounds and injuries is for a different priority and that is "to keep us fit for heaven" not in effect but as an remembrance as quoted above about Revelation 21:4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[a] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” So yes chastisement is our (Christians) part as long as we are earthly children of God. I will be worried as a Christian when I live in sin even recklessly and don't get corrected by God my Father. I look to Job as an example when it becomes difficult to see validation in the pain of chastisement.
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