I grew up in a Christian environment. I've been hurt countless times by "Christians". Slowly I lost faith, and I've been an atheist for about 10 years or so. It's repulsive to me when people tell me there is one truth, and it needs to be mine in order for things to work out for me. If trying to force someone to believe like you is part of your religion, I don't find that appealing and don't want to convert. That is to share why I'm not a Christian. I struggle with a disorder, and nothing I've tried helps. Although I don't believe in God yet, I feel willing to see if Christianity can help. But how do I begin to believe something I don't believe? How do I change my thought process? There is a person in my life who is a true Christian (bit crazy about God!) and knowing her helps. However, the question I asked on this site seems overwhelming and impossible. Can you help me?
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For starters, Christianity and God go hand in hand. Without God, there is no Christianity, so if you want to take a look at Christianity for help without looking for the helper then you're wasting your time. If I want a coffee, then I'm not going to pour only water into my cup, because that's just a cup of water. To enjoy the fullness of that cup then the coffee needs to be present. I urge you not to let people's inadequacies with religion force you away from finding and Him alone.
Remember, none of us are perfect, even though we try and put on those masks to make out that we are. If your searching for help and I hope you do find it, I encourage you to read the word of God. Start in Matthew and finish in John. Get to know Jesus and living perfect man/God He is. Learn of the beautiful Holy Spirit He is the help that you need. I'm excited for you brother, check Him out because He's the best decision that you'll ever make.
Just see the movie Case for Christ. It will answer your questions as it was written by an atheist who converted to Christianity after his long research....