Can a couple be married in God's eyes if they said their vows before witnesses, but are not legally married by the 'state?'
Is marriage a religious covenant, a civil contract, or both?
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Asked April 22 2015
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Deborah MARPLE
For follow-up discussion and general commentary on the topic. Comments are sorted chronologically.
Jennifer Rothnie
Here is something to think about:
When a couple gets married in a church building, it may take several weeks for the marriage certificate to be mailed in by the Pastor and cleared by the state. If something goes wrong with the marriage certificate, then it may be a couple months before things get straitened out.
Yet the couple is not "living in sin" if they go strait home after the ceremony and start living together. Why?
Christians generally consider a covenant made before God and witnesses to be binding, and it certainly is binding in the eyes of God. While a couple probably should be married by the state as well, both to comply with local laws and to avoid the appearance of evil, God does not need permission from the state to recognize a marriage. Marriage was instituted by God, and the first couple had no ceremony or witnesses, just God as officiant.
It's also interesting that in Jewish culture, a betrothed couple were considered 'married' as soon as they signed the betrothal contract. Usually, there would be a ceremony at some point, and then the couple would move in together. However, if they moved in together before the ceremony or did not have the ceremony, they were still counted as 'married'.
Lena Wms
In total agreement with my Sister! Another thought provoking Biblical based point:
If a man and a woman sleep together, they are considered married in the eyes of God. This is regardless of the circumstances, except for incest or rape. However, if the rape occurred in the city, and the maiden could have cried for help and did not, then the "marriage" still stood!
The man was to give restitution to the Father for soiling the name of his daughter, and to take her immediately as his wife. It did not matter if he had 5 wives, he now had another.
Imagine in today's society! Young men are encouraged to "sow their wild oats" and thousands of innocent lives are destroyed or brought into this world fatherless. Young women are no better, they are taught to flaunt and fling their bodies to attract and tease as many as they can. Now what if they had to marry each person they slept with? I would imagine the teen sexual explosion would dramatically DROP!! That is real planned parenthood! Of course God had a better plan than man ever could!!
We sure messed this one up! God Help US ALL!!
Be Blessed
Lena
Santanu Ghose
Hmm I so agree with the both of you. Especially, Lena's thought struck a chord.
Danny Hickman
"In God's eyes." Lena's point, and a good one.
I don't think God recognizes marriage licenses and civil contracts the way he recognizes what Lena pointed out.
God looks at our heart.
Sexual contact between a man and a woman is the basis of a "marriage." Marriage is a "joining together." A ceremony announces a plan TO BE JOINED, it doesn't actually consummate the marriage, the sexual contact does.
Read the story of the marriage between Samson and the woman he married who betrayed him and told the answer to his riddle at the wedding feast (Judges 14). Samson told his parents he wanted a Philistine woman, to "get her for me." His father went and checked her out. When Samson went back down to Timnah he "made a feast there" (vs 10).
The woman is now considered to be his wife. The feast preceded to consummation in that culture. There was a seven day feast; then the man would take his bride home. If there were any vows made, I haven't read about them.
After Samson's wife divulged the answer to his riddle (on the 7th and final day of the feast) Samson killed 30 men to pay off his bet. Then his "wife was given to his companion" (Jdg 14:20).
My conclusion: Samson had never bedded this woman.
This is a picture of the man of God and a bride that isn't faithful to him. This is a picture of the nation of Israel.
Note: it never reads that Samson loved the woman, but that she "looked good to Samson" (vss 3,7). Stated twice to make a point, I think...
Danny Hickman
Continuing,
Samson's mother and father tried to warn him about marrying a woman not in covenant with Jehovah God. When his dad went to meet the woman, the writer of the story specifically states that "She looked good to Samson." He clearly avoids saying that she passed inspection for Samson's parents.
These stipulations and specific details have lots of theological meaning.
This is one of the most potent stories in scripture. It precedes the story of Samson and Delilah that even the biblically unlearned know. Samson's "marriage" would probably surprise many who think they know his story.
What was his wife's name? The only thing we're told is that she was a Philistine (not in covenant with God). That's all that really mattered TO GOD! That's where Samson missed it; he didn't consider what his father, Manoah thought about him marrying a Philistine. His parents called the woman and her relatives "uncircumcised.” Judges 14:3 (this is indicative of him not considering what God thought about him marrying this woman of "the world.")
What am I saying? In answer to the question, God isn't part of the government of any state. God doesn't recognize state law... I know Romans 13 is trotted out and used to insinuate that God supports our laws. It is a misuse of scripture. We're told to respect the laws of the authority. We aren't told that God respects, recognizes, supports, or anything else about our laws and customs.
Authority in "Backwater Nation" is "ordained by God," also...