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S. Michael Houdmann
Supporter
At the risk of sounding noncommittal, the answer to both questions is "yes." There is an important balance between the two. We are not to frantically search for a spouse as if everything depends so...
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Philip Davies
There is a larger question behind this which applies to all of our actions in the Christian life. Should we take an active role in deciding what to do, or should we be passive and allow God to bring things about in his own time? Those who say that we should be passive indicate that God is in control of events and not us, and we acknowledge this by handing everything over to him, and our faithfulness is shown in 'letting go and letting God' and in not worrying about what to do. On the other hand there are those who point out that the Christian life is an active life. We are called to strive, to run, to choose, to work in the faith. Being a Christian and trusting God is not an excuse for disengagement. We have a responsibility given by God to use the talents he has given us, to work in his kingdom and to discern truth from error and right from wrong. I am of the opinion the Christian has been given responsibilities to choose the right things, make the right decisions and be active in the Christian life. We are called to account both for what we do and what we fail to do. What is important is that we do right by the principles God has given us. Even in choosing a spouse Regards Philip
Janet Austin
Both! When you want to find the right spouse, BECOME the right spouse. And while doing that, keep your eyes open for the person God is bringing you (if He is bringing you someone). More specifically, let God know you would like to be married and ask God to prepare you for marriage IF that is His will. Do your part by becoming well-grounded in the Word of God, and pray that God makes His desires yours. Furthermore, pray for your spouse-to-be even though you do not know who that is (or if there is such a person). Perhaps pray something as simple as, “God, please grow my spouse-to-be into a more godly person every day.” Also, ask God to VERY CLEARLY show you who your spouse is to be (if there is such a person). All of this is very important because (1) you want to be equally yoked, and (2) you will want a strong faith with solid convictions about God’s Word as the foundation of your marriage. Remember, in times of romance or loneliness, we are easily lead astray. In summary, delight in the Lord with all your heart (soak up His Word and grow in your love of God), and God will give you the desires of your heart. This means do NOT take for granted that you are to be married, but let God show you what direction you are to go in. Always be honest in prayer with God about what you hope for, but never act against His will.
Simplicius Pereira
The question here is how do we make our life meaningful and worthy of living. I understand the primary question we must as teen agers growing into adults ask who can be my better partner in achieving my God given vocation in life. When the children are taught in school they are prepared for a profession to choose which involves their interest, ability and comfort. They are given and are exposed to different types of profession and their requirements. At last the children together with their parents and in the light of God's will choose a profession which they resolve to carry out lifelong. They might change the profession in between for unexpected reasons or incidents by which they have to face many inconveniences and loss. But if it is inevitable they must do it. It is the same case with choosing a partner or spouse for living and building a family together lifelong. The main focus of one who gets married is actively and more responsibly look for a spouse in the light of God's will and having the qualities, interests of one's own self. They should be somewhat matching and complimenting which will greatly reduce the risk of dissent, fight, expectations, uncompromising and divorce. It is better to spend some time looking for partners, having some experience of each other, exposing ones real self, strengths and weaknesses and if they can adjust, bear and accept each other before committing to live together. God does surely show the most appropriate partner if the people getting married bring him in their dealings, conversations and prayers. Ultimately as christian the people getting married must give most important place to God and to his promptings because the spouse is going to be with them just in this life but God will be there with them for ever and in this life he decides for them what is awaiting for them for eternity based on their family living and their commitment to it
Tim Maas
Based on my own case, I would agree with Mr. Houdmann's "yes and yes" response. Judging from my pre-marital experience with women, if I had depended totally on waiting for God to act, I would still not be married. However, at the same time, once I took action with the clear and specific intent of finding a spouse (which would have been equally true on the part of the woman who became my wife), God ordered events in a way that made it unmistakably clear to me (and I think would also have been equally clear to any disinterested -- or even non-Christian -- observer) that she was the one unique woman whom God had always intended to be my wife, rather than just the product of random chance.
Jack Gutknecht
I have long believed, even before I married, that I as a Christian bachelor the Lord would bring me a woman to marry. I based this on Genesis 2:22, “And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man.” And it happened almost this way. As a bachelor and single pastor of a small Bible church in southeast Wisconsin, I would take our youth group to a Friday night “Lighthouse” gathering to enjoy music, food, and fellowship with a mixed group of teens and young adults. I played the guitar up front and my wife-to-be, Phyllis, played the piano. She was good; they called her “Piano Phyllis.” That’s where we met and eventually married. I asked the highly respected matron of “The Lighthouse” (formerly, “The Stained Glass Window,” both meeting in 2 different churches) if this prospective bride would make a good wife. She said “yes.” And the rest is history. I now have a wonderful wife!
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