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What are some useful tips, good biblical examples or bad biblical examples that teach how or how not to correct your husband?

Can you give some useful tips, good biblical examples or bad biblical examples that teach how or how not to correct your husband?
 
I have a lot more time for prayer and bible study than my husband does and over the years I have surpassed him in the knowledge of God and the bible. How do I correct him when he is in error about the scriptures in a way that does not offend him?

Clarify Share Report Asked August 31 2014 Mini Anonymous

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1338238681 Daryl Schlotthauer Supporter
I don't know if you want an answer from a "Husband" in regards to how to correct your husband, but first off, based on the way you ask the question it sounds like you are automatically assuming that you are always right and he is always wrong because you spend more time studying than he does.

Since you said that you "have more time for prayer and Bible study than he does", the "than he does" implies that he does pray and study his Bible. 

Based on what I read from others that have posted in response to your question, it sounds like they think that your husband is sinning and your husband needs to have his sins pointed out to him. I'm going to assume that you are asking how to correct his theology because he doesn't understand what the Bible says on different subjects where you two don't agree.

In my first marriage I thought my wife (now ex-wife) didn't understand the Bible correctly and I needed to teach her what the Bible was really saying about the things we disagreed on. I just knew that I was right and she was wrong. I felt like I had to prove her wrong because I was raised as a Christian in a family and in a church that spent a LOT of time in Bible study, therefore I knew more than she did, therefore I was right and if she didn't agree with me, she was wrong.

That was the WRONG thing for me to do and I regret how I treated her in those conversations. All I did was drive a wedge between us to the point where there was tension between us whenever we started talking about the Bible. What started off with me trying to help her correct her errors turned into a situation where we couldn't talk about how we understood the Bible and study together. Reading your question the way you wrote it sounded a lot like me in the beginning of my first marriage. I hope and pray that I'm wrong and that isn't the road you are going down with your husband, but if you are, I hope and pray that you step back and adjust the way you are thinking and don't make the mistakes that I made.

There is one God and one Bible that He inspired men to write and there is a correct understanding that God wants all of us to have. If the two of you have a disagreement about something that the Bible says don't assume that you are right and he is wrong. There may be things that you understand correctly and he is wrong, but it is safer to assume that there are things that he is right and you are wrong and both of you will find out in heaven what those were. Keep in mind every time you talk to him about something that it might be that disagreement where he is right and you are wrong (even if you really are right).

God blessed me with a second chance at marriage and from the time I met her 16 years ago until now there has been, and there still are things that we don't see the same. Some of the things that we disagreed on are things that we now agree on what the Bible says, and others we still don't agree. We both share what we believe and where in the Bible our belief is based on and then leave it to the Holy Spirit to convict both of us as to what God wants us to believe. If it is important to God that we both understand it correctly, the Holy Spirit always guides us in the direction He wants us to go and over time, we both agree. It's not important which of us was right, or even if we both were wrong at the start. When we both are in heaven God will clear up anything that we got wrong and I'm ok waiting until then to find out which one of us was right.

We both understand the plan of salvation and we both are saved by grace accepting the gift of God in that Jesus died for our sins. That's what really matters, and if you and your husband are saved, don't be concerned about how to correct him. Share what you believe and where in the Bible you base your belief and then leave it to the Holy Spirit to guide both of you to the understanding that God wants you to have.

April 12 2015 0 responses Vote Up Share Report


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Mini Christy Bergen Supporter
From my personal experience when I correct my Husband he feels disrespected unless I do it out of love. 
Romans:14 1Receive one who is weak in the faith, but not to disputes over doubtful things. 2 For one believes he may eat all things, but he who is weak eats only vegetables. 3 Let not him who eats despise him who does not eat, and let not him who does not eat judge him who eats; for God has received him. 4 Who are you to judge another’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. Indeed, he will be made to stand, for God is able to make him stand.

5 One person esteems one day above another; another esteems every day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind. 6 He who observes the day, observes it to the Lord; and he who does not observe the day, to the Lord he does not observe it. He who eats, eats to the Lord, for he gives God thanks; and he who does not eat, to the Lord he does not eat, and gives God thanks. 7 For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. 8 For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s. 9 For to this end Christ died and rose and lived again, that He might be Lord of both the dead and the living. 10 But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.11 For it is written:

“As I live, says the Lord,
Every knee shall bow to Me,
And every tongue shall confess to God.”
12 So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. 13 Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way.

I suggest you pray for him to realize his sin rather then pointing out his faults to him. The Holy Spirit can convict someone much better than we can and prayer is a very powerful thing. Mathew 26:53 Do you think I cannot call on my Father, and he will at once put at my disposal more than twelve legions of 

How do you know if your Husband isn't praying while he goes about his day? 1 Thess. 5:17 Says to pray without ceasing. If he is a believer he will pray anywhere he is.

September 01 2014 1 response Vote Up Share Report


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Mini Peggy Abbott Supporter
1 Peter 3:1 & 2
Ephesians 5:33
Unless your husband has asked you to teach him, let the Holy Spirit guide him. Let your behaviour not words show the truth. 
Show him respect and humility, like Jesus showed in becoming a servant. His disciples were his students but they also learnt by observing his behaviour. 
I myself struggle with telling instead of modelling.

April 12 2015 1 response Vote Up Share Report


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