Joseph Ben Hur Supporter Evangelist, Chaplain at Elderly Care Centre

In ancient Jewish tradition the custom of courting and kissing didn't really exist. 

When a groom wanted to get married he would find a bride and go through the pre-marriage arrangements. At that point they were considered betrothed to each other. 

However, once that was done he would then leave his bride to return to his home to begin building their prospective family home to be. (Hence the scripture, "Whilst Mary was betrothed to Joseph she became with child). 

Once the groom's father inspected the new home (built on the upper rear of the existing family home) and pronounced it finished, the groom would then make the wedding arrangements, and go and get his bride to be. 

Between the time of arrangement and the house being finished could be anywhere up to two years. During this time they would have only seen each other under very strict chaperoned conditions, let alone spend time together to engage in kissing. 

Whilst they were betrothed to each other it wasn't until after the wedding ceremony that they were allowed together to consummate the union. Then and only then were they able to touch each other. (Again, in Jewish religion [Judaism] male and female are not allowed to to touch each other outside of marriage. Not even a handshake).


In western society there are no boundaries at all. Except personal ones.
Now, is kissing when only engaged a sin? 

Personally, I don't think it's the kiss that's the problem. It's what a kiss can lead to if allowed to go on. Also when one kisses another person they are giving that person something of themselves to that other person. 

Even in dialogue, we are giving something of ourselves to each other. Hence in marriage, 'The two shall become one flesh'. Which is why religious Jews have the no touch law/boundary.

March 16 2014 • 1 response • Vote Up • Share • Report

Jack Gutknecht Supporter ABC/DTS graduate, guitar music ministry Baptist church

Good question, Lauren! I cannot emphasize enough the Christian perspective on kissing, suggesting that while kissing itself is not inherently sinful, it should be avoided if it leads to temptation. The underlying principle is to ensure that actions do not cause oneself or others to stumble in their faith, referencing Romans 14:13 and 1 Corinthians 8:9. 

My wife and I refrained from kissing while we were engaged for a few months, settling instead on hugging and rubbing noses. I knew my weaknesses (my limitations and boundaries) and wouldn't budge on this. I'm glad we waited until the wedding rehearsal when we knew this would probably come up (the night before the wedding)! It did! 

I know it is extremely hard, though, Lauren. Ask God for help!

13 days ago • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report