Don Pollock

"I've never personally heard of a teaching that addresses wives shortcomings and how men should deal with them.  So, what does the bible say about being a christian wife, using the same teaching approach that is applied to men?" 

There appears to be three questions here:
1)What does the Bible say about being a Christian wife?
2)What are some shortcomings of wives?
3)How should men deal with their wife's shortcomings?

Ephesians 5:33 Seems to sum up ALL three questions in a proverbial "nutshell."  "..let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." 

Question #1, What does the Bible say about being a Christian wife? 

According to Ephesians 5:23-33, Colossians 3:18-19, 1 Peter 3:1,5, Titus 2:5  all wives should;

A) "Submit" to their own husband in "everything", just like she should the Lord. (The word "submit", as used here,  means to subordinate, obey, be subject to, put under, subdue unto, submit self unto.) This is very challenging because no husband is exactly like the LORD, so, the closer he is to Jesus Christ, the easier it is for a wife to "submit" to him. Be "submitted to him as Sara was to Abraham and "called him lord". (1Pet.3:6)
B) "Reverence"(KJV)/ "Respect" their own husband. (The word "Respect", as mentioned here, literally means to "be in awe of", to greatly "revere", in the same manor that we would revere God.) 

Her relationship with her husband is to be an example of the church's relationship to Christ Jesus. She is NOT a lesser individual for being a "Christian wife", rather, she fulfills a GREAT & MIGHTY calling of manifesting a "profound mystery". She reveals to all how the relationship of the church should be with the Lord. (The husband does the same in his calling to "love" her "as Christ loved the church", BUT we are not yet speaking about the husband.)  :-)

According to 1 Peter 3:1-6(ESV) a wife should also;

A) Have "respectful and pure conduct."
B) Focus more on her inward spirit and attitude, more than her outward appearance.
C) Have a "gentle & quite spirit"/disposition. (Be meek & humble. Be peaceable.)

According to Titus 2:3-5 a wife should be;

A) Taught by the "older"/"aged" women of the church, and therefor implies that she should be teachable.
B) "Love her husband." (Love is defined by the whole chapter of 1Cor.13)
C) "Love her children." (Love is defined by the whole chapter of 1Cor.13)
D) "Self-controlled", "Discreet", temperate, sober, sound in mind (moderate as to opinion or passion).
E) "Chaste", (innocent, modest, clean, & pure).
F) "Keepers at home", (domestically inclined, watchful over her home, good house keeper, even implies a stayer at home)
G) "Good"/"KIND"

According to (1Cor. 7:3-4) a wife should, as the husband also should, 
"render unto" her spouse "due benevolence". (This is referring to intimacy & conjugal obligation.) 

If her husband is a leader in the church , 1 Timothy 3:11 teaches a wife to be;

A) "Grave"(KJV)/Honorable/honest/dignified.
B) NOT a "slanderer"/not a false accuser
C) "Sober-minded"/ vigilant
D) "FAITHFUL" in ALL things (Trustworthy & trustful)

Question #2, What are some shortcomings of wives?
Anything contrary to what scripture teaches a wife to be would be a "shortcoming." It would frustrate the appropriate union of that marriage and would not appropriately reveal the church's relationship to Christ Jesus for all of the world to see. 

Question #3, How should men deal with their wife's shortcomings?

This should be a separate study & answer because there is MUCH MORE to be said for the role of a husband according to scripture. To deal with "shortcomings" or ANYTHING in reference to one's wife, a husband should ALWAYS respond to her the way JESUS himself would respond to His church/bride. (For the "Joy" that will be "set before" you. To present to yourself a bride without "spot or wrinkle" who is EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL IN YOUR SIGHT.)

A) Treat her like fine china.(a "weaker vessel") BE KIND & GENTLE.
B) Take EXTREME WRONG like Jesus did on His way to, and ALL the way to, DEATH for His future bride. (It may hurt, but be A MAN! DIE for her!)
C) Wash & cleanse her with KIND & APPROPRIATE WORDS.
D) Respond to her as if you REALLY LOVE yourself and were responding to yourself. Treat her like you would like to be treated, as she is a part of your own body! She is YOU. You two are ONE FLESH.
E) He should NEVER HURT HER IN ANY WAY!! Rather, he should be protect her.
F) Be a LEADER (head) worthy of following. Be the "HEAD" and take care of your "body".
G) Be TRUSTWORTHY, WORTHY of "REVERENCE". ("Awe" her in every way possible.)
H) Be quick to apologize. (Take the humble rout.)
I) Be an EXAMPLE and a teacher. (LIVE FOR GOD according to HIS WORD). Be a LIVING EXAMPLE of WHAT a CHRISTIAN SHOULD BE for YOUR BRIDE & CHILDREN to see. 
J) Be the "priest" of your home. (Pray, read the Bible, & teach God's WORD)

Husbands and wives should both study 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 and live it everyday! Both should do what ever it takes to stay UNITED in peaceable and fruitful union. By doing so, both are exemplifying the union of Jesus Christ and the Church. 

Disclaimer: None of the above information is to imply, IN ANY WAY, that a wife should have to submit to physical ABUSE or constant verbal ABUSE in ANY WAY. 

Eph 5:22 (ESV)  Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Eph 5:23  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
Eph 5:24  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Eph 5:26  that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
Eph 5:27  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Eph 5:28  In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Eph 5:29  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,
Eph 5:30  because we are members of his body.
Eph 5:31  "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."
Eph 5:32  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.
Eph 5:33  However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Col 3:18 (ESV)  Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Col 3:19  Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.

October 08 2013 • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report