Donna Williams Supporter

Dear Anonymous, first allow me to say that I commend you for being transparent, and I too have struggled with forgiveness in times past.

However, it is through the power of the Holy Spirit, who is the one that makes it possible for us to walk in forgiveness. 

In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus is speaking to the Jews who were still under the law. And, in Galatians 4:4, we see that Jesus himself was born under the law. These words were spoken prior to His death and resurrection. The New Covenant was established after His Ascension. 

Under the New Covenant, we find what Paul, the apostle, wrote in Ephesians 4:32: "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."

The key is found in these two words, "in Christ." Meaning because of our union with Him, we have been forgiven, and through Him, we have been given the power to forgive. 

May I encourage you with the following verses, which I believe will give you insight and great comfort:

John 15:4: "Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me."

John 15:5: "I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." 

Romans 8:1: "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit."

Philippians 1:6: "Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."

Philippians 2:13: "For it is God who works in you both the will and to do for His good pleasure."

The New Covenant is founded upon the words of Jesus in Matthew 26:28: "For this is My blood of the new covenant, which is shed for many for the remission of sins." Through His blood we have been made one with Him.

12 days ago • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Jeffrey Johnson Supporter

How can I get better at forgiving and loving others?

Forgive Yourself First: You cannot fully love or forgive others if you are trapped in self-blame and shame.

The Bible says: "Become kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another."​—Ephesians 4:32.

Try to recognise the benefits of forgiving.

Ask yourself: 'Is the situation really that serious? Do I need to demand an apology, or can I overlook what happened and move on?'​—Bible principle: 1 Peter 4:8. ESV: "Above all things being fervent in your love among yourselves; for love covereth a multitude of sins:"

KEY SCRIPTURES:

"Forbearing one another, and forgiving each other, if any man have a complaint against any; even as the Lord forgave you, so also do ye:​"—Colossians 3:13. ESV.

"We all stumble many times."​—James 3:2.

"Love covers a multitude of sins."​—1 Peter 4:8.

Also, "prayer" is a good starting point for improving at forgiving and loving others.

Talking to God each day about our problems will help us apply things that please God.

These examples will help us to "Forgive Others" when we struggle to do so.

3 Reasons You May Be Struggling To Forgive:

1: You still feel the pain from the hurt that was caused
2: You have never experienced the feeling of being forgiven
3: You haven't come to terms with your true feelings

You believe there is no upside to forgiveness.

Also, we need to remember that we are all imperfect and do things that are not always agreeable to God or ourselves.

Paul is a good example of this point. Note what he says about himself:

Romans 7:15 ESV: "For that which I do I know not: for not what I would, that do I practise; but what I hate, that I do."

Romans 7:19 ESV: " For the good which I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I practise."

In his letter to the Romans, Paul wrote about a struggle he himself experienced​—a conflict between his flesh and his mind. Note the last line of Romans 7: 25 ESV: "I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then I of myself with the mind, indeed, serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin."

Paul was honestly acknowledging that, on his own, he was incapable of doing God's will to the extent that he himself desired.

The situation was not hopeless for Paul, and it is not for us.

Paul wrote: "Who will rescue me...? Thanks to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Rom. 7:24, 25)

So by talking to God about problems, even Paul overcame his issues, and so can we.

Day by day and to the best of our ability, we must endeavour to walk, or live our lives, in accord with the leading of the spirit. "Walking by spirit" leads to God's approval.​—Gal. 5:16.

So we all need to go on walking in accord with the spirit. Doing so will bring us blessings, for the minding of the spirit means life and peace.​—Gal. 6:7, 8.

12 days ago • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report

Kelli Trujillo Supporter Loving Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Teacher, Musician

Good question! It’s really two questions: “How can I get better at forgiving others?” and “How can I get better at loving others?”

I’ll start with forgiving others. Jesus tells us in Matthew 5, “43 You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I say to you, ‘Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven.’” (ESV)

He also tells us in Luke 6, “27 But I say to you who hear, ‘Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. 29 To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic[b] either.’” (ESV)

Lastly, Jesus tells us in Matthew 6, “14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (ESV)

When I struggle with forgiving others, I go to these verses and do exactly what Jesus says to do: Bless them, pray for them, and do good to them. I have found that although it can be challenging at first to pray genuinely favorable prayers and blessings over them, with time, your heart will start to agree with what your mouth is saying. James 3 says this about our words: “4 Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things.” (ESV) Just as a small rudder steers an entire ship, the tongue has the power to steer our minds and bodies. If you use your tongue to speak kind prayers and blessings over people who have hurt you, your heart will change towards them.

Now, about loving others, 1 John 4 says this: “16 So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 19 We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, ‘I love God,' and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot[a] love God whom he has not seen. 21 And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.” (ESV)

Have you ever heard the saying, “Hurt people hurt people”? When we’re hurting and not feeling loved by God, it’s hard to truly love others. Whenever I find myself in a place in which love isn’t freely flowing from my heart towards others, I know it’s time for a heart check between God and me. I’ll find time as quickly as I can to get in God’s presence, thank Him for His love for me, and set my focus on Him and all that He’s done for me. This usually helps reset my heart's attitude towards others.

One other thing I do is ask God to help me to see others as He sees them, through HIS EYES. When we recognize that God sees every person we know as a precious, beloved child–even the ones who hurt us or annoy us–this helps us to love them with HIS LOVE.

I hope this helps!

8 days ago • 0 responses • Vote Up • Share • Report